Monster (A Remus Lupin X Sirius Black fan fic)

The strange connection

Sirius turned and left walking away from Remus was the hardest thing he had done and that said something with his family. He had received an owl earlier this week from his darling mother telling him how much of a disappointment he was so he would never forget he was loved. In between letters from his mother and father's letters reminding him they hated him, he got a letter from his little brother. He couldn't quite remember what it said but all he could remember of it was Regulas telling him to ignore their parents. He got to the Gryiffndor portrait and gave her the password he wasn't aware that he was crying until he got up to the dorm room where James and Peter were.
"Dude what happened?" James jumped of his bed and raced to Sirius' side nearly tripping over.
"What" that's when he realised and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Nothing. Nothing happened it's ok." He knew that the others didn't buy it at all. "I'm gonna go have a shower" he said walking away from them. He looked back to see them look at each other with a concerned look but Sirius chose to ignore it. He went down to the common room later on with James and Peter. The boys were doing their usual. Talking to people and annoying people the girls in specific. Sirius however took to a different approach by curling up on the lounge and watching.

They all headed down to the great hall for dinner but Sirius wasn't hungry. That was the biggest lie he had told himself and he told himself lies daily. He was starving but couldn't bring himself to eat. He tried but immediately felt sick. Every time he thought of Remus he started to feel sick and upset that he couldn't help him or his mother. Sirius left the others in the great hall and went back to the dormitory as he found it pointless being there if he couldn't eat.

The curtains were still open and the moon lit the dormitory. The moon surrounded by millions of stars shining not even nearly as bright. He couldn't help but look up at the moon from the window wishing it could stay like this. Dark, peaceful and beautiful he had always rather the night over they long days back with his parents, but now that he was here did that have to change? With a sigh he turned away from the moon and went to his bed not that he could sleep but he tried. He kept thinking of Remus. His mother. Was he even going to come back? There was one thought couldn't deal with. One thought that nearly made him cry. What if Remus came back even more broken then when he left? It wasn't hard for Sirius to tell that Remus wasn't normal he just couldn't put a finger on it. He laid there for a while in silence staring at the roof before he heard the others.

James who he had become close to but could be loud and annoying at times. He hadn't really talked to Peter much even though he hung out with the boys. The only thing he knew about Frank was that he was a Gyiffendor who shared their dorm room. Then his mind went back to Remus even though he wasn't there Sirius knew he should have been. Remus was quiet and shy but knew how to stick to a schedule, he also liked to read a lot. Over the last week Sirius would be talking to James but occasionally look over at Remus reading. An hour eventually passed and the other three were asleep so Sirius got up and went and sat on the windowsill watching the mood and stars. After a while he knew he had to try to sleep at some point so he got up but his eyes fell immediately on Remus' empty bed. He had made it this morning and there was a book sitting on it at that point Sirius fell apart. He climbed into his bed trying not to focus on the empty bed beside him and cried. Eventually he got tired luckily tomorrow was Saturday he fell asleep and wondered if anyone would look at him the same way he looked at the moon.

He woke the next day and immediately looked next to him hoping last night was all a big dream only to realise that it wasn't a dream and that Remus still wasn't there. The other boys weren't there either but he didn't have to guess where they were. Eventually he dragged himself out of bed and down to the common room where he found James and Peter playing chess. Sirius sat down on the lounge watching them.
"Everything ok mate?" James asked stopping the game for a moment.
"Huh? oh yeah"
"You sure you look really down today?"
"Yeah I just." He had to think for a minute. "I'm just wondering about Remus and his mother."
"They'll be ok now next game your playing."
"Your on."

The three played until they had to go down for dinner but that's when Sirius suddenly remembered Remus again. Not wanting to eat anything he sat there in silence while the others laughed and joked. Sirius knew he didn't fit in but Remus made him feel like he did. He was always the black sheep but when it came to Remus he knew something wasn't right he just didn't know what. He felt like he could relate to him.

When they were back in the dorm room getting ready for bed James finally spoke to Sirius.
"Sirius what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Don't lie to me I know when something's wrong. You've been like this since last night.
"James it's really nothing."
"Well tough luck because I don't believe you. Sleep on it and I'll ask you again in the morning." He pulled the curtains around his bed shut and fell asleep hoping that Remus should be back tomorrow.