The thing about death, it's frightening at first. After you resign to it, the void becomes solace. It's odd. I find comfort in it. There is no more pain, no more worries, no more inputs, no more processes, and no more outputs. It's literally nothing, no life, and nothing within. I would imagine that it's like floating in space before matter coalesces and stars flicker on. More importantly, before the difference was known or an affinity to either light or darkness was developed.I am ok with this. No hell, no heaven...Just nothing. Correction, as an agnostic, this might be my heaven. I can't believe how good this feels. The contrast compared to before is insane. Wasn't I married? Yes, and I have kids, daughters.A distant, dim light breaks the darkness. That must be the light at the end of the tunnel. Is it me, or is the light getting brighter? It is a strange light and pierces through the black to illuminate me. It feels cold and painful. For the first time, since I got here, I feel disoriented and confused. I mean spirits don't have nerves. The light is pulling me in closer. As it is drawing me in, I can start differentiating all sorts of pain and discomfort. Existence is raping my senses. They haven't killed me yet. As soon as I regain consciousness, I am taking one down with me. I don't care anymore.The scream I push out is so vicious and primal, it surprises me. I sound like a raging bear putting up its last stand. I extend my arms to grab the first person I can get my hands on. Suddenly, my right arm stops short. I attempt a second time, then a sharp pinch near my right wrist suggests I should stop. As I try to figure out what kind of shackles they have on me, the world around me is coming into focus. An alarm goes off, the high pitch noise is assaulting my ears and cracking my skull open. I should have stayed dead. I attempt to hold my head. There is that pain in my wrist again.An IV?! Confused, I allow my eyes to focus. There is an IV near my wrist. The IV tube leads to what I am assuming to be a reasonably modern and new IV dosing machine. I am wearing a hospital gown. It's green with the caduceus, in black, repeating in various degrees of rotation. I feel something on the right side of my neck, tugging at my chest. I pull the collar of the gown and found EKG leads glued throughout my torso. Well, what is left of my trunk, I can see more gauze then skin. Bloody hell! They beat me to a pulp then patch me up. They need me for something. SGT Leopold? Sais a female with accented English. Startled, I find myself looking at a young woman in a nurse's attire. She is beautiful with blue eyes, slender, and has blond hair. She is probably in her mid-20s, and 5 foot 5 inches tall.-SGT Leopold, my name is Frederike...-Frederike?-Yes. You are in Landstuhl Medical Center. I am your nurse.Untitled Part 2
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How I survived Killing Myself
Ficción GeneralWhen Charles a soldier wakes up from a six-month coma, he must deal with his failing marriage, the death of his friends in the attempt to rescue him and living through the filter of PTSD.
