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Title: The stories are mainly on love and in that regard the title is suitable. But it would be better, if you can change it to something. Firstly because, the name is very basic. And secondly, the name 'Mohabbat ka kissa' is Hindi and the non Hindi speakers may not understand the meaning. The 'short stories' in parenthesis doesn't help much. (7/10)
Cover: Its pretty. However, try using a more generalised picture. (8/10)
Description: The description gives the first impression about the story. It becomes useless if the reader doesn't understand a word from it. Translate the beautiful lines that you have put in the description. The non- Hindi speakers would not imbibe the meaning of the short and crisp lines. (8/10)
Plot: The first story 'Influence by Love', is a sweet, cute love story between cousins. Loved the way you have written theiir equations individually. I won't say, the plot is unique or extraordinary, but it is definitely beautiful. The second story has started off pretty well. The reader would, presumably, enjoy the soft bickering among the protagonists. But both the stories seemed strikingly similar. The third one has barely begun. The right time to review it hasn't arrived yet. (7/10)
Character development: In the first story, the protagonists had been ver beautifully carved out. All of them are different in nature. The pace in which their individual characters changed seemed very real. The supporting roles, however, should've been given more importance. The second story 'Be hadd', too, had interesting characters. However, Nisha and Badar were very similar to Mahira and Shazil respectively. The 3rd one has just begun, so no comments on it for now. (6/10)
Story telling: The way in which the stories have been narrated in good. You have provided the translations to all the Hindi / Urdu dialogues. Try writing in shorter, and simple sentences. And also, write more descriptively, that would be awesome. (8/10)
Language and Grammar: The language used is simple and easy to understand. There are several grammatical errors, mainly in tense. For example, the title of the first story is grammatically incorrect. It will be 'Influenced by Love' and not 'Influence by Love.' Kindly, work on these. (7/10)
Punctuations: Avoid ending sentences with '....'. Otherwise, almost perfect. (8/10)
Graphics: Images used were beautiful. (9/10)
Overall assessment: I found the story very sweet and enjoyed reading it. But please complete one story before moving it to another, especially when you are writing a book as collection of short stories. (7/10)
PROS: >Steady plot. >Beautiful description. >Almost perfect punctuations. >Pictures used are good.
CONS: >Very basic title. >Grammatical errors. >The lead characters and the plt of the first two stories are almost same. >Incomplete stories. >Translation of Hindi and Urdu phrases required.
To the author,
You are a very good writer. I loved the different characters you have introduced to us in the first story. The plot was beautiful too. The second story, only 3 chapters though, is also beautiful but almost same as the previous one. However, the third one is probably different from the two as far as its forst and only chapter is concerned. But, your biggest drawback is, you have completed none of the stories. And this may infuriate certain readers. Please complete one story before jumping to another. Love and best wishes.
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I would like to recommend this story to all the readers who loving reading Romance books.
