5sos Pregnancy Series

Thoughts and Conversations

Ashton (His POV)

It had to be around one-thirty in the morning and Mandy and I were wide awake. We laid underneath the sheets, listening to the thunderstorm and talking about everything and anything that we could think of. But the only thing I could think of was the spare bedroom across the hall from our master bedroom. It haunts me across the hall, filled with nothing but random possessions that didn't make the cut for the other rooms yet are too good for the attic. It didn't really have a solid purpose and I think it's time it did. Mandy and I have been married for three years and we're ready to take the next step. When we first got married we discussed it in the far future as we were just young kids in love then. Now we're not so young anymore and the room across the hall deserved a fresh new coat of paint. I'd even be home to watch the paint dry and help Mandy take care of its furnishing needs as my band is taking our time writing the new album. Now would be perfect timing to finally put that room into use. "Hey, are you still listening to me? Wouldn't Walmart be the best place to hide during a zombie-" Mandy stopped when she saw me looking at the ceiling, thinking. "Are you okay? You look like your in deep thought about something." She said looking at me. Just then a big bolt of thunder boomed shaking the house. "I'm just thinking about that spare bedroom across the hall," I said turning on my side, propping up my head with my hand, facing her. "What about it?" She chuckled, knowing the disaster it is. "I'd be great for a sleeping baby... or even a crying one since it's right across from us." I've thought about starting a family a lot and I know it's something we both want. Mandy paused making the rain outside hitting the glass window audible. "What are you saying, Ash?" She asked even she knew what I was getting at. "Have you thought about having a baby now? Because I have and I think we're ready for it." Her eyes wandered the room, searching for words. "Yes, of course, I have but taking care of a baby is hard work, Ash. I knew that when I married you, you weren't going to be home twenty-four seven but I can't do it by myself, you know. I'm going to need you here to help me." Her ocean blue eyes met mine and I started twirling one of her curls between my fingers. "I know you're right and I want to be there for both which is why now is perfect timing. If the album is finished on time then we wouldn't go on the road till sometime next year and by the looks of it, that album is far from done. The only thing that would get in the way are a few award shows, management meetings, and studio time. So, I can promise you I'll be here with you every step of the way, Mans." Through the moonlight, I saw a smile creep from the corner of her mouth and I knew I got her. "So should we start trying tomorrow?" She raised an eyebrow and I was well aware I wasn't getting any sleep tonight. It seemed the spare bedroom across the hall would finally have a purpose soon.

Calum (His POV)

As I watched Rachel play with her little stepsisters before we left, the feelings I shoved away for Rachel's stake reappeared stronger than ever. I loved watching how their faces lit up when she played with them. Through their eyes, Rachel was a living Disney princess cartoon and they couldn't get enough of her. I just don't understand why she's so afraid of having a child of her own.

On the plane back to Sydney I tried to man up the guts to ask her about it. She was resting her head on my shoulder, looking at the clouds through the oval window. "Hey, babe?" I spit out without thinking. "Yeah? Something wrong?" Rachel asked, catching the unsteadiness in my voice. "I want to have a baby with you." There was a beat of silence as she processed what I said. She then lifted her head off my shouldered and I saw her start to tense up from the corner of my eye. "What?" She choked, turning her head to look at me. "Let's have a baby. I'm ready to take the next step with you." I said confidently. "I don't know Cal... " She said, her voice shaky. "Come on Rache, what are you worried about? You're amazing with your stepsisters." She ran a hand through her dark hair and took a deep breath. " I just don't want our child to go through what I did- losing a parent." Like in most Disney princess stories a parent or both parent dies. In my princess' case her mother died when she was a teenager. When we first met, Rachel was still battling with the aftermath of her loss within her and claimed she didn't want to be rescued on my white horse. She said she needed and wanted to deal with it herself. She continued, "What if something happens to you or me? You know how hard it still is for me even after all these years. My life was turned completely upside down and I didn't have time to deal with it because I had to grow up so fast to be a second mother to Lauren. It was the hardest thing ever and I'd hate for another child to go through it." A tear started running down her cheek and I pulled her into an embrace as much as I could in our tight airplane seats. "I can't imagine what you went through and I get not wanting another child to go through it but nothing is going to happen to us," I said suddenly feeling bad I triggered her tears. "And I know I can't predict the future and promise you that one-hundred percent but what I do know I can promise you one-hundred percent is that, I'm always going to be here for you and you know that." Rachel wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her shirt then sighed. "Of course I know Cal and I love you for that. But this is something I really need to get through myself and I don't think I'm ready for a baby right now. Just give me some more time to think about it." She said and I knew she would. "Ok babe, whatever you need- I can wait," I said a little disappointed yet understanding. I don't want to rush her into something she isn't ready for. With her tear stained cheek on my shoulder, it seemed my princess still needed some saving but her prince had to back off and keep his white horse in the stable yet again. As I've learned, this was something she could only deal with herself.