Broken Promises

Chapter 17 - Caregivers

It is hard to discuss your life without discussing the nurses and therapists who really became part of the family, and some who were terrifying. I had to trust them with your life, and that was something that was very difficult for me. We had some we had removed due to a poor fit. The people in this chapter became like family. They came in and out at different times in your life, so I chose to talk about them in this chapter as it is impossible to remember exactly which one was around at which time. You and I saw them more often than most family due to distance. They loved you and gave you great care. Your life was made better because of them.

The first nurse, Debra, was wonderful. We had recently moved, and nursing had finally been approved. She came to the house late at night and asked if she was at the right house. Jokingly, I said no, and she had this look in her eyes like she was lost in the middle of nowhere. It only took a second for me to laugh, and we became friends quickly. She was a mother and grandmother. More, she was a southern mother. They make some of the best moms and nurses.

I was mischievous one day. She had told me that a scene from the Sixth Sense freaked her out because all the cupboards were opened up. One day when I came home from an errand, she did not hear me come in as she was giving you your medicine. I knew she would be coming back to the kitchen afterwards. I quietly slipped into the kitchen and opened every cupboard door and drawer. I slipped back outside and waited. About five minutes later, I heard this scream as she walked back into the kitchen. Fortunately she did not strangle me, but it would have been understandable.

She was with us for several years. She was the nurse who went to the zoo and botanical garden with you and me. I regret how it ended. We had a detailed therapy plan, and she was not always doing it. Instead of talking to her about it, I asked for a change of care. To this day I regret this. She was a great nurse who loved you. I was so hyperfocused on your care that I was not able to ask why she did not adhere to the plan. In hindsight, I think she was simply aware that at times it might be too much for you.

There were two primary nurses towards the end, Frank and Monique. Both were with us for a long time. I think in all the times we had a nurse, there were only two men. Frank was with us the longest. He was a great guy. It was nice having a man around to talk to. He cared for his ailing parents until they passed. We quickly became good friends. It is weird when you are pretty much confined to your home. That camaraderie is a welcome respite from the serious nature of the day to day.

I think it is important to point out how important it is that we have more male nurses. There seems to still be a stigma at times about male nurses and yet everyone I have met tells me how in demand they are as many request a male nurse for male patients, especially in home care. I have found them to be just as compassionate and caring as female nurses. For many males who need healthcare, it can provide them with some dignity having a male care of their personal needs.

Monique was a wonderful nurse. She a young mother of two who had a spouse with a degenerative health issue. She had a tremendous spirit and was excellent with you. We became very close. She would be there most of the days, and Frank would cover the second half of the week. Monique brought her daughter out once because she asked to meet you. I was very happy to say yes to this. Her daughter was so precious with you. She was a little timid but eager to say hi. I am pretty sure Monique was there on your final day when the call to take you to the hospital one last time was made. She was of great support during this time.

Dee was so tiny, and she had so much energy she could seemingly never sit down. I had decided I wanted one night of the week to be normal, so I scheduled Saturday as that day. Dee became one of the nurses to cover that shift. The first night there, she asked what she needed to do at night, and I just told her to keep an eye on you and let me know if there were any issues. She could wake me up for anything.