Mind Games

Chapter 3

Friday night. After dinner I went to my room, I didn't want to have to talk to anyone. I was frustrated enough as it is. My little brother was in his room playing video games as usual. I can hear the background music for call of duty. I had a splitting headache. We were out of aspirin of course. I laid down on my bed and turned on my laptop. James was probably at the party by now. I wonder who was all there. I tried to stop thinking about it. It was frustrating me even more. I decided to close my eyes for a few minutes. I needed to get my mind off of everything.

I was surrounded by lights. I can hear the sound of machines beeping. Everything was blurry, but I can hear the faint sound of someone talking to someone else. A mans voice. I can hear people rushing back and fourth past me. Everything starts coming into focus. Doctors are staring down at a bed. Tables of tools are on each side of the bed. I look around, its an operating room. Why am I here? How did I get here? "We're losing him doctor. We don't have much longer. We have to make a decision." A nurse tells the doctor standing next to her. The beeping of the machines gets faster and faster. Everyone starts rushing around quickening their pace. One doctor holds up something, it looks like an iron. The sounds intensify and I cower to the ground and cover my ears. Whats going on? "clear!" One of the doctors say and it sounds like a charging force hitting a body. "stabilize the patient. Were losing time." The doctor yells to the nurse. The machines are beeping quickly. There's another charge and the sound intensifies again. "Clear!" The doctor yells again and another charging for strikes the body. "Hes not reviving anymore." The nurse says. The machines go into a flat line and the doctor takes off his mask and looks up at the nurse. "I'm calling it. We did everything we could." He says walking away from the operating table. He throws his hands up in surrender and walks over to the wall in frustration. He punches the wall and his fist bounces back. "Time of death: 11:34pm" The nurse looks at her watch. The doctor looks up at her and takes a deep breath. "Go out there and talk to the wife." He says. The nurse leaves the room. I follow the nurse in confusion. No one can see me. What is going on? I hear screaming from ahead and the sound of a woman crying. "I'm sorry ma'am. I will leave you alone now to yourself. Again im sorry. We did our best." The nurse says in a calm voice and walks away. Why am I having this dream? Why am I seeing this? Was I supposed to stop this, or fix this? There's a sudden ringing in the background, but I don't know where its coming from. I walk and look for the noise. Its getting closer and closer. Where is that ringing coming from?

My cellphone vibrates against my leg. The ringing intensifies and I wince at the noise. I wake up from my sleep and sit in an upright position. I look at my phone, James. "Hey man." I say. I can hear music in the background on James end. Its so loud I can barely hear him. Must be a pretty good party. "Where are you? Lexi is looking all over for you. She asked me where you were, said she figured you would be coming with me." James said. "What do you mean where am I? I didn't get invited to her party. Is she really going to play games like that?" I said. I was so angry right now. "Well I don't know where she went. But I'm sure shes on her way to your house to find you. Just a heads up. She seemed pretty hurt that you didn't come to her party." James said. What that didn't make sense. How are you going to get mad at someone for not coming to your party, when you didn't even invite them in the first place? "She broke up with me does she not get that?" I said. "I'm just letting you know bro" James said. "well thanks for the heads up. Hows the party?" I changed the subject. "This party is awesome. Why don't we go to more of these, they're so cool. Music, drinks, although they need to get some better tasting drinks. She put out some really nasty drinks and my stomach is starting to hurt from it. But other than that the party is great." James said. "Alright well enjoy buddy. I got some research to do call me later." I laughed. "Will do, bye." I can hear James yelling something in the background as he hung up the phone. I'm so glad I didn't go. I don't care that I wasn't invited. What gets me is that Lexi didn't invite me yet shes upset that I didn't go. Girls are so confusing. "I missed seeing you tonight at my party." A familiar voice said behind me. I jumped and turned around to see Lexi. I jumped back in surprise. "How did you get in here?" I asked, although I knew how she did. "You really need to start locking your window. You never know whose out there." She giggled. "Ha-ha very funny." I said, acknowledging the sarcasm in her voice. "You didn't invite me to your party. So you cant be mad that I didn't show up." I said, getting to the point. "I didn't invite you because I didn't want to see you and bring back the feelings. I loved you and our break-up was very hard for me." She said. "How? You broke up with me. You told me that you needed your space and you weren't in the position to be in a relationship right now." I can hear the frustration in my voice. "Then 2 days after, I see you with Scott McQueen holding hands like I didn't matter to you anymore. So don't tell me that you are hurt because I didn't show up at your party because that's bullshit." I took a step back and turned around. I needed to calm down before it was too late. I can feel the veins in my neck pulsing. "I broke up with you because were 16 and at 16 you shouldn't have feelings like I had for you. I shouldn't be so in love with someone that I cant breath when they're not around. That's why I broke up with you. I never felt the way I felt being around you. I loved you so much, it hurt to love you." Her voice cracked. I closed my eyes. Her words stung a little, Mutual feelings. "I think you should go, Lexi. You have a party to get back to." I said, taking a deep breath. "Cole, I'm sorry. I wish you would forgive me. Come back to the party with me and have some fun in your life. You never have fun anymore." She said, taking a step towards me. "Lexi, leave. Please leave." I said, my voice getting tenser. "Cole." She took another step closer to me. "I said go." My voice raised as I turned around. It was almost like a force field getting in the middle of Lexi and I, causing her to jump back. She had to leave, I was getting frustrated and I couldn't control it anymore. The veins in my neck were twitching, they looked like they were ready to burst. I flexed my jaw. A glass on the shelf above me cracked. She looked up and then back at me. It was silence for a few moments and then she turned around and started to climb out the window. "I still love you, Cole. I hope you know that." A flow of tears were rolling down her face, she didn't bother to wipe them off. I was breathing heavy as she climbs down the ladder that lead to my room. I didn't say anything and before I knew it she was gone. I did a sigh of relief and sat on my bed. I was calm now.

I don't know what happened. I was always able to control myself around her, she was one thing that kept me in control. But tonight was different. I couldn't control myself in front of her anymore. It was almost like I wanted to hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her did I? It was all coming together now. I lost control of my gift when I was angry. But what about the dreams of the future? Who was that man on the operating table in my dreams? Why was I there?" It didn't make sense. None of it did. it was almost like my mind was playing games. All of a sudden my phone beeped. I looked at my phone. It was from James. I open the message, "Dude what happened over there? Lexi told me you got really mad at her. Are you okay?" The message read. "I'm fine, James. Tell Lexi I'm sorry." My heart hurt. My eyes started to water. Another message from James. "Shes up in her room crying. You have to get over here. You're the only thing that can make this better." The message read. I didn't respond. What did she mean when she said 'it hurt to love you' what did that even mean? How can loving someone hurt so much? Something about those words stuck to me. Either I was going to go over there, or I was going to ignore the situation and go to sleep. I mean why should I have to go over there? We weren't together anymore. It wasn't my duty to make her feel better. Scott could do that I didn't care.

I laid down in my bed and closed my eyes. I needed to get my mind off everything. Life sucked. I couldn't be myself because I couldn't control myself. I had enough on my plate and Lexi was adding to my frustration, and now I couldn't even control myself in front of her. She was the only thing that kept me focused and calm. I had to stay away from her, I didn't want to hurt her. I fell asleep around 11 o'clock.