Dear Evalynn Hansen: Be More Chill

Confessions

"You don't like Mountain Dew!"

"No."

"But you obviously drank some."

"Yeah, I chugged as much as I could and then threw the rest away."

"You-Seriously?"

Evalynn shrugged, sitting on the edge of Connor's bed. Connor just stared at her incredulously.

"Lynn, why didn't you say anything?"

"You didn't tell me how to activate it, and the guy only gave me instructions after I bought the pill."

Connor pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes shut tight.

"I can't believe this."

"What? What can't you believe?"

"Why'd you do it? If you think Mountain Dew is disgusting, why'd you do it?"

"I don't know. My anxiety was getting worse. The letters to myself weren't helping like my therapist claimed they would. I was feeling so alone. Like no one would notice if I just up and disappeared. Hell, you were there! You saw my letter. It's why you recommended the SQUIP in the first place!"

"Saw your-"

"You know. 'Dear Evalynn Hansen. It turns out today wasn't an amazing day after all. This isn't going to be an amazing week or an amazing year. Because...why would it be?' Need I continue? I memorized the whole thing."

"N-no. I remember it," Connor wouldn't meet her gaze.

'Tell him the truth about your arm.'

"I didn't fall."

"What?"

"Out of the tree. I didn't fall. I let go. That's how messed up I was. I attempted suicide by climbing a tree!"

"Are we confessing things now? Alright, how about this, I had a bottle of pills in my bag and went into the computer planning to kill myself that day. But then you were there, and my SQUIP told me to read your letter on the printer then offer you a SQUIP yourself."

"Discontinued in the 1990s...Michael..."

"What?"

"Your dad said the drink that deactivated SQUIPs was discontinued in the 1990s."

"So what does that have to do with Michael?"

Before Evalynn could respond, a shock stronger than ever before sent her curling up in a ball, screaming at the pain.

"Evalynn!"

She couldn't reply, the pain rendering her dysfunctional. Someone was banging on Connor's door. All Evalynn could hear was the SQUIP's laughter as they up-ed the voltage and continued to shock her.