Sous Le Ciel de Paris [English Version] (Completed)

Chapter 1: La vie en Rose

"Dear Clarke

If you are reading this letter, it is because I have left, my spirit has left this old body. God knows how much I have tried to take care of it, but it has still given me some fights. I hope you'll don't go through the same as I have my dear, so always pay attention to your body, take care of it so it doesn't screw you in your old age.

Clarke, you know that you have always been special to me, and we have shared so many things, so many beautiful moments that I will take with me wherever my spirit goes. You have returned love and joy to my life. The light of your love, of your very existence, made me remember that life is about more than just surviving, darling, so you must never forget that.

My only regret is not being able to tell you a very special story, that I lived when I was very very young, innocent, and also a bit silly. It was the story that marked my life forever, a story that I never told anyone, not even your dear mother.

When you confessed to me that day in tears about your enormous fear to discover that you liked both, men and women, I felt that my soul went back many years to the past. At that time I couldn't tell you, I was a coward, darling, and I hope you'll forgive me one day for that. But when I told you that I understood you very well, and you looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes, confused, or disbelieving in my words, imagining that, of course, Grandma couldn't know what you were feeling, but I did more than you could ever imagine.

When I was barely 20 years old, I got a wonderful scholarship to study art in Paris, for a year. Uncle John helped me get it and passionately fought for me in the face of the flat denial of my parents. They couldn't conceive letting me go to the other side of the world, being a woman and at such a young age, for a whole year. In their eyes, it was complete madness.

Uncle John, as you know, or I have told you, was always my savior. He was a wealthy bohemian man, who traveled most of the time around the world. Knew many wonderful places, that he will always spoke about with excitement. Telling me about those incredible and so different places, about cultures and people from different countries and continents. And he knew about my two loves in life, art, and Paris.

Uncle John made my dream happen, don't ask me how, that I won that art study scholarship in that beautiful city of my dreams. Somehow I felt it was his very special 20th birthday gift to me, I mean, yes, I had come of age. But in those days being a woman was something that went against freedom, I mean it didn't matter that I was over 18, my parents still had absolute power over me until I married. Of course, when I was married my husband would take control of me. Oh yes, my dear, it was a real nightmare. I'm glad that you were born and raised in different times than me, and with more freedom.

I was very young, very innocent, and as I said, a little silly, believing too much in fantasies rather than reality. I dreamed of falling in love with a man, and living the dream of the beautiful and enchanted prince, and being happy forever. But my prince had not yet appeared, so I dedicated myself completely to my passion, which was art, drawing, painting, and studying French, because I was planning to fulfill the dream of visiting Paris one day.

The problem was that some time ago I noticed that my parents were trying to find a man, that they considered the best for me. In other words, they wanted me to marry a good man. A man of good name and money, who was very common in those days, and yes my dear, it was really shitty. But as I said, women were under the control of our own families, we had almost no right to think for ourselves, if it was not under the supervision of a man.