Darkness First

Calm down, breathe and..well shit.

I felt anxiety growing inside me.

I have to get out.

All these nightmares, and now these panic attacks. I swear to god, I'm not ok.

Sweat started to drain down from my forehead and I felt my pulse grow. I started making my way through the crowd. People got off my way and gathered around Maria to see is she okay. I hope she is, but in the other hand, I don't.

I kept walking even though i heard John call for me.

I felt like air was dissapearing. Or just that my lungs couldn't keep the air inside them anymore. My vision is blurred and my head is about to explode. My heart rate is in the ceiling and it feels like my heart tries to escape from my chest and flee.

I rushed trough the doors. I didn't stop there, I kept walking. I feel like if I'd collapse on the ground the panic would kill me. I can't let it take the control of me.

Vision blurred, I kept walking. I didn't know where to go, I just needed to keep my legs moving.

The hallways were empty. Everyone were in their classes. I was alone and that's just good.

***

After walking a while I felt like the panic wouldn't take over me. Unfortunately I was very wrong.

I was in the first floor, that's for sure. The walls were almost black. I don't know why, maybe if there happens something, there will be as dark as possible, and enemy can't keep moving without light.

I leaned back against the wall. I tried to calm down my breath. I counted down to ten, closed my eyes and tried thinking happy thoughts.

I thought about summer. The summer holiday. Me and Frank on a picnic, me playing my guitar and Frank eating the last pieces of pie. The days when everything felt good. No nightmares or anxiousness.

Suddenly I heard someone coming closer. Talking. No, there were more. Maybe two, or three.

I just tried to keep myself quiet. Still breathing quickly and irregularly, keeping my eyes closed.

"What is this? An martial artist, here? Hey girl I think you have got lost."

I kept my eyes shut. I can't open them. I would collapse and I can't do that. I can't. I need to be strong.

"Are you deaf, bitch?"

Be calm.

"She definitely is." some other said.

They laughed.

There were maybe three guys.

"Why she's gasping?"

"Hey tough girl, got kicked off your class, eh?"

More laughing.

I can't keep it in anymore. It's taking the control. I Can't-

Someone kicked my knee, that one what Maria kicked too, and it was very sensitive. Pain ran through my whole leg and I collapsed on the ground. I winced and opened my eyes.

Shit.

Just when tears started to stream down my face a very familiar voice approached.

"And what the hell are you shitheads doing here? Serioysly, don't you have nothing else to do?"

He came closer and I tried to see Frank trough my tears and past these dickheads' legs.

"Please, don't tell me you're bullying Steven again. Just-"

He stopped.

Next I hear a loud punch.

"Ow! What the fuck?! Emo getting wild, huh?! Bring it on! I'm not afraid of y-"

And then I hear the familiar *click*. A gun's safety was turned off.

"Just, not right now. Please. Go away. I hate your face. And I'm not emo. That's so 21st century stuff. And secondly, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BEST FRIEND YOU COCK SUCKING FUCK. AND MAKE SURE THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU EVEN LOOK AT HER. NOW. GO. And take those another fucks with you and have some great threesome."

I saw a hand and a gun pointing at a blonde, tall guy.

Slowly they started to make their way away from me.

I heard them talking to each other quietly.

"Fucking crazy dick."

"I'm glad I'm not in the infantry."

I couldn't do nothing more but cry and gasp for air. I curled up to a ball and heard Frank take a few running steps towards me.

"May, what is going on? Talk to me."

He tried to get me up from the ground but when I tried to stand I just toppled over. I took a few steps and leaned to the wall but my legs failed and I fell over, again.

I just cried. There wasn't so much panic and anxiety anymore. I just cried, but still felt my chest shrank. I sat down.

Frank sat beside me, not saying a word. He doesn't know about my panic attacks that I've been having recently.

He got his arm around me and I naturally leaned my head to his chest. He caressed my back. Making slowly circles and still kept me tightly in a hug.

"Shhh.. It's okay, I'm here."

I kept crying. I couldn't stop it. I was numb. It's like a black energy has taken over my brains and I couldn't decide my movements and actions.

Frank kept talking to me calmly and caressing my back.

After a while, actually about twenty minutes, I found myself breathing correctly. It was over, finally.

I felt my eyes sting when I opened them. They were puffy and definitely red. I got up and sat straight, leaning to the cold wall.

I looked at Frank and he looked at me. He looked very worried and a bit scared too.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I just looked at him.

"You know, you don't have to, but i swear to god that was an panic attack, and you scared the shit out of me."

I looked down to my hands.

"You haven''t had panic attacks before."

No I haven't. And Frank is the only one that knows about my nightmares, too. He's the only one I trust to. He's my best friend and he deserves to know.

I opened my mouth a little but closed it. Frank looked at me concerned. I opened my mouth again.

"This wasn't the first time."

I heard Frank sigh.

"It's happened before. I don't know what causes it. It just happens." I kept talking slowly.

"As I told you in the morning, we had a self-defence test. We have a new student in the class and I had her as an opponent. By the way, there's a war in the east coast, she's an refugee from there-"

Suddenly the big doors opened. People ran out like a bunch of wild animals.

"Frank, what the hell? You need to follow us. We're having an attack." someone shouted.

He was dragged with other people. Suddenly, the whole corridor went dark. All the lights shut off. Then the small red alert lights and siren turned on.

Just like in my nightmares.

Suddenly everything lighted up to me.

We're having an attack.

The war in the east coast.

Some one grapped my hand and I was dragged along with the others.

*****************

I have so much inspiration that I had to update twice.

Now we're getting right to the story!

Hope you like it!