Heart Torment

06

Chapter 06's song is "Be My Baby" by queen, Ariana Grande. Love you all very dearly and don't forget to vote if you're enjoying it and leave a comment of what you think ;) lots of love until Wednesday - Liv❤

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*Olivia's P.O.V*

My head is killing me and my eyes are half asleep. The main majority of my body is cold and numb. And there is a recognized face by my side. It's Alessia. She's smiling down at me kindly with a reassuring touch. Fuck. Where am I? Why do I hurt so much?

"You need to sleep. You deserve to rest and grieve. What's happened is not something you're going to find easy." She whispers chastely, her voice hoarse and rough like she's gotten barely any rest.

"Grieve... why on earth would I need to grieve?" My brain panics and my heart breaks. Whose died? Oh crap! Is it Jamie? Has he died? Tell me it's not Jamie! Is April alright? Fuck.

She takes a deep breath and then my hand, squeezing it tightly. Her eyes looking straight into mine. "Liv, you've erm... you've had a.." Alessia stops knowing I'm not going to like the rest of her horrible answer. "A miscarriage. All of the alcohol you've been drinking recently, and all of the climbing and walking, and stress. You'be barely been eating and it just became very ill and weak inside of your womb from the lack of rest and just slowly died. I say "it", but "it" would've been a baby boy. I'm so very sorry." I take a breath and let the tears pour out like my eyes are clouds on a stormy day.

"My baby... has died?" I say, my voice shaking like mad due to all of the crying.
"Wh- where's Jamie. I need Jamie. Has he visited?" I croak, finding it difficult to breathe.

"Please, Olivia. Just relax. Get some rest." Alessia coos, squeezing my hand harder.

"Alessia, my baby has fucking died. I can't just relax! Answer my question. Has he visited?"

"Yes. He was with you since you came out of theatre last night."

"They operated?... oh god. God no." I close my eyes and shake my head. I was never going to get an abortion, even if Jack didn't approve. I was going to have a baby, but now he's dead. My baby has died.

I slowly nod my head and look over to my left, and see my little girl asleep on the tall, green arm chair. Her fragile body curled up in a ball with her knees showing from her ripped jeans. "How long have you been here?" I look back at Matthew's beautiful girlfriend, with blurry vision and hit and miss breathing. Breathe Smith, it'll be okay.

"Since four this morning. She couldn't sleep so I brought her here to see you. Matt would have, but he has work this morning." She sighs sarcastically, causing me to cry even more. Calm down, stop crying. You've got this- no! My baby has just died. I'm not okay.

"Can I come in?" Jamie appears at the door looking rough and warn down. He's in a pair of navy jeans and a blue T-shirt with a leather jacket on top, and a pair of casual trainers on his feet.

"M-my baby has died. My baby is dead.." I sob heavily. Jamie quickly comes to my side and craddles me hard yet soft. Fuck, I want to die so badly much now.

"Look after yourself. April needs you to keep strong." She stands before going over to my little angel girl and picking her up and leaving the dreaded hospital room. No, I can't keep strong. Yes- you can! No! April deserves a better mother, who doesnt just walk out when things get hard.

"Bloody hell. How am I meant to pay for the operation? I've lost my baby, and now I can't afford to pay for the operation that removed him from my body." My body shakes as the thought comes to mind. Fuck.

"Hey just breathe. You've got this. The last thing you need is to be worrying about expenses." He coos; his hand running through my notted hair, as I struggle to breathe.

"I- I... Jamie, I can't."

"Liv, I'm so sorry that what happened did. I know you hurt, but it'll be okay. You can do this." His eyes are warm, worried and worn down. His lips then gently press against my cheek. Please let me wake up from this nightmare.

"But what if I don't have this, Jamie? You know I give up so easily. And I nearly lost you and... and. I don't wanna do this anymore, I don't want to hurt."

"And you don't have to hurt, Olivia. You can get support, like always. There are people who are here to help. I'm here to help. I know it hurts right now, but others have been through the same situation, that you are going through now. People have come out alive from this. I can't imagine what it's like to lose your baby, but I can imagine that your heart is truly broken.
I know I was fully against you being pregnant at first, but then I saw how much you wanted this baby." He breathes, and lifts my head softly.
"I'm so sorry, Liv." Oh Jamie, why are you so amazing?

Crying against his chest, I mumble: "t-thank you," Damn this is painful. My eyes start to slowly drift shut, before I start to splutter all over the place from breathing difficulties. Cough after cough. Jamie gently moving me so I'm sitting up straight, before stroking my back. "It's okay, just breathe." He then moves and grabs me a cup of water.

He turns to me slowly and holds the back of my head with one hand, before pouring the refreshing liquid down my throat gently, and avoiding the possibility of making me choke. "Thank you." A weak smile forms on my lips.

"You're welcome, now please rest." James puts the cup down on the table besides my bed, and then gets back ontop of the hospital bed. His body shifting, causing mine to lay ontop of his. His hands stroking my back and soothing me to sleep.