when you hurt under the surface like troubled water running cold
well, time can heal but this won't
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"fuck him for pulling that shit on me. i've done so much for him only to find out he never actually loved me? i gave him my heart, yunho! i put my whole heart into the relationship! how could he do me like that? he played me for a year. a whole year! i'm so stupid for believing him. for believing his stupid promises. i should've left him instead of hoping." she scoffed bitterly, shaking her head at her own stupidity.
"is this enough reasons for you, yunho? or do you still think we should continue trying? because if you do, then i'm out. he told me to forget about him, then damn right that's what i'll fucking do. i hope he's happy." she harshly wipes away her tears even though she knew they wouldn't stop falling any time soon.
"shh, it's okay. you'll find someone better, okay?" yunho pulls her close, rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her. he, too, was disappointed in seonghwa. he wanted so badly to think of everything in a positive light but it seems that it's now impossible. he missed his old best friend.
"yunho, how are you okay with this?" she chokes out, still in his embrace. "he's been my best friend since we were kids." he replies in a whisper, trying to not sound so down because he didn't want to seem weak in front of her. but how could he not be when he lost the only person who truly understood him?
she pulls him close, embracing the significantly larger boy into a tight hug. "you don't have to act all tough, yunho. i know you're not okay. you can let it out." she rubs his back comfortingly just as he sighs deeply, crashing down into her inviting arms.
he didn't want to think of the worst but he couldn't help it. he felt even worse now knowing that nothing he had done worked. he would never forgive himself if something were to happen to seonghwa and that he could've done something to prevent it.
but what he didn't know was that nothing he did or would do for seonghwa, could ever help the older.
he changed for the worst, yes he did. but they didn't know why. and he didn't want them to know why.
he had recently found out about a terminal illness he had. and what's worse? the fact that his insides would feel like it was being stabbed continuously so he had to resort to painkillers. but when the pain got unbearable, he would take more doses than recommended. and boy, did he not expect it to have such a discernible effect.
people would think he was high all the time, constantly stumbling here and there, slurring his words whenever he spoke.
he knew what people thought of him. and most importantly, he knew what his best friend and girlfriend were thinking of.
but he didn't want to see how his two favourite people would react to the news. so he pushed them away, for their sake. he kept it to himself, he suffered alone, for them.
because he wasn't worth it. in just a few months, he was going to be gone completely and he didn't want them to be greatly affected by it. call him stupid but he thought that by doing this, they would only have negative emotions towards him and so they wouldn't bother about him anymore.
but they knew him better than he knew himself. but if he wasn't going to tell them what was going on, they wouldn't be able to help, of course.
and so that's how it ended. any kind of relation they had with him, all gone. just like that. as if it never existed. as if it never mattered to him.
