Purple Sparks | Jungkook x Reader x Hyunjin

Part 6

 "What makes us different? Well, you see, we know you. We know you better than anyone else does, maybe even better than you do. We understand you, we care for you, and we are just like you. Since the day Daddy and Mommy left you, we've been by your side. We are the ones who have made sure you're okay. We are the ones who have tried to be there for you whenever you need it. Not those people at the orphanage, they couldn't care less. You're a job for them and, at the end of the day, they go home to their own family and forget all about the poor kids who don't have one." Hyunjin's words confused me more than they angered me. I always knew they would never be my family, something in me always knew they didn't care. It stung, and to hear those words come from somebody's mouth really hurt me, but I had known it ever since I could understand the world around me. All I could focus on now is what he said about them knowing me. They don't know me, we just met. How have they taken care of me? How did they know about my past?

"What do you mean you know me? You don't know me one bit! We just met! And how do you know about my parents? They could have died or been deported or something! Don't just assume things about me!" I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about but the thought of leaving had completely vanished from my mind. Now, I needed to know what they were talking about.

"And helping me? Taking care of me? If that bullshit was really true, where were you when I cried myself to sleep all those nights? Huh? Where were you when I felt so sad I was physically sick? When it felt like something ripping my body apart and I could feel every bit of energy and every ounce of happiness forced out of my body and drained until there was nothing left? Do you have any idea what it's like to feel so alone, even when you have so much love coming your way? That you grow distant from everyone and they don't even notice? When nothing feels right anymore? I am so alone, everyday of my life, that the only place I feel like people understand me or love me is when I'm dreaming. I just want to go to sleep forever. So can you answer my questions? Where were you when I held my razor in the backyard and tried to carve away my pain?" I knew I had just been going on and on and on but I couldn't stop. I hadn't told anybody anything in such a long time and I just needed to let at least some of it out. Through my tear blurred eyes, I watched as their faces shifted and guilt clouded their gazes. I could see that they too had tears running down their cheeks and endlessly falling. We stood there in silence.

"...I'm sorry." I heard them both mutter as they looked to their shoes. I didn't know what to say. I felt so vulnerable, I regretted every word I spoke. I hated telling people things like that and now I had just gone and told some people I'd just met some hours ago. I was so weak to break like that.

"We saw. We watched everything. When you cried, we cried. But there was nothing we could do. Even waiting until you're old enough to understand the situation, it's still weird. In fact, we never even planned on telling you this. You'd be completely insane to stay with us after we told you we'd been watching you for such a long time. If there's anything that has to be said, it's this. We longed to hug you when you'd cry, to steal the blade from your hand and tell you everything was okay, to have random conversations and laugh until it hurt. You need to understand that we couldn't, for so many reasons." Jungkook barely spoke above a whisper. I'm sure he was afraid of what would happen if he didn't. By the looks of it, I could crumble at any moment or tear through the woods in fear and disgust to get away from them. But I didn't. It shocked me, but there was nothing in me that wanted to leave. I couldn't tell whether it was because I had nothing to leave to, nothing to leave for, or if I simply didn't care because this meant that I at least had somebody who cared for me, I had two of them. Looking back, I am so lucky I wasn't murdered. I followed my stalkers into the woods and didn't take my chance to run before it got dark and then told them about myself. It's completely crazy to read this and not think it's extremely unrealistic. But when you're this lonely, with nothing else to live for, none of it feels like it matters. At least it never did to me.

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