Till The Count Of Five ✓

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I can draw you and declare you dead, or I can hold you inside me and pretend we never happened. Thinking you're alive is a laughable joke now.

Kiara

13th April 2019, Saturday
11:15

I was happy for a distraction especially if it came in the form of English period. The easiest part of eleventh class was passing English exam where half of the things were completely reliable on my shoulders, writing an article for example. So when the teacher clapped her hands and announced that we would do a writing course, I happily complied. As I brought my pen to my notebook and waited for her to announce the topic of the article, I expected something of higher level, something that showed 'maturity and intellect of sixteen years old', rather we got an essay on 'My best friend'. My best friend.

I stared at my teacher and the smile she gave us all. Her proud gaze fell on us and stopped at me, her lips turning upside down and sympathy clouding her face. Everyone followed her gaze and I found myself staring at a class of thirty seven students. Poor Kiara. I picked up my pen and began writing whatever hit my mind. Everyone else got to their work and the teacher walked up to me. I did not dare look up. After writing two lines, I gave up and mentioned her name, something I wanted to avoid.

"You're still in each other's space," my teacher said with a hint of a smile.

I gulped and continued writing. The Genie to my Aladdin, the bristles of my brush, the...my pen lingered above the words. I had already run out of things to write, things I did not want to remember, things that connected us. My fingers traced the date on top of the page. It had been only two days. Her ashes were yet to join the river on its journey to home. The pen fell out of my hand and I pushed my chair back. The teacher paused and turned to me. I did not have to ask. My feet walked on their own, my legs numb. I removed my specs and rushed towards the washroom. The door of my class opened behind me but I did not dare look back.

The water flowed out of the tap, falling into the drain from the spaces between my fingers that trembled from the fear. The fear of the unknown. The fear of truth. I gathered water in my palm but it slipped out before I could even bring it close to my face. The long held breath came out in the form of a tired exhale. Why could this not end?

I turned off the tap and turned around, the marble of the sink piercing into my back. My hands grabbed the sink for support as I whimpered. You liar. Ash, you liar. I hate you. You promised you'd help me with med school. You promised to make me confess to Nolan. You promised to stay. Liar.

When I heard a flush and the door of one of the cubicles open, I wiped my eyes and turned back to the sink. With my head low, I kept my eyes away from whoever was here. Her steps stopped and I felt her pause right behind me. I raised my head and found myself staring at Shay through the mirror. Her puffy eyes and pale skin caught my attention first, then the handkerchief she held. That piece of cotton had two initials on it, A and S. My head fell back and I laughed, reaching for my specs. Once my clear vision was back, I examined the handkerchief again. This girl had to be kidding me. I did not move, giving her a chance to leave. She did not.

"So you're crying now?" I said. "You're crying after throwing her in garbage. I am impressed, Shay. I did not know you have a heart."

Her head was bent low, towards me but not quite looking at me.

"Still staring at your own reflection?" I was amused to say the least. "Honestly, go on. I just need to see how low you can scoop."

I pulled the handkerchief out of her hand. "You never really knew to return gifts."

She scowled and snatched it back. "Sometimes, it is not about gifts. It is about being a friend."

I could have doubled over at her words, laughing and grasping for air if her words did not anger me. "And you're saying that on what basis? Jealousy?"

"You have an e-"

I grabbed the finger she pointed at me and shook my head. "Point this at yourself, your loser self."

I pushed her hand away and began to walk to the door.

"I have the right to grieve. She was my friend," Shay said.

I stopped midway. "Excuse me? Grieve all that you want. But she was never your friend. You were never her friend, or anyone else's." I turned back to leave.

"I'm sure Vicky would forgive me." Vee's name sent a jolt down my spine. My head was beginning to spin by just looking at her.

"He would do no such thing." I tilted my head and smiled. "No such thing." It was Vicky Singhania of all the people. "I'll tell you what's good for you. Leave us the hell alone. Vee doesn't know the whole truth."

"Do you want him to?" She folded her arms across her chest. "Do you want him to–"

"You were never her friend. No one could ever be. Don't you see? Even after you, even while Mehak existed, Ash had only two friends."

"And how did that help her?" She pushed her hands into the pockets of the untidy faded thing that barely classified as a proper skirt.

"Vee is already–" I paused, thinking of a word, one single word that could do justice to the injustice I was being pushed into. "–distant. We're not the same anymore. He's not the same anymore."

She knew what I meant, we all did. No one in Dandelion Presidency forgot a stage mishap, a misspelled or stuttered word said either out if nervousness or under influence.

"Do you want me to tell him?" I finally asked when her eyes began to throw fireballs of tears. "Do you think he'd not believe me?"

"Why can't you leave me at peace?"

Was that what a guilty man said? I wanted to laugh and smash her head in the mirror. Reality check, sweetheart.

"Reality check, Kiara. Ask yourself whatever you ask me. Let's talk about saints, then." Her gaze traced Ash's gift.

I clenched my jaw. "Leave. Don't give me a surprised look. Leave us all." I pushed her aside to leave.

"My silence doesn't mean I am wrong."

"Leave, Shay. Or else I'll prove you wrong." I did not bother looking back.

"Pray then, that I leave forever." Her voice dropped. "Because if I return, I'd tell the truth, all of it. Ash has left us, you're still here enjoying your life."

Enjoying. I would be enjoying my life after I got a chance to wrap my hands around that throat.