losing

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today we were performing not knowing it was gonna be our last time on the x-factor. we became really big these past few weeks. having fans all over the world. we decided to perform 'torn'.

~time skip~
we stood on the stage with simon. i held zayn's hand. he squeezed my hand and i smiled up at him. "and your winner is" the announcer trailed off for the suspense. "rebecca" he announced. we placed third. i look up at zayn and he just hugs me. "this isnt the end of one direction!" zayn said into the mic and we left to go home.

~time skip a couple of weeks later~

we were having a little get together with our family so liam and i decided to invite the boys and the boys' family as well.

once the boys arrived i instantly ran up to zayn and jumped into his arms wrapping my legs around his waist. he holds me as we hug not pulling away. "i missed you so much" i muffled into his hoodie since it was october. "i missed you more" he responded with and i laughed. "not even"

i pulled back to look at his face. we stared at each other and the other boys just looked at us. "i feel like i havent seen your face in so long" i said laughing. he laughed along and hugged me again still holding me up.

louis coughed and niall hit him on the chest as if to say 'dont ruin the moment'. i pulled my head off of zayn's shoulder and look at louis. "can i help you?" i laughed unwrapping my legs off of zayn's waist.

"where is my hug like that!" louis screeches. "okay go far and then i run and you catch me." i said. louis runs far and spreads his arms. i run and he catches me. i wrap my legs around his waist.

i bury my head in his shoulder. "youre such a dork but i missed you" i muffled. "i missed you too love" he said. he starts walking towards the group. "okay okay get down youre heavy" louis says playfully.

"who else wants a hug like that?" i ask. harry immediately raises his hand. harry catches me after i run up to him. he pretends to drop me and i squeal. "stop harry!" i yelled. he laughs and takes me back to the group. i jump down and move my bidy towards niall's.

"you want one too?" i ask. he hesitates before nodding his head. he catches me and we laugh. "i missed you ni" i said. "i missed you too darling" he responds with. after so many hugs we make it to the backyard.

"you kids wanna jump on the trampoline?" mom asks. we nod and run to trampoline. zayn helps me up and i blush so hard. "you need help?" i ask him. "its okay love. i can get up" he says and gets on the trampoline.

our parents and siblings watch from afar. zayn and i holding hands on the trampoline and see my sister; ruth smiling at us. i blush and turn around to see zayn staring at me. he moves a piece of hair behind my ear and he smiles.

liam coughs and we laugh. "i want a hug lia!" louis yells. i laugh and nod my head and spread my arms open. louis tackles me and we both fall on the floor. louis breaking my fall.

"are you okay louis" i said bursting out laughing. "im fine love. are you okay?" he asks. i nod and then help him up. "louis please be careful" his mom; johannah says. louis nods and jumps back up on the trampoline.

instead of getting back up on the trampoline i head towards my mom. "mom i need boy advice" i told her. mom calls all of the moms and sisters. i face palm and we all sit down.

"who is the boy?" anne; harry's mom, asks. "well..." i trail off. "uhm he is really sweet-" i started saying getting cut off. "its zayn" gemma; harrys older sister; says. i look shocked.

"its obvious" she says. "okay i like zayn" i said. zayns mom looks at me and i start feeling nervous. then she smiles. a sad one?

"honey" his mom starts. oh no. "he uhm. he is talking to someone right now" she finishes. i look off into the distance. "oh" my voice cracked. "im sorry honey" his sister; doniya says. she pulls me into a hug to which i gladly return.

"im gonna go to my room" i announced and thanked them and walked inside. why am i so stupid? embarrassing myself in front of his mom and sisters. i walked to my room and closed the door.

i threw on a random hoodie that i found. zayn's hoodie. i examined it and it didnt feel right. i took it off and put on niall's. i have a hoodie from each of the boys.

i look at zayn's hoodie and decided to give it back to him. it doesnt belong to me. i was still in my leggings and black socks along with niall's hoodie. i walked out wiped my tears and walked outside with the hoodie in my hands.

i stepped outside and everyone looks at me. "everything okay sweetie?" my dad asks me after looking at the hoodie in my hands. i nod and head towards the trampoline feeling their eyes on me. louis jumps off and runs towards me hugging me. i hug him back. he lets go.

"what was that for?" i ask. "you seem down" louis shrugs. i smile showing im not. i head towards the trampoline and hop on. "uhm zayn?" i say getting his attention. i motion the hoodie in his direction. he looks at it. he pushes it towards my arms. "its yours love. i gave it to you remember" he says. i shake my head. "i dont want it anymore" i said and the boys looked at me as if i was crazy.

"love are you sure?" zayn asks. i nod my head and he takes it in his hands. i get off and head back into the house. i walk to the front door and sit on the porch swing.

i sigh and look at the sun. who could he be talking to? i heard the door and i turned to see my dad. "hey li" he says. "hey" i said. he sat down next to me and hugged me. "whats wrong?" he asks. i sigh and explain. "its okay honey" he says.

we walk to the back door and we join everyone at the table. we ate and the adults talked while we sat on the trampoline. our other siblings were talking in chairs somewhere else. we layed down our heads touching and in a circle.

i sigh. "hey lia what are you planning for your 16?" harry asks. "i honestly dont know" i said. "you arent gonna have a sweet 16?" louis asked. i shrugged. louis sit up. "but 16 is the most important age!" he said. "and why is that lou?" i ask while sitting up. "you are becoming a women. youre growing. youre gonna be 16 in less than a month" he said grabbing my shoulders. i smiled.

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