Twilight: Blood Moon

Broken Past

Date:
9/13/08

Laying in the grass, staring at the stars was a good feeling,a nostalgic feeling, pointing out constellations that I remembered,made me feel free. As I thought of that feeling a word came to me  "safe."
A month ago, my father told me, in a very stern manner "this is gonna keep you safe."
He put my hands on my shoulders,but softened up to me as he wrapped his arms around me. My father never really felt a connection to me, because I was the reason my mother passed,for him to hug me that was unusual.Never even knowing her I knew my strong relationship towards her,yet I'd never be able to experience that. I knew deep down in the remains of his heart he did truly love me, just didn't know how to show correctly. Our hug didn't last long and he pulled away, yet I didn't want to let go. "Farewell" he said to the both of us.

I sighed and shook my head; that was it, all he had left to say to me.

I looked back at Jacob smiling at me. I smiled back slightly,and got into his car. When we lost sight of him I looked to the back of his car and saw my father drop his stern look into more of a sad frown. Yet he quickly turned around walked up his driveway. Just giving me up to Jacob he didn't like. I suppose he tolerated me.
I sat back in my chair and looked at the trees that passed, as I did so I rested my head against the warm feel of the window.
"Nessie I-"  he called to me.
"Don't call me that" I said quietly,but firmly.

"This is gonna keep you safe"
"This is gonna keep you safe"
The words went through my head, but they seemed unfair. Wrong he was.
I'd only be safe with my family.

"Renesmee"
Must've been lost in my music my father gave me. A headset and a cassette player.
I went to flip it and read-

Hits from 80s and 90s
(My personal favorites)

I flipped it to the other side and saw

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did back then
Happy birthday, -dad

I sighed knowing the side of my father that was happy, knowing I was a reason he wasn't so much anymore. Slid it back into its casing, closed it back up,hit play, and laid back to the tune of There Is a Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths.
" cause it not my home it their home and I'm welcome no more" That was lyrics that made me think of my situation. I wasn't welcome in my old home.

"Renesemee!" Jacob yelled.
I pulled down my headset,
"What?"

"What are you doing over there" he questioned.

I signed saying, "relaxing."

"Come over here and help me with the fire" he encouraged.
I groaned and got up, we adjusted the fire and sat back down. He looked at his phone, and spoke,

"It's getting late you should probably go in, I'll be in right after you." He assured.
"I don't want to go in" I grunted.
"Well I don't care you gotta sleep" Jacob finished,as he rubbed his hands together by the fire.

"No I don't need to I can live without it" I added, holding my legs.

"Fine" he nodded.

We spent the rest of the night in silence warming by the fire until he spoke.
"Lot of stars tonight,"he said, looking up.

"Yeah I know their beautiful arent they, Big Dipper's right there," as I pointed it out.

"I'm glad you got something to look forward to, like that book your always looking in" He smiled back at me.
"Yeah I got it for my birthday from aunt Alice." I recalled.
"Maybe I'll take you to see the northern lights one day, their not constellations, but they're just as pretty." He grinned.
"Really?" I gasped. "I'd like that" I approved.
I thought for a moment what I'd say next, all I told him was that I wanted to go to sleep.