If the host club was real

Lobelia? And the... Zuka... Club?

So there's a fair going on and the twins sent Addie and Haruhi out to get instant coffee. Well they sent Haruhi out but Addie decided to tag along. This is good for me because I don't want to go to the host club today. Or any day.

I'm enjoying the gardens when I suddenly see Addie and Haruhi are back. Haruhi slips and a woman catches her and knows she's a girl! Well I'm gonna go tell the hosts. Hey everyone knew I was gonna end up there one way or another.

As I run down the halls of Ouran you may be asking yourself 'why didn't you just go home?' Well Ouran is holding an exposition for the cultural clubs. Which means there's gonna be drama club performances which I love, and concerts which I also love and expos usually have food! Which I love.

Anyway I get to the club panting and out of breath and see these two girls in the same uniform the lady with Haruhi was wearing. They open the club doors and... I just remembered why I didn't want to be here. The hosts are wearing knights armor.

Well the girls are rude for a bit then Haruhi and Addie walk in with that lady. She spins Haruhi around whole saying all this weird stuff. Then Tamaki tries to get Haruhi away from these girls but the tallest punches Tamaki.

"Hey! You only get to punch bad people! And Tamaki is a good person!" I yell at her.

She ignores me and calls the hosts punks. Kyoya points out the uniforms and says they're from Lobelia. The tallest says he's right and they toss there uniforms of but underneath they each have different outfits.

The tallest has a purple suit. The second tallest has a blue ball dress. And the shortest has a pink ballet dress. They explained who they were. The tallest two were sophomores or second year students was how they said it. The shortest was a freshman or first year student was how she said it. The tallest girl is Benio Amakusa. The other sophomore was Chizuraru Maihara. The freshman was Hinako Tsuwabuki.

"We are..." Benio says. And they throw of those formal outfits too.

"The Zuka Club!" The three say in unison now with outfits I don't know how to describe.

Tamaki is confused and faints. The twins start laughing.

"How did you three not get heat stroke from wearing these outfits under your formal outfits which were under your uniforms?" I wonder to myself.

"Don't underestimate the Zuka club!" Renge says as she comes up on her platform. She explains the Zuka club. Then the Zuka club explain what they stand for.

"Wait a minute! Saint Lobelia? Any school with Saint in it is a Catholic school! And I'm Catholic so I can tell you there is no way a Catholic school would ever allow a club to believe one gender is better than the other! This is Bullshit! BULL! SHIT!" I yell at them.

The host are bored. Hikaru is playing a game. Kaoru is looking through the bag with the instant coffee Haruhi gave them. Mori is practicing kendo moves with a sword. And Kyoya is reading a book.

"Hey Sammie-Chan? Is everything okay? Not to long ago you apologized when Tama-Chan was yelling at you and now you're sticking up for him?" He asks.

"I... I'm fine." I tell him.

"It's cause Sammie LI-" Addie begins but I interrupted her.

"SHUT IT ADDIE!"

"Aww come on when are you gonna-"

"I SAID SHUT IT!"

"Ugh to think they're dragging these sweet young women down with them." Benio says. Then she calls Tamaki a halfer and insults the rest of the club. Then the Zuka club has on these orange versions of the... German solder uniforms used in... world war 2.

(A/n: You know what I mean)

Then I notice Tamaki is taking a nap.

"Tamaki you are embarrassing the club." I say through gritted teeth.

"Shh it's his nap time." Addie says.

"What the fuck Addie?" I say not really meaning it to be a question.

Tamaki wakes up and tells them "You girls have it all wrong! Don't you see there's nothing to be gained in a romantic relationship between two women?! If that were the case then why did God create Adam and Eve?!"

He slips and burns his finger on tea Haruhi made. She puts a bandage on his finger and he thanks her.

"Tamaki I do like how you kind of quoted the Bible by using Adam and Eve but I do have to call you out for being a hypocrite since the twins are homosexuals and what they do is incest." I tell him.

"You guys know I'm Bi right? Also either the twins are Bi because they both like Haruhi or the incest act is just that, an act." Addie says.

"Now that we know what's going on we can't let these women stay here!" Benio shouts. "We'll prepare there paper work and have them transfer there immediately!"

"Um excuse you I happen to be the host clubs photographer. They pay me and everything. I may not understand anything that happens here, like people slipping on random banana peels or the hosts cosplaying, but I understand loyalty! I will not leave Ouran!" I say.

"I can't leave Mori! I don't know what I would do without him." Addie says.

"Okay everyone calm down, there have been some misunderstandings here. First of all you called Senpai a halfer." Haruhi says.

"He is a halfer! Half French half Japanese!" Honey says.

"Oh so now we're picking on Nationality? Guess what I have German ancestors and I don't appreciate you three mocking the past of the country!" I shout at them.

"Calm down Sammie, no need yell. You can scream later." Addie says.

Haruhi defends them for a bit then Kyoya tells her they sold her mechanical pencil on the internet. When Tamaki offers her his teddy bear pencil I say "I'll take it. I need all the pencils I can get because I loose them very easily."

The Zuka club leaves . Haruhi looks mad. And Kyoya whispers "Take a few photos." And I take a few photos.

~time skip~

So the hosts asked Addie and I to follow the Zuka club around for a bit and then meet back up with Haruhi.

"So do you think Mori got the box of chocolates I sent him?" Addie asks giddy as I roll my eyes.

"Oh Haruhi! Thank goodness you are here! Like really. Thank you for being right here at this exact spot." I tell her. Then the Zuka club walks us over to music room #3 and we open the door but it's dark. I pull out my phone so I can video this shit. Some serious shit is about to go down and I want to be front and center filming this.

~time skip~

"The hosts were dressed as girls!" I tell Haruhi's father.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Dresses! Makeup! Except Mori! But he was in a Blue Suit!" Addie exclaims.

"So interesting."

"Yeah well I'll see you two in the morning." Haruhi says to us.

"Good night!" We say in unison.

Wow. I'm sorry it's been so long. Next chapter will come sooner I promise. For now so sorry. Bye