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"hey, love, it's me." she kneels down in front of seonghwa's grave, a sad smile gracing her lips as she looked at the flowers yunho had left minutes prior.
the two had decided that they each should get to speak to him alone so he was waiting a few metres away since it was her turn now.
"how are you?" she wanted to slap herself for that because how is he? of course she wouldn't get a response but it felt unsettling if she didn't ask so she did anyway.
"i'm doing pretty good in school, i think. i admit the first few months you left, everything just went downhill. my grades were slipping and no, hwa, it's not your fault." she chuckled lightly, knowing that if he actually were listening, he would be blaming himself. she thought it was because of him that she was the exact same and if she was being honest, she didn't want that to change. it felt like a part of him was still with her.
"yunho has been helping me a lot. he got me out of that state and i realised that he was right, you wouldn't want that. you would want me to keep doing what i do and make you proud, right? well, that's what i'm doing and will keep doing.
"nevertheless, i'm still sorry for everything. you never heard whatever i said about you because i never said them to your face but i said some pretty bad things. and i'm sorry for that because when i made those false assumptions behind your back out of spite, you were hurting all by yourself.
"we made a promise to be there for each other no matter what and i broke that. you could've had me in your darkest days if i had just fought for us. but i didn't. i let you go despite all the signs. and i'm so sorry, love.
"you were the best thing that happened to me and i regret having taken that for granted. i had time but i didn't make use of it and now i'm the one that's filled with remorse in the end. i'm sorry for everything. okay that's about it, i know you wouldn't want me blaming myself for anything so enough of that.
"i just want you to know that you changed my life too. you were such an amazing person, the most beautiful. you had the purest soul out there and you deserved a long life. you deserve to see me walk down the aisle, be the dramatic seonghwa i know and cry when we're finally husband and wife. you deserve to see our children grow up and have their own children. you deserve to grow old with me, like how you said you wanted to. you deserve the whole world, my love. i'm sorry you're not going to experience that.
"i just want you to know that you're the best person i've ever had in my life, don't tell that to yunho though," she giggles through the tears, remembering the tape seonghwa had left for her.
"i love you so much and i'll never forget you. deep down, you're always still in my heart. besides, it'll be hard to move on because you meant the entire universe to me. and you always will. you hold a special place in my heart that will be hard to replace.
"i hope you take care of yourself well. i hope you're watching me and that you're proud of me. i'll come back soon, love."
she wipes the tears away and gets up with a smile, feeling as if a huge weight has been lifted off her chest after finally being able to let her feelings out. she throws one last glance at the grave before turning to leave. yunho gave her a warm smile as she walked up to him before they walked side by side, exiting the cemetery.
seonghwa watched from afar, as spirits of the deceased do. he smiled sadly, a single tear dripping slowly down his cheek, reflecting the soft sunlight —a fraction of the iridescence from the life he had lived. he raised his hand as a bid farewell –despite knowing that they couldn't see him– wishing that they find happiness eventually.
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a/n: and that's it for before you go!! thank you for sticking around, especially sah my bb sweetteez *winkwink* i'm not sure if this book made you cry or not but i hope it did because it was supposed to be angst BWJDHDIW also this book and the song 'before you go' itself holds a special place in my heart because most of the plot of this book is based on my life and the song has everything that i've always wanted to say to my passed loved one that i couldn't put into words (it's not like i can actually say it to him but i'd like to think that i can) so i hope you guys enjoyed this 🥺 thank you for the support!! <333
