Heart Torment

10

Hey hey!! I thought I owed you guys an update so here we go!! This chapter's song recommendation is "Undiscovered" By Lauren Welsh. And yes I'm fully aware it's on the Fifty Shades Of Grey soundtrack, but it's a very good song!! Lots and lots and lots of love!!❤

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*Jamie's P.O.V*

"You're such a hypocrite! I can't even believe you right now." Liv shouts the following morning after the night before and after I have presented my idea to her. "Do you think nobody would notice or something?"

"No, but it's what we both want and need right now; For God's sake!" I Pull her closer to me and over the table in anger and utter rage from the fact that she is being two-faced.

"James, let go." She pulls back calmly before running her long matte grey nails through her bright blue hair. "I just don't know. You're simply just the biggest hypocrite to walk this earth right now." She shakes her head in frustration before looking left and smiling at Taylor as he holds baby Dulcie and talks to Dakota about something or rather.

"It takes a hypocrite to be a hypocrite." I shout before gritting my white teeth at Taylor and Dakota as they just heard me shout and looked over. "Listen here, you're a hypocrite too. You're the one who tells me off for flirting with you before doing the exact same thing and jumping straight into bed with me." I slam my hand on the table hard.

"What happened last night happened because you let me believe you wanted and loved me. Yes I went for alcohol at the first sign of trouble, and I'm sorry for that, but none of what happened last night was actually my fault. I thought I made it pretty clear to Jack that I wanted nothing to do with him. This is all Amelia's fault and we both know it." Olivia shivers at the thought of Jack seeing her last night.

"Maybe she did tell Jack where we were. It doesn't mean you can blame her for your behaviour though, and for you going of the rails for the billionth time this year. You're twenty-nine, Liv. Not seventeen. You have to learn to face your problems like any other person would." I look down and sigh, disappointed with her once again.

"It's my coping method. It's how I recover. I feel pain and drink it away before carrying on with my life until it happens again and again!" She defends herself in front of me so she looks strong.

"It's not a coping method, its an addiction. You're an alcoholic for fucks sake!" I shout. She stops. She stops breathing and her jaw drops. She's outraged.

 "I just don't know who you are anymore. One minute you're shouting at me and Amelia, and the next we're making love and you're defending her. I don't know if you're Jamie or Fifty anymore." Olivia then stands up, picks up her mobile and tries to walk away.

"You can talk. I don't know if you're Liv or Olivia anymore. One minute you're happy, giggly, hot, and sweet Liv. The next minute you're pissed, depressed, and hypocritical Olivia." I pull on her wrist and try to make her look up at me; she doesn't. She just places her mobile in her pocket and loosens my hand around my wrist before kissing my cheek, and walking off in a sign of defeat yet she's doing it as she loves me and cares for me.

"You didn't answer if the plan was going to go ahead, Liv?" I call out to her helplessly looking for an answer and a voice.

"I'm not Liv. I'm Olivia. And let me know when you're life truly screws you over and then I shall consider packing up and running to a new world with you." She shouts back, not turning her head, yet I can tell that she just winked.

"You'll always be my Liv. That will never change." I reassure myself for the hundredth time in the twelve years I've known her.

"And you're still my best friend from Ireland, Jamie Dornan. But the thing is, you have a dark Fifty inside your gut that I'm not particularly fond of.. well maybe I am... you know what I mean." She turns and rolls her eyes, placing her phone back in her pocket after using it for it's desired purpose of communication. She then ignores Taylor's and Dakota's glare and struts up to me, kissing me with no hesitation. "I still want us to work out," she breathes and resumes the kiss, her ams snaking around my neck and into my hair, "Even if you are Fifty shades of confusing and an annoying actor being someone he truly isn't." She bites my lip and pulls away and hugs me ever so tightly, my body feeling the love and her need of having me in her life still.

"And they will do one way or another, even if we're not a couple, I'm always going to be here as a friend, you know that." I hug her back and rest my chin on her shoulder; my palms on her lower back. I then have the sense of living my life without her and what would happen if we were together... it would be great... surely?

She pulls away and nods her head, her thumb tracing over my cheek.. she says nothing but a "hmm", her body moving away from mine and making me feel lost for the hundredth time in my entire life.

*This isn't goodbye, Dornan. It's just a 'See ya later, alligator'. I'm not leaving you that easily; you can dream on. I know you still want me, well you did last night anyway;) And I'll always be your Liv!!! :)* Smith texts me after leaving the hotel lobby and going out onto the crowded Fifty Shades set once more.

"Where's she going, sir?" Taylor startles me from behind with curiosity.

"She's going to her rehearsal for her book conference tomorrow. You probably ought to go. No spoilers though!" I joke and laugh slightly. His face is still completely blank with no emotion.

"Yes, James sir." He nods and hands me Dulcie's pram so he can go and find Olivia out on the crowded set and drive her to her needed destination.