Ready. Set. LOVE. | Kōshi Sugawara x Reader

Tell me the truth Kageyama

You flip a page in your history book trying to look for the answer to your homework assignment. The sunset streams through the window in front of you as you listen to music from your earphones. Your right hand holds onto a pen, scribbling down a few words. A beep rings from your cellphone and a text notification flashes on the screen. Lowering your pen you reach over to your cellphone.

Two messages: Sugawara Kōshi

Your fingers hover over the keyboard as you start to reply to Suga. But before you hit send, your dad calls out to you from downstairs. "Y/N! Someones at the door for you."

Raising an eyebrow, you take your earphones off and slide your feet into your slippers. Exiting your bedroom you walk downstairs. Dad wears a suspicious expression when you walk past him to answer the front door. Upon opening the door, the person who stands there makes you freeze. Kageyama stands in front of you out of breath. His black hair clings onto his sweaty face and his gym clothes are also soiled with sweat. Your heart aches when you look at him and you're in no state to face him right now. Lowering your eyes you step back to close the door in front of him.

"Y/N WAIT!" Kageyama shouts to you. You freeze when you hear Kageyama call you by your first name. "Wait..." His voice sounds strained when he looks at you from the crack of your door. "Can we talk?" Your hand releases from the door knob. A sense of anxiety runs through your body and you find yourself unable to answer him. If he plans to hurt you more with his words, you're going to fall apart right where you stand. "Please." Kageyama whispers. The pain in his voice pulls your heart strings. Biting your lower lip you open the door again to reveal yourself to him.

Your eyes look up to meet his dark blue ones. Digging your nails into your palm you speak up. "If you're here to hurt me even more, I'll go back inside." Your words tremble as you say them aloud. Kageyama stares at you in silence. He notices how swollen Y/L/N's eyes are and the pain in her voice when she speaks to him.

Your eyes briefly avoid his the longer he stares at you. "Can you make it quick? I have homework to do." You murmur under your breath. Kageyama lowers his head, his breathing now calm.

"I was wrong." Kageyama clenches his teeth as his thoughts swirls around him. He struggles to find the correct words to say to you. His constant angry attitude makes him say ridiculously dumb things. "I was wrong to yell at you and treat you the way I did yesterday and today." Kageyama knits his brows together when he replays the events from yesterday. He remembers how awful he was to shove Y/L/N away. He also added more fuel to the flames by embarrassing her this morning in front of other students. Clicking his tongue he grows angry at himself. Y/L/N's been nothing short of sweet and patient with him since the very beginning. The good memories of the two seeming to flood back to him. But of course he didn't remember those moments when he grew angry or too focused on himself.

Your silence gives him anxiety when he looks over to you. Your expression already numb to his words. "Usually anger pulls out the truth." Your words stab Kageyama in the chest. "How do I know that you actually feel wrong about your actions, Kageyama." Kageyama stares at you in silence, his mind drawing blanks. Seeing his silent state, you turn around to leave. The longer you stand in front of him the weaker you start to feel. Your hand reaches for the doorknob but Kageyama stops you. He wraps his arms around your waist, your breath hitches from the sudden physical touch. Kageyama's chin rests on your shoulder, his chest against your back.

"If you don't believe my words then I'll show you with my actions." Kageyama's voice is shaky when he holds onto you tightly. He releases you briefly to turn you around towards him. He gingerly places a hand on your bruise. Guilt written all over his face. Carefully he strokes your elbow, whispering a sorry. You stare at Kageyama, unsure how to feel at this moment.

Should you hate him for breaking your heart? Or should you forgive him?

The heartbreak still a fresh wound to your heart.

Is Kageyama only acting kind to you because he feels guilty? Or does he actually feel sorry for hurting you because he still loves you?

You keep questioning everything he does. You lack the confidence of knowing that he truly loves you. Kageyama struggles with showing affection and that's played a huge part to the lack of confidence you have between your relationship.

Kageyama notices Y/L/N's silence when he looks at her. Her eyes stare at him but her thoughts are elsewhere. He places his hand on top of her head, stroking her hair softly.

You stiffen under his touch, your tears littering your face. His hand strokes on your head seems to be your kryptonite as it tears you apart. Yesterday you were crying to yourself thinking that you wouldn't experience something so small as this from him ever again. Now here Kageyama is, doing the very thing you ached for. But your emotions are conflicted now.

Is Kageyama genuinely sorry or guilty?

What made him realize that he was in the wrong?

Weakly you grab onto his wrist, lowering his hand down to his side. "Kageyama...answer my question from yesterday." Your tears slide down your cheek when you look into his dark blue eyes. "Do you even love me?" You strain to say the words for the second time within the past two days.

If he genuinely loves you, he wouldn't hesitate to answer right away.

Kageyama silently stands there staring into your eyes. Seconds feel like minutes when you wait for his answer.

Kageyama presses his lips together, avoiding your eyes now and you feel your heart slowly rip apart again. You start to break when you look at him. His actions and words are not matching up and you feel like your heart is being played with. Kageyama must be apologizing to calm down his own guilt. Once again he's selfishly thinking about himself. Not wanting to put yourself around Kageyama, you run back inside the house. Closing the door behind you, you run upstairs avoiding your parents gazes. You close your bedroom door and throw yourself onto your bed. Closing your eyes, you cry yourself out until you fell asleep. Long forgetting to finish your homework and to reply to Suga.