how did my life come to this? - ninjago au

...Let's Not Forget The Proposal...

"Babe! You'll never guess what happened! A cake flew out the window and messed up my hair and-...yes you can hang up now."

Kai huffed as he put his phone away and entered the salon. A girl with bright pink hair sprinted up excitedly, "Guess what? There was this perp being chased by a cop, and Cole and I pursued him, on foot for the cop. Ran 4 miles down, through a warehouse, Cole proposed, we chased him downtown, and finally cornered him in an alley. Sick, right?"

The porcupine head blinked, "Hold up, what?"

"We cornered him in an alley-"

"No, not that. Cole proposed?"

"Yep. It was pretty magical."

FLASHBACK

Cole looked around, "He must have gone to the Hidden Alley."

Seliel nodded, "Okay. You go this way, I'll go the opposite way, we meet in the middle, cut him off."

"Got it." Just as they were about to run, Cole stopped, "Wait."

"Yeah?"

"You wanna get married?"

"Sure." They sprinted off in opposite directions.

END FLASHBACK

Kai grinned, forgetting the cake in his hair, "So, when's the wedding?"

"Next week."

"SAY WHAT?!"

Ali: And I thought Lloyd and Akita's decision was impulse! Speaking of which...

Lloyd buried his head in his hands.

"Oof, day drinking? That's bad, bud, even for you." he looked up to see Jay and Nya staring at him confusedly.

"I'm expressing my emotions to Ronin. My lawyer said I should do that. Because I'M NEVER GONNA HAVE KIDS!" He wailed.

"Uh...am I missing something?" Jay asked.

"After my marriage, Akita made me get a vasectomy. I can't withdraw any...you know what because the account's under her name. And she gets the final say. How did my life come to this?"

"You made an impulse decision to get hitched?"

"Not. Helping. Jay!"

"Well...you could talk to her." Nya suggested, neatening out her best friend's hair. She gave a confused glance at the bottle of green juice in front of him.

"I did. She wants me to agree to the terms and conditions of the divorce and then she'll consider it."

"But it's your sperm! You should have final say!" Jay yelped, attracting a lot of attention. He blushed, and gave an embarrassed wave.

"You could adopt...or wait it out until you find someone..." Nya suggested, "And maybe decide to wait, instead of making an impulse decision."

"True. Should I try Tinder?"

Jay blinked, "No, have you heard the stories of all the perverts that lurk on that app?"

Nya grabbed his arm and pulled him up, "Okay, you are gonna have a sit-down meeting with her and kindly request to have your-"

"Magic powers?"