Bubble Gum Kisses

Kapittel 9

Kapittel 9

Vanessa

I quickly hailed a taxi as soon as I got outside the gates, just as mom told me earlier this morning. Listening to the classic old songs of England Dan and John Ford Coley played by the driver while watching the wondrous view of the rain dripping on the windows, making little tapping sounds like what a kid would make when they tap on glass windows. The trees' leaves were getting blown by the strong wind, the buildings were getting saturated and hastily got crowded by people to get shelter while others who had their umbrellas were walking by the sidewalk with either frothing coffee or a bag in their hand.

I wasn't able to admire it much though, because my mind was busy thinking of what I had seen earlier. I couldn't get it off my head. Was that really Friso or just a figment of my imagination? But I wonder, why did I feel a little pinch in my chest when I recognized it was Friso? I mean, I believe I had already moved on from our unclear breakup, I just needed a proper closure. Or what if I thought I'd moved on? What if I did move on but I still couldn't my feelings off of him? The wounds that I've worked to stitch together and heal were hastily starting to open fresh and bleed all over again.

The taxi's aircon wasn't much cold but my hands were gelid, soaking in sweat and shaking. I stared at the familiar view outside, excited to return home and sort my feelings seriously since I couldn't think straight when I was in an uncanny place. Thinking about the old pain I've experienced with my ex-flame made me regret that we moved back. Maybe we shouldn't have moved back at all, but it wouldn't happen anyway if only the accident didn't happen. If dad hadn't died and was still alive right now if only I had done anything to sa—

"Miss? We're here." I gasped when I heard the driver suddenly speak, pulling me away from my reverie. I stared at him in awe, my mind blank and my heart beating fast.

"You aight?" he asked me that brought me to my senses and made me realize that I was holding my head tightly with my hands, my nails digging in my scalp deeply that a lingering stinging sensation vibrated throughout the spots where I dug my nails on. I immediately grabbed my bag to my lap to find my wallet and answered that I was fine as I grabbed my pay and then offered it to him. I immediately left the taxi as soon as my change was given, good thing the rain was already over when I arrived since I wasn't able to pack an umbrella in my bag.

"Hey!" a sudden call went through my ears and I automatically turned my head to see where the call came from. It was from the taxi driver. He was staring at me deeply as if he was looking into my soul with his unfazed, calculating eyes. "You know that the suicide hotline's always a call away, right?" he then asked which stunned me. That was an unexpected question, I thought.

"Y-Yeah," I answered stiffly with a small nod.

"That's good." The driver sighed and then put both of his hands on the steering wheel before speaking again. "Don't waste your time moping or end your life just because you think you've done something wrong." After that, he drove off at full speed, rendering the wet, dead leaves on the sodden ground to create small crunching sounds, leaving me dazed.

I stared at the empty road where the taxi parked before leaving, thinking about the driver. He probably thought that I was depressed and suicidal. He was not wrong though, I'd been depressed after the accident, and thoughts of killing myself were constant out of gui— gosh, what am I thinking?! Why am I remembering those days?!

I slapped my cheeks with my hands simultaneously, blinking my eyes twice as fear began creeping to my knees. My thoughts were beginning to go dark again. I shouldn't let that happen. No. My family, friends, and therapist's hard work would all go to waste if I don't stop thinking about them.