Dissapointment

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"She cheated me". I laughed coldly at my thoughts. Jess cheated me. She cheated on me with a guy who isn't even good looking. I'm not the type of person that judges people based on looks but come on, I had to save my self-esteem, if not for others comfort, then for my comfort. I wasn't expecting this but damn, am I not surprised. I didn't think that I wasn't enough but I thought of why did I waste my time. I could have done something meaningful instead of saying "I love you" and those other bullshit lovey-dovey words to you. And to think of it, I was actually planning on telling the whole wide world that we were together. But instead you turned out a freaking cheat. I'm not hurt just yet because I didn't develope feelings for you then even tho I said "I love you" to you. I guess I said that since I didn't want anyone to talk you way from me. But now that I see it, I shouldn't have wasted my "I love you" for you. My thoughts were controlling my now. Omg brain just shut the heck up.

Now seeing my relationship that I had with you, I see all my others mistakes and regrets with all my other exs. Some of which I could redo, some of which I could erase. I actually hate falling in love like who knows if you're going to get hurt or not. It's like a game. Its such a fu....

*Buzz

BESTFRIEND❤ : Hey, wanna hang? I miss you even tho we talk almost everyday ;) Hahah

ME : Sorry can't :/ studying. Exams soon. You should also be studying :)

I put my phone down and kept on thinking. Wait, why did I say studying when all I am going to do today is be a lazy potato? Maybe it's because I don't really feel like going out and seeing my bestfriend, because if I see her, she'll know I'm broken. And I don't want anyone to see my broken soul, Nobody likes a sad person.

*Buzz

I sighed and picked up the phone.

2 new unread messages.

One was from BESTFRIEND❤ and the other was from.... my ex, oh gosh why the heck now? Ugh. Lets get this over with.

Message 1:

BESTFRIEND❤ : Kfine, I'll study later omg. Ew. Studying is ew. Haha okay :/ we'll hang another day.

ME : :) thankyouu

Message 2:

Allison : Hey, are you ok? :0

ME : Yea, I'm fine, why ?

Allison : No you're not. I've seen your instagram. What happened? You wanna talk abt it? :)

ME : Not really because it's nothing important :)

After that, I strictly turned off my phone. I really didn't wanna talk to anyone. And before Jess confirmed that she cheated me, I wasn't feeling very well so I did what I also do when I don't feel good. I log on to my instagram account; bullshitemotionsblog. And post my lasted feeling in a form of a quote. Ugh. I can't handle this amymore. I glanced at the clock; 5pm. I didn't care if it was still early, I'm going to bed.

I jumped in bed. Looked at the ceiling for a while and doozed off suddenly.

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