Dear Evalynn Hansen: Be More Chill

Dinner

"God, I missed that."

"I know."

Connor and Evalynn lay in his bed, staring at each other. With the SQUIP's help, Evalynn had sweet talked him into having sex again. It really had been a long few months since they broke up after Chloe's party at the beginning of the school year.

"You wanna do it again?"

"You read my mind," Connor smiled, pulling the blanket up over their heads.

"Connor! Get down here now! Mom and Dad will be home any minute!"

"Fuck. Nonononono!" Connor said, words stringing together.

He quickly got out of the bed and started redressing.

"What's wrong? It's just your parents."

Connor froze in the middle of fastening his pants.

"Just my parents? Lynn, they're gonna freak if they find out you're here and not only that, but hanging out in my room alone with me."

"What? Mommy and Daddy don't want their baby boy having sex out of wedlock?" Evalynn teased.

Connor gave her a pointed look, pulling his shirt over his head.

"What? They actually don't want you having sex out of wedlock?"

"They didn't have sex out of wedlock..."

"Oh my God, Connor. Like, seriously, what the Hell?"

"I know! Get dressed fast."

He began throwing articles of clothing at her which she put on as quickly as she could.

"Connor Lawrence Murphy! Get down here now!"

Connor gulped before calling back.

"Just a minute!"

Once both teens looked presentable, they exited Connor's room and hurried downstairs to see three of the four Murphys gathered by the front door.

"Connor. So good of you to finally join us. And you've brought a friend."

"Um, yeah. Mom, Dad, this is Evalynn. She and I were working on a project together for school."

"Nice to meet you," Evalynn greeted them, extending her hand to shake.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Cynthia, this is Larry. Are you staying for dinner?" his mom inquired, taking the proffered hand after her husband.

"Actually, Mom, I was just going to drive her home really quick. Her mom's home from work which is a rare thing for her."

"Well, it's rare for us to be home, too. Come on, it's just one meal."

'Accept her invitation!'

"Actually, that sounds lovely. I'd love to stay for dinner, thank you."

"Perfect. Let me just get something going and we can eat in a few minutes."

Cynthia hurried into the kitchen, Zoe trailing after her to help. Larry, Connor and Evalynn stood around awkwardly.

"Why don't we sit while we wait. I'd like to get to know more about you and this project you're working on with my son."

The three moved to sit in the living room, Connor and Evalynn taking the couch and Larry taking one of the armchairs.

"So this project. What's it for?"

'English.'

"English. It's a book report for class."

"Book report, huh? What book?"

"Be More Chill by Ned Vazzini."

Larry arched an eyebrow as he looked between the two teens. Before he could ask Evalynn another question, Zoe walked in.

"Mom says dinner's ready."

They all migrated to the dining room. Larry and Zoe took either end of the table while Connor sat to Larry's left and Cynthia sat to his right. Evalynn took the empty seat to Connor's left beside Zoe.

"So, Evalynn, have you heard of SQUIPs?"

Connor froze with his fork halfway to his mouth at his dad's words.

"What?"

"SQUIPs. Have you heard of them?"

"Can't say that I have. What are they?"

"In simple terms, it's a supercomputer inside a pill you can take that implants itself in your brain and tells you how to act."

"Tells you how to act? Why would anybody want that?"

"You'd be surprised."

"So you just swallow some pill and it works?"

"Well, you have to have a specific drink to activate it, but yes."

"A specific drink? What?"

Larry shook his head at Evalynn's question.

"I shouldn't tell you that."

"Why not? I don't know how to get my hands on one, and even if I did, I doubt I'd want to get one."

"Fine. You activate them using Mountain Dew."

Evalynn gagged on her drink.

"Mountain Dew? That's disgusting."

"You don't like Mountain Dew?" Connor asked.

"No, I think it's disgusting."

"Well then, I guess we don't have to worry about you getting a SQUIP," Larry chuckled.

"Yeah. No worries there," Evalynn agreed.

"If one had a SQUIP, how would they get rid of it?" Connor inquired.

"Oh, you can't."

"You can't?"

"No. The drink that deactivated them was discontinued in the 1990's, so there's no way to get rid of it once it's activated."

"Can we change the subject, please?" Cynthia asked them.

"Sure thing. So how was school today, Zoe?" Larry inquired.

Dinner continued pleasantly, with no mention of SQUIPS again. Evalynn was painfully aware of Connor's eyes boring into the side of her head the entire time.