CAMERAMAN// CHANLIX AU

🌸10🌸

Chan was up at 3 am, not a surprise, he was stressed. About everything that's going on in his life, Chan is supposed to be writing lyrics for 3RACHAS new song. He hasn't wrote one thing yet, he's never had this much trouble before. It's because of all the things on his mind.

Disappointment
Stupid
Used
Ignorant
Ugly
Felix

Felix, the boy that's been in his mind for the past 2 days, Chan swore he wouldn't love anyone. A guy? No way, what would his family think, and his company as well. Chan was never the one to cry, but there he was crying in his hands, trying to let out quiet sobs. The lights then turned on.

"Chan?" Jisungs voice echoed throughout the walls. Chan tried to quickly wipe away his tears, not wanting his other member to see him in distress. It was too late.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jisung quickly rushes to Chan's side.

"I'm fine jisung." He mentally swore at himself for his voice crack.

"Chan.. please talk to me. You haven't been yourself these past few days, I've been worried about you." Jisung pulls a chair next to Chan. Has he been that obvious.

"There's just been a lot on my mind, but I'm seriously fine."

"Chan! I swear to god! If you don't tell me I will seriously-"

"Jisung, how do you know if you're gay?" Jisung looked at Chan in shock.

"Chan are you-"

"I'm not sure. Felix has been on my mind a lot. I'm just confused." Chan sighed in frustration.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. We'll figure this out together okay?" Jisung reassuringly pats Chan's back. Chan nods.

"What do you feel when you're with Felix?"

"Happy? He sometimes makes my heart beat faster."

"Chan, do you still have feelings for any girls?" Chan thinks for a second, after the whole Irene incident, he hasn't had any attraction to women.

"N-no." Chan hangs his head low.

"Chan, this is nothing to be ashamed of."

"I know, it's just I don't want to fall in love again jisung!" Chan yells. Jisung sighs.

"Chan, I know what you went through was hard, but do you think Felix is like that?" Jisung thinks about Felix, not thinking he could do anything like what Irene did.

"I can't be sure of anything, jisung.." jisung sighs again.

"Hey, it's okay, just spend some time thinking about it later. For now get some sleep, okay?"
Chan nods, jisung stands up, motioning for Chan to do the same. "Head up to you're bed, I'll take over lyric writing for tonight." Chan pulls jisung in a hug.

"Thank you sung." Jisung smiles as he hugs Chan back.

"It's really no problem dude, but I got to get to writing." Chan pulls away smiling at jisung one more time. He the heads upstairs to his room and drifts to sleep for the first time in days.

I might not be posting everyday any more, I'm sorry, I've been very bad mental health wise, I will try my best to get better soon. Thank you for being patient.