Till The Count Of Five ✓

Chapter 21 (Part 1)

Chapter 21 (Part 1)

I'd search for you in the dust too, then we would finally meet and finally I'll feel whole again.

Kiara

1st May 2019, Wednesday
7:00

People were going to call me stupid but I was fine with that. I smiled at my reflection, at the blue uniform I wore instead of the white one. Ash's handprints were visible, not as vibrant as they had been, but visible. I knew this was the right time. It had been twenty one days of sulking. When guilt invaded my mind, I shook my head. She would have wanted this. She would have loved this. I cleared my throat and wore my specs, adjusted the hair band and I was ready. Nolan had been quite impressed by the NGO but awfully silent on the way back. He said he would like to come every week, even if I could not. I jumped readily at his offer.

'The far, the better,' I had thought.

My laptop lay open. I plugged it out, opened Sameer's audio and deleted it. Above the laptop, hung a sticky note with 'sorry' written on it. She was sorry, so was I. But sadly, we were past that. I took that down and threw it in the bin. Whatever she was sorry was, I forgave her. I would have forgiven her that night if she had explained it to me.

My school bus came into view. I picked up my bag and ran down the stairs, feeling the rush through my body. I was hopeful of the days that would come. The bus stopped and I got on it. My usual seat was occupied by a girl, so I went to the one behind her. A yellow leaf was lying on the seat. My fingers brushed it aside and I sat down. Something else fell down along with the leaf. With a frown, I picked up the paper.

Good luck, it said. I threw it out and shut the window. There were only a few people, most of them were below seventh grade, the rest belonged to ninth or tenth grade, not a single face I knew well. Who would wish me good luck?

Two more kids climbed up the bus after five minutes, one of them holding a sheet of coloured papers. She sat on the seat next to mine and chattered with her friend about some competition. I shook my head. Maybe that paper fell from someone's hand. The paranoia did not end. I leaned my head back and shut my eyes, trying to drift away temporarily.

10:50

I had begrudgingly left the class to fill my bottle, feeling awful and tired. And it was barely eleven o'clock. I stood at a side while the others filled their bottles. This time of the year was exhausting. Nolan was nowhere in sight today but I couldn't be sure. We had no assembly due to the heat roasting us all.

A guy stepped out of the washroom and searched the maid's corner. "Where is she?"

Another student went into the washroom but returned the next second. "What is that?" He asked.

I ignored the queer glances they threw at each other and filled my bottle.

"Kiara," a girl said. "You have to see it."

I closed the lid and grabbed the tissue she was holding, slick and wet.

Coward. The word was visible despite the smudged ink.

"Why are you showing this to me?" I asked and handed it back to her, its corner sticking to my hand.

"There's more, so much more."

I frowned and followed her to the washroom. The sinks were littered with trimmings from the school magazine. I could see the papers arranging themselves to form my disfigured face. Inside the cubicles, there were more on the floor. They didn't particularly point at me but no one could miss the school's logo, or the assembly ground, or my uniform.