If the host club was real

The physical exams

So Addie and I walk through the hall. She turn to me and said, "Hey Samantha! I was thinking, we've been going to the host club a lot lately so maybe we should just go outside and enjoy the beauty of nature."

"Hmm this is suspicious. You always want to go to the host club. But for some reason I'm going to trust you! Probably because we're such good friends." I tells her.

We walk to this garden. Addie opens the doors and you guessed it the host club is there! In waiter uniforms no less. They do they're little welcome bit and I say NOPE! "NOPE! Nope nope nope!" I turn around but Addie grabs me by my collar and forces me inside. Don't I have such a great friend. Anyway I walk around, occasionally talk with Haruhi and I try not to look at Tamaki.

"Hey did something happen between you and Tamaki-senpai?" Haruhi asks me.

"What do you mean?" I ask her

"All last week the Twins dragged you in by your feet while you clawed at the ground screaming noooo! I even had to come get you from the bathroom the other day. And when ever you and Tamaki look at each other your faces flush red."

Addie overhears is and says "Oh that's because-" I cut her off by shouting "ADDIE NO!" At the top of my lungs and tackle her.

Just then Kyoya pulls out these books of the host club. I got over to him and say "Yo Kyoya can I see one of those?"

"Of course." He says and hands me the book with Tamaki's photos, that jerk. "These Photos are shit!"

Kyoya looks annoyed. "Well they were taken with hidden cameras." He says.

"Dude. If you want I can take photos. Back in the states Addie's cousin Christina taught me how to use a camera. I can totally take some photos for you guys."

The twins pull me aside and ask me in unison "What elective course will you be taking this semester?"

"Mythology." I reply

"I'll be taking singing!" Addie shouts in our direction. Ugh. I think to myself.

~time skip~

So Addie dragged me to the host club by my feet. And when she opens the door Tamaki yells to Haruhi "Are you saying that you hate being a host? That you hate this club?"

And she reply's "Well, to be honest, I'd have to say yes."

"YO! SAME GIRL! I don't want to be here but Addie drags me here!" I shout to her.

"It's not that bad." Addie says to me.

"Yes it is, yes it is." I tell her.

Then we hear Mori say "Fancy tuna."

Really?! Really?! Haruhi would never sell out for fancy tuna! I think to myself. And then she says "What are you guys talking about? Don't be silly! Just cause I'm poor and I've never had it doesn't mean that I'm so much of a glutton I'd go on fooling everyone about my gender just to try some fancy tuna." See! I think to myself. But the she says "Am I really gonna get to try it?"

"Wait a minute! We know what Haruhi wants but what if I tell everyone?" I chirp in

"Yeah me too!" Addie says.

"We'll give you anything under 50,000 yen." Kyoya says.

"A fun day with the host club where we go shopping for a body pillow of Ayame, I want clothes similar to my own (white button shirt, black tie, white stalkings, a short black skirt (not one to show off my butt), and black knee high boots), posters, and a few cosplay outfits." Addie says.

"50,000 yen. That's like 500$. I don't know! Can I just have the 50,000 yen?"

"Sure." The hosts say in unison.

~the next day~

"What's with this formation A thing? What do they do during physical exams here at Ouran?" Haruhi asks.

"It's no different than a physical exam in any other school." Hikaru says.

"I don't believe that for a second." I mumble.

"Why would a physical exam be any different just because we're rich?" Kaoru asks.

"Because you guys think that you're better than everyone else." I tell them.

"She has a point!" Addie chirps in.

The door opens and a row of nurses and doctors lining a red carpet.

"I knew it." I say.

"But, what is this?" Haruhi asks.

"Just another physical exam." Hikaru says.

"The usual." Kaoru says.

"The usual?" Haruhi question.

"This is not usual." I say.

"No it really isn't." Addie says next to me.

I follow haruhi and Addie put on a nurse outfit and held Mori's hand. Why! Why is this my life? What did I do to deserve this? Any other girl would love to be here! So why me? Seriously! I don't mind giving any other girl this chance! I think to myself.

"Disguises make our operation feel like a real espionage mission." Kyoya says from behind me.

What is my life? Mom I'll never admit this to you but you were right when you wanted to keep me in the states. Japan is a mess. At least they have good food here. Dad why couldn't you protest to the idea? I think to myself.

"You know Addie my mom didn't want me to go to Ouran. My dad did. but I can't understand why." I tell her.

"My parents wanted me to come." She tells me

"Mr. Fukjioka, are you ready to be measured now?" One of the nurses says and I turn and walk away from Haruhi's dressing room, because I don't want to be a part of this 'operation' that the host club has cooked up.

"Miss Thompson, please come with me so I can measure your height and weight." One of the nurses says. "Miss Stewart you are also needed for your height and weight measurements."

~time skip~

I'm finished with my physical exams and so is Addie. So the the hosts Addie and I are going to check on Haruhi. All of a sudden this girl is talking about a pervert doctor. Then Kyoya says he saw the guy and didn't do anything about it. And the perv went to the special boys clinic.

"HARUHI!" The hosts shout! Then the eight of us rush off to protect Haruhi. We get there they do some dumb speech and I say "Are you guys superheroes now? Is that a side job you all do?"

~time skip~

Long story short the guy had the wrong place. He was trying to find his daughter. And Tamaki gave him direction to the correct Highschool and we called it a day.

Bye.