Lovestruck Diaries [Kimetsu No Yaiba Oneshots]

Free Fall (SaneKana)

***

"So tell me again how did I end up here in your kitchen making curry at 3:30?" He asked not bothering to look at her and continued stirring the pot.

"I don't know. I just tried to make myself dinner." She replied, her eyes glued to the tv as she sprawled on the couch like a cat.

He could only snort at that.

***

It started like this.

"How the fuck did you manage to summon me?!" The demon screeched amid her destroyed kitchen struggling to keep about a ten meter distance away from her. While she could only gasp, frantically going through the pages of the cookbook.

"I don't know!" She screamed back at him, "I was trying to cook chicken soup!"

"Chicken soup? Who the fuck makes chicken soup using a whole chicken that's still dripping blood and still has feathers!!" He was feeling sick. Like really sick, he's going crazy. He's still sweating from nervousness, he could feel he's about to piss in his pants and his heart- oh wait. He doesn't have a heart.

But anyways, he's now in the human world summoned by a psychotic or rather dumb girl.

"Don't judge me!!" She screamed once again pointing a finger at him, "I did all I could to steal that chicken from my neighbor! I even dirtied my hands and killed it just to eat!"

"That's not really the point." He sighed and ran a hand through his snow white hair muttering incoherent curses.

"Just listen here little miss. You summoned me, the god of the underworld river and lake of pain. Now this is the contract." He said and handed her a piece of paper.

"It says here that you can grant my wish if I give you am equal amount of pain and suffering. That's weird." He looked at her almost instantly. "No. You're definitely weirder." He said. Because, it was an unusual response. Heck, this whole situation is bizarre.

"Would you really want pain and suffering? I would donate happiness instead."

Yes, this is definitely out of the ordinary. And should not exist. The world must be ending and every other universe would then vanish. This is one of the signs before danger. And he whole being screams for him to leave the fuck out of here before everything gets out of hand and they would both be either punished or slayed.

"Excuse me what?" That was the only response he could muster. His head is spinning like crazy. A girl managed to summon him accidentally and wants to give him happiness.

"Well, this is what it states; you human being now hold the power of Akheron, being managed to summon him you can't get rid of him unless you have signed the contract.

1. A wish shall be exchanged with sadness and pain.

2. The greater the wish, the more pain and suffering you need to gift.

3. By exchanging your own pain for a wish your pain will be removed from yourself and Akheron will be the one to shoulder it instead.

4. He can only be until you die. Because a day with him will mean that you will lose three years of your original lifespan." She finished and looked at him.

"Would you be willing to change the rules of the contract? If not then be prepared to be with me for the rest of my life because I won't sign that." She beamed, deep amethyst colored eyes burning bright into his own lilac ones.

This is more troublesome than he thought.

"Fine. What do you want to change?" He grunted in response feeling completely defeated. And also mentally tired of all this bullshit.

"Instead of sadness, I'll give you my happiness."

***

And that's how he, Sanemi Shinazugawa managed to be stuck with Kanae Kochou making her a pot of curry at 3:30.

"Ah, I almost forgot." She finally speaks up, pausing the drama she's watching in Netflix. "What's your name?" Kanae asked as he then went to grab a plate and some cutlery turning off the rice cooker.

"Didn't you read the contract? It said Akheron, right?" He then opened the pot grabbed a spoon and placed a decent amount of rice on it.

"Hmm. Is it your true name?" She inquired still drilling holes at the back of his head using her gaze.

"No. Now shut up and eat." He replied sliding the plate on the table, sitting down and faced her.

"You know even if you are a demon, you're really knowledgeable about household chores. You'll make a good husband." She remarked.

"And I'm sure as hell you wouldn't." He replied and she tossed a spoon right in his face. This girl really is weird. Despite being sometimes lady like she could also resort to any kind of violence. And regardless of her stupidity in cooking she's pretty much smart about anything else.

He might try and ask one of the judges of the dead how many points she has. The great Assemble will be held in Tartaros this decade, and he wouldn't miss a chance to meet the winged.

***

Author's Note: So this is like a Greek Mythology Au. And honestly I don't know a thing about Greek Mytholgy, I did do some research but I don't know if what I gathered is correct, so yeah. And in some parts I just made things up.