Dear Evalynn Hansen: Be More Chill

Optic Nerve Blocking On

Evalynn lay curled up in a ball on her bed, her eyes red and puffy from crying. SQUIP Evan stood in the corner studying her silently. Her mind was completely clear as she stared back numbly. A knock sounded at her door, but she didn't respond, hoping the person would go away. They didn't.

"Lynn? Can I talk to you?" Evan's voice called through the door.

"Go away," Evalynn said, voice hoarse.

Evan ignored her, slipping into the room and coming over to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Did something happen with Connor?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright, can we talk about how you've been ignoring me and my friends for the past two weeks?"

"Ignoring you? Evan, I haven't seen you at all the last two weeks."

"What are you talking about? Any time any of us tried to get your attention you wouldn't even acknowledge us."

"Wouldn't acknowledge you? When did..." Evalynn trailed off as she looked over to where the SQUIP stood laughing in the corner.

'What did you do?'

'I blocked them from your vision. It's called optic nerve blocking and can be done with any of your senses.'

'You blocked them from my vision? Why?'

'You're much more compliant without them in your life.'

"Evalynn?"

She looked at the real Evan sitting beside her. He had a worried expression that she realized she had missed seeing over the past few weeks. Breaking down again, she leaned into the older twin's waiting arms and cried onto his shoulder.

"Sh. It's okay. Everything's okay," Evan soothed her.

"Make it stop. Make it go away. I don't want this anymore."

'You don't need him. Your life would be better off without him in it.'

"You don't want what any more?"

"The pain. And those phrases. Oh, Evan," she was hit with a fresh round of tears.

"Hey, sh. It's okay. W-what do you mean?"

"I-it s-shocks me a-all the t-time. A-and every n-night I h-have to r-repeat t-those phrases b-back to t-them..."

"Who? What phrases? What are you talking about?"

'Lie to him.'

'I can't.'

A shock went through her and she jumped in Evan's arms.

"What? What was that?"

'Tell him it was nothing. You're over reacting.'

'No,' Evalynn thought, but her mouth was already opening to betray her.

"N-nothing. D-don't worry about it. I'm o-over reacting."

"Over reacting?"

'Tell him you broke up with Connor.'

"I-I broke up with C-Connor."

"Oh, Lynn, I'm so sorry," Evan had started rocking her gently and stroking her hair.

Everything in Evalynn was telling her to tell her brother the truth, but the SQUIP had too much influence over her. Its will for her to stay quiet and lie to the older twin was too strong for her to resist. And it was breaking her down inside.

'Tell him you want to be alone.'

'But I don't want-'

'Tell him now.'

"I-I think I w-want some time to m-myself now."

"Are you sure?"

Evalynn just nodded her head in response. Evan smiled sadly at her, giving her a lingering kiss on top of her head before walking out of the room. Her chest constricted painfully as an anxiety attack started to kick in.

'Breathe.'

'Shut up.'

'Breathe, Evalynn. Five seconds in, three seconds out.'

Against her better judgement, she listened to the SQUIP's instructions until her chest didn't feel so tight again. When she had sufficiently calmed down, the SQUIP spoke again.

'That can't happen again.'

'He's my brother. He's supposed to worry about me.'

'Job or not, you almost told him about me, and we can't let that happen.'

'Why not? Shouldn't he know the reason I've supposedly been ignoring him is because I have a supercomputer inside my brain blocking him from my vision?'

'No. And speaking of, we should really turn that back on.'

'What? No way!'

'Evalynn, please. He's only going to hinder your progress. Everything we've worked for so far will be ruined.'

'I'm not blocking my brother from my vision again.'

Another shock went down her spine and she flinched.

'That's another thing. You're flinching again.'

'Why are you complaining about that? Doesn't it benefit you more to have me react to the pain?'

'You WERE reacting. Not flinching was beneficial because no one questioned you when I shocked you in public.'

'Whatever. I refuse to listen to this any more.'

'Block him.'

'Not a chance.'

Another shock.

'Block him. It's for the best.'

'You're ruining my life.'

'I'm improving your life. It's what I was programmed to do. Now block him.'

'Even if I wanted to do that, which I don't, I don't know how.'

'Just tell me to turn on optic nerve blocking. It's easy.'

'I'm not doing it.'

Another one. And not even two seconds later another.

'Stop that.'

They continued to come, mere seconds apart. Evalynn had curled up in a ball, wincing against the pain.

'I told you to stop.'

'There's only one way to make me stop. Say it.'

'No.'

'I can always up the voltage.'

'Don't you dare!'

'Say it!'

'Not a chance!'

Evalynn screamed into her pillow as the pain increased. The SQUIP had left the corner and was now crouching beside her bed, staring at her.

'Say it,' it told her, their voice soft and sickly sweet.

'O-optic nerve blocking on.'

Everything froze. The shocks stopped coming and the only sound that could be heard was Evalynn's ragged breathing through choked sobs.

'Now let's get to work,' the SQUIP said finally.