Ready. Set. LOVE. | Kōshi Sugawara x Reader

This time for sure.

You stare at your phone screen with wavering eyes.

What did Kageyama text you for?

Unsure how to reply, you slide your phone back into your pocket. Another text comes through.

You bite your lower lip, a tightness in your chest forms.

🏐･ﾟﾟ･｡.

Kageyama stares at his phone, awaiting a reply from Y/L/N. "Good practice today Kageyama. See you tomorrow!" Hinata shouts beside him. Kageyama nods his head, flicking his eyes away from his phone. He watches Hinata rush over to Yachi who's been waiting for him. Seeing the two brings back old memories of Y/L/N waiting for him. Kageyama shuts his eyes but he then only see's an image of Y/L/N laying in the hospital bed. "Ugh." Kageyama angrily ruffles his hair. Guilt has been eating at him during practice. Kageyama noticed Tsukishima and Suga exiting the school entrance that afternoon but didn't think anything of it. The thought of those two visiting Y/L/N only came across his mind halfway through practice.

No way were those two just hanging out after school. Tsukishima made it clear that he's not letting his guard down around Suga the day the three of them ran to the hospital. Kageyama is aware of Tsukishima's feelings towards Y/L/N and he would be lying if he said it didn't bother him. Kageyama shoves his hands into his pockets, his mind disarray from his emotions. He quietly walks home. Thoughts of whether he should go see Y/L/N clouds over his mind.

🏐･ﾟﾟ･｡.

You decide to ignore Kageyama's text. Closing the bedroom door, you're now alone in your room. The faint smell of Tsukishima and Suga lingers. You quietly walk over to your desk and reach over for the photo of Kageyama and you. Kageyama's shy smile stares back at you. Your parents took this photo of the two of you the day you both finished middle school. You graze your fingers over Kageyama's face, a sadness washes over you. Not wanting to wallow in sadness any longer you place the photo back up and head to the bathroom to wash up.

🏐･ﾟﾟ･｡.

After a hot shower, you walk over to your sink. Your eyes stare at the skincare that lays out on the counter. Flicking your eyes up to the mirror you quickly avoid meeting your own reflection. Nervously you raise your fingers to your face, wincing at the pain. "There's no way I'm going to apply my skincare." You murmur to yourself. You decide to dry your hair at least, grabbing the hair dryer from a drawer. Your emotions have calmed down while you quietly dry your hair. But your thoughts is running a marathon when you think back to yesterdays quarrel. You question yourself.

Why'd you let the upperclassman's words bother you so much?

You lower the hair dryer, a sigh escaping your lips. You know exactly why her words bothered you and you know why you're unwilling to meet Tsukishima's feelings. Your phone chimes on the counter of the sink.

You stare at your phone in disbelief. Your body moves on it's own when you flick the hair dryer off, hurrying downstairs. "Y/N?" Your mom calls out to you from the living room. Her head turns to look at you, opening the door. Your mom notices Kageyama standing there and she jabs your dad in the sides. "W-What?!" Dad jumps from your moms pestering fingers. "Look!" She whisper yells. "What's Kageyama doing here?" Dad turns to look at the entrance, raising an eyebrow. "Kageyama..." You whisper out his name, your eyes looking up to him. His piercing blue eyes stares at your damp hair, your bruised face, and then your eyes. He doesn't say a word and you notice his conflicted expression.

You decide to initiate further conversation. "What are you doing here?" You question him. "I wanted to see you." Kageyama says those words confidently. Your breath hitches when you look at Kageyama. The moon shines behind him, casting a shadow over his face. Lowering your head, you nibble your bottom lip. You thought Kageyama didn't want to face you because you figured he felt too guilty. But here he is, telling you the opposite. Kageyama carefully places a hand on the top of your head. "I'm sorry you got hurt because of me." Kageyama whispers. "I wasn't brave enough to stop the situation."

You keep your head down, feeling anxiety crawl through your palm as Kageyama speaks. "I wasn't brave enough to be by your bedside either." Kageyama slowly strokes your head. He bitterly speaks about himself. "I can't wrap my mind around the reasoning you put yourself in these situations because of me Y/N." He pulls his hand away, waiting for you to meet his eyes in response. Nervously, you look up to him. Your entire being vulnerable in front of him. "Isn't it obvious, Kageyama?" Your words tremble as you speak. "There's a small part of me that still loves you."

Kageyama shuts his eyes, not wanting to look at you. Tears slowly drip from your eyes when you watch him shut down from your words. "I don't like it as much as you do Kageyama." You weakly blurt out. "How can I still have feelings for someone who can't protect me?" Your lips tremble and you feel your heart ache. Kageyama hides his face with his hands, frustrated at himself. Here he is again, at your doorstep making you cry.

"I know." Kageyama murmurs. "I know."

You silently stare at Kageyama, the tears staining your cheeks. "I'm not worthy of your love Y/N. I've said that before. Yet, I came running here hoping you'd say you still had feelings for me." Kageyama pauses. "That's selfish of me." Kageyama lowers his hands away from his face to look at you directly. "Y/N there's someone else who deserves your love." Kageyama's voice trembles when he continues to speak. "As much as it pains me to admit it, Tsukishima or Suga are a better fit. So don't ignore their feelings because of the small amount of love you have towards me."

Just then you feel your heart break but also a weight lift off your chest. Kageyama's words seem to ease your pain somewhat. Hearing Kageyama directly tell you to love someone else seems to clear the heartache you've carried. "I hope they'll cherish every little bit of you." Kageyama forces a smile on his pained face. You can't form a response to Kageyama. With shaky eyes you watch Kageyama lower his head to you, he turns his back and dashes away. Your legs give out and you plop yourself onto the floor. You then cry loudly to yourself and your parents hurry to your side.

At this moment you decide to completely let go of Kageyama. No strings attached.