Broken Promises

Chapter 29 - Me and God

Me and God. This might be one of the hardest chapters to write. It is just so unresolved and ongoing. I sat here for a few minutes trying to figure out the next sentence and then the next. The simplest answer is I do not know. I have always believed in and loved God, and still do. I am just very upset with Him. I was listening to a minister once who said what might be the most profound truth I have ever heard. He likened one's relationship to God as a relationship with a human friend. Friendships go through up and downs. The problem is that when friends are having issues, we are often too afraid to communicate with the other until it gets to a point where the relationship is in vital jeopardy. What needs to happen is that we must look our friend in the eyes and tell them how you honestly feel, or nothing can change. It is hard to argue that logic.

He then applied that line of thinking to our relationship with God. He stated that we should do the same. If we are angry with God, we should tell Him. Let him have it. Tell him exactly how we feel. Let it all out. He went on to say that if we had harsh words that were inside us, let them out. Step away from the viewpoint that we must never question and always accept. One, God knows how we feel already, so whether our mouth has said it, our heart already has. Two, God is a big God. He can take it. We are not going to hurt His feelings by being honest how we feel. Three, once everything is out, we can hopefully begin to heal.

Still, in the end I have zero answers, no resolution, no understanding. And that is likely how it will always be.

I have thought a lot about some Bible verses, especially the one I hate. A dear friend messaged me the other day about the one I mentioned earlier that I loathe.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This was a verse that was pressed to us as early when you were in the NICU. Someone even printed it out, laminated it, and placed it on you crib. At the time, I thought, this is a great verse. Over the years, it became like bile in my throat. It became a poisonous lie that just angered me whenever I saw it. This friend told me to read the verse before it.

Jeremiah 29:10

This is what the Lord says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place.

Your first thought might be "and?" She went on to say that when we read the verse it is about a collective "you." It is also not written to everyone. It is written to a specific group of people in a specific situation. It has nothing to do with the individual nor is it addressed to a current specific group. The promise was to the chosen people before their journey. We just take it and pretend that we have the power to demand it mean what we wish for it to mean.

Another set of verses that many have heard:

Isaiah 53:5

But he was pierced for our transgressions;

he was crushed for our iniquities;

upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,

and with his wounds we are healed.

When we read these verses out of context it appears that we are talking about a physical healing. It is repeated all the time to people and families in need of healing. There is a new testament verse that is similar. If these words are true, we should be seeing many more instances of healing among believers. The problem is that our interpretation and use of this verse is deceptive. The passage deals with a spiritual matter. It speaks of punishment He took to heal our spiritual self. It has nothing to do with the physical body.