Chapter 60

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Chapter 60

Losing is not dying, losing is living a life where you're stripped of the one thing you want and your heart waits to crumble like an autumn leaf.

Nolan

11th April 2019, Thursday
22:20

I stared at her in surprise. Her eyes were cold and she tapped her fingers on the bed, the sound hideous to my ears. I knew it wasn't her. She was a nice girl but this was crazy. I looked again at the letter and lifted my eyes when I heard her look through the drawer. She gave me another paper. I stared at it incredulously. Sorry, I hope you understand, Kiara.

"No," I said, "You're creating unnecessary drama." As soon as the words left my mouth, I winced. I hadn't meant to hurt her but she was creating useless shit. It was her birthday for Heaven's sake. Why could she not shut up and enjoy the day? "Ashiamma, sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."

Coming here had been wrong. I had lost my mind when I saw them together, each moment injecting dread in me. I kept on thinking during the party, she'll tell her now. She'll tell her now. I turned to the door, making sure the letter was with me. I needed time to think.

"I'll call her," she said and I stopped at the door. She raised the phone to her ear as the ring went. I could hear it.

"No," I said with desperation. "Give me some time, Ashiamma."

"I don't have time. I have to tell her tomorrow morning. Why not now?" Her other hand went to the bottle.

I took the opportunity and snatched the phone out of her. Looking around, I went towards the bathroom and tried to put some distance between the two of us.

"Nolan, give it to me."

"No," I said. "Please, I can't lose her."

"You don't even have her."

She tried to snatch the phone. I stepped back.

"But you told me she likes me."

"I lied."

I shook my head. It was not possible. I had seen the way Kiara looked at me. She liked me. I liked her.

"I don't believe you," I said.

She shoved me and got her hands on the phone. "Why can't you love me like you love her?"

"I don't love her. I don't love anyone. Ashiamma, stop this nonsense."

She didn't. It all happened too fast. One second she was dialling a number while I tried to get the phone away from her and the next she fell.

My eyes widened. Her head hit the bathtub. The stupid bottle of pills landed next to her.

"Shit, are you okay?" I asked.

Everything felt so surreal and nightmarish.

"Shit, Ashiamma."

I was about to touch her when I heard an engine go off. Her parents were here. I got up hurriedly and left through the window, telling myself that they were here now. They'd check on her. She would be fine.

My ears caught a faint murmur.

"They help me."

On my way to the car, I saw a homeless man. Our eyes met and he stared at me like he knew what I had caused.

I did not stop until I had reached my car that Max had parked at considerable distance from her house. He looked at my flushed state.

"Did she listen to you?"

I shook my head.

"It's alright. You can try again tomorrow."

I could only hope for that. I could only hope that she'd live. I didn't want to be a murderer. I was not a murderer. A single tear rolled down my face.

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THE END

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