Broken Promises

Chapter 22 - Escaping to the Caribbean

September 2009

Shortly after you died, the company I worked for had an opening for a production manager in the Caribbean. This person would be responsible for handling our production services in Antigua, Barbados, and Guyana along with the United States. It would require living in Barbados and could extend for a long time. The current person they had in the job had been struggling and eventually quit. The company then announced the job opening.

I talked to my boss who thought that it would be a good thing for me to apply. I was immediately given the promotion, and I was told that I would be living in Barbados for the next three to four months maybe even longer, potentially permanent. This was something I really needed. It was a good change of atmosphere. Although I didn't realize it at the time, I now realize that this allowed me to completely step out of the situation that I was going through. I am not sure if that was healthy or not, but it sure felt good to be able to drown myself in work in a different and beautiful country. The shift could be a great way to reboot the mind and the soul, but mostly it was a chance to try to process the situation.

October 2009

I packed up the entire house in record time and made the move to Barbados. I had friends who I have known for years who were over there. These were the same ones I had hung out with a couple months before for the wedding. We lived in a quadplex of townhouses. They were gorgeous. The floors were all stone. Thy had two nice bedrooms, a big glass-enclosed shower, and a lovely balcony. I did a lot of thinking, praying, and crying on that balcony. I also read a great many books on Kindle. It was an amazing location to just be in the moment.

All four of us lived right beside each other, and it was great. Jacque was one of those neighbors. It was almost forced socialization. I would get up every morning and go swimming in the sea at five o'clock in the morning till about six o'clock. I would come home and make breakfast before showering and getting ready for work. I was at work by seven o'clock until five pm. I would typically go to the gym five days a week and work out with a trainer who I was sure was trying to murder me. After that I came home and hung out with my neighbors. I was in bed by nine pm and out like a light. I slept like a rock. I did this every day without fail. I watched essentially no television except for a series, Stargate Universe, that came on Friday nights. It was a favorite of the group. It came on at nine pm and most every week I feel asleep during it.

The routine was incredibly helpful. I would also be working on my MBA classes. We typically went to the beach together on the weekends. It was great to see the sea and soak up the sun. I think all that vitamin D from the sun was extremely helpful. Within a week or two, it would pull you out of your funk.

Looking back I think I just pretended what happened had not happened. It was much easier to not process it all and live in this new make believe land. The stresses at work became intense which made it all the easier to pretend. All that existed was work, school, and friends. The past never really happened. It was just a bad dream, and everyone let me go on as if it had never happened.

I got a call from Jacque one evening. It was more of a shriek. Since her townhouse was right beside mine and we kept our windows open, it was easy to hear. I hurried over and she was sitting at her table grading student papers. She was pointing at her window. On the screen of her window was a spider that was about twelve inches across. It might have been less than that, but in my memory it was ginormous. Keep in mind it was dark outside, the spider was dark brown, and it was the largest spider I have ever seen, one that I was not familiar with. She had no poison spray, so I grabbed the first thing I saw. A can of air for blowing dust off things. I turned it upside down and sprayed the cold on it, freezing it. It became especially freaky because its legs came off. I emptied the can on that thing. There was no way I was risking him coming to find me in my sleep to settle a grudge. We still speak of that Godzilla of a beast.