Cupid De Locke | Frerard

[28]

a/n: ok this one was really upsetting (and quite strange) for me to write. i'm so sorry in advance. i've tried to tame it down as much as i can.
btw sorry if this isn't my best chapter, i struggled with this- probably because of the topics mentioned n stuff.

-

Gerard's POV

-

Stepping out of the taxi, I make my way down into hospital entrance and through the eerily empty corridors of the ICU.

Frank, once again, lies motionless on the bed. Asleep. I greet him with an empty smile and take a seat on one of the plastic chairs beside the bed.

"Uh. There's a bit of a problem, at the minute, baby," I say rhetorically, my hands shaking in fear. "They- they're gonna shut off the electricity soon if I don't pay the bills," I huff, pinching the bridge of my nose in resentment.

I haven't eaten properly in days. Everything's falling apart.

"Please wake up."

Quickly, I try to lift the mood a little. "Hey, I was trying to remember some stories about us to tell you. I remembered that one time we went camping in the woods a few months ago. We brought a picnic and a little tent. It was so dark that night. I held onto you the whole time, in fear that a bear would come and eat you." I crack a small smile. It fades almost instantly when I look up at him.

My stomach drops every time my eyes shift towards him. I can't stop thinking about how fucking damaged we're going to be when he wakes up. I don't want him to be in pain. This is my fault.

I can picture everything playing out around me, like the image is burnt into my eyes for me and only me to stare at, probed and tortured by my own mind.

I clutch onto Frank's hand as Ray begins removing some of the IVs from his arms.

"Come on, Frankie. I'm here now. Open your eyes for me." I say, tears of joy beginning to flow.

He looks so desperate to open them.

My heart pounds in my chest like a drum. Frank's waking up. He's finally fucking waking up.

"He'll do it eventually, don't worry." Ray smiles.

Suddenly, his eyes slip completely open. He looks so weak.

"Frankie, baby! O- oh my fucking god, you're finally a-awake..." My voice is shaky. "You did it!"

"Okay, he might not respond at the moment, so let him take his time, alright?"

"Yeah, okay."

I caress his cheek, staring into his hazel eyes, "Hey, Frankie. How're you doing? Does it feel weird having your eyes open now?" I realize how vacant they are; stained with the trauma of the months of deep slumber. There's no spark like there was before.

I watch his head roll to one side after Ray removes the breathing tube from his throat. His eyelids look heavy. He blinks slowly, one eye slightly out of time with the other. His mouth is still parted slightly open from where the tube rested between his lips.

"Hey, hey, hey, baby, look- you can breathe now, right? You're doing it on your own. How does that feel?"

His cheek smushes against the pillow, but not in the cute kind of way, like when he'd curl up to me in bed.
It's just rather fucking sad.

"Frankie, it's me- Gerard. See? Hey, can you breathe okay? I- I wanna make sure you're comfortable." I try and talk to him softly, easing him into this 'new' environment. He doesn't seem to acknowledge me.