Twilight: Blood Moon

Stuck in a Haze

"I came back because I missed you, I just thought you might've"

"I dont know, feel the same"

He stayed quiet unsure of how he felt I assumed.

"i did" he muttered.

I didn't believe him because of those awful words he said. Memories of him never truly loving me or caring for me stayed the same. I almost felt disconnected to him, but he showed a soft side to him on the rarest occasions to me.

"I um want you to go take a shower, to get cleaned up, I'll lay out some my old pajamas you might be able to fit into," he said. "you know cause you packed them all up when you left."

I tooked down at myself, I was a hot mess. My jeans were splattered with mud as well as my flannel ripped.The sofa I rested on now soaked in blood mixed with mud.

"ok" I stuttered,walking down the hall to my room. I missed my old room, this room felt out of my style.

The time spent in the shower felt long, but refreshing at the least. After exiting I picked out my pajamas. Long comfortable bottoms with an unfit shirt. I brushed out my long curly brownish red hair and climbed into bed. yet I didn't close my eyes i just stared off to the ceiling,until a knock called out.

I stayed quiet unsure if I wanted him to talk to me again. Hes probably gonna tell me I'd have to go back to Jacob. If so I'd complain, he'd force me back, either him or the rest of my family would.

Silence filled the room, I enjoyed that silence.
Hours went by or minutes I couldn't even tell,but I knew it still dark. Dawn hasn't risen.

"Renesmee" he whispered at my door.
I stayed silent, hoping he would leave me alone for the night.It stayed a constant state of nothingness, until I called, "come in"

"You just left your bag on the couch out there" he said handing it to me, and I noticed a small stack of books he was holding on the other hand.
"Thanks" I said Slushish like.
"Sorry about the couch" I said back to him.

"its fine" he said avoiding looking at me, and leaving my room.

" look" he sighed.
"I'm sorry for lashing out,but you don't realize what danger is it for you to be here"
"It's not that" I said in surprise of his apology, didn't seem genuine.
Silence found out once again after I said what I said and climbed back into bed.
"It's about you dad what you said just " I stopped unable to say my next words.
I never opened up to my father before, this wasn't as easy as talking to the rest of my family because he wasn't them. Wasn't as excepting as they were. He was a lot different, sterner I suppose, and I don't think he really talks out his feelings. Maybe it's just harder for him now that I am here.

"Look I know you usually would talk to your aunts about stuff that has you worried or scared, but you can still talk to me." He said with a sly smile.

I didn't believe that smile; Although I wanted to.
"What you said reminded me of the conversation you and mom had about me," "before I was born"
He snapped from my eyes in guilt, remembering her, hate from his eyes knowing he knew exactly what I was talking about.
"When you said you couldn't love me, or you couldn't, and I know -" My voice broke off.
"I don't want to talk about it Renes-" he said, being interrupted.

"But we have to!" I yelled at him.
"Or else I'm not ever gonna feel any positive way towards you" I finished. 
He stood, but stared off through my windows. Listening, but speechless. He turned and left the room before I could start.

Another conversation he must've hated. I spent the rest of my night, trying to sleep,but every other thought that came to my head, was pushed away by one question. Why did I even come back here? I could've just went to my grandparents house.I signed back into my pillow. Either he likes me or tolerates me, the back and forth wasn't neccesary. I never could understand his sudden change in mood, it wasn't like I would read his mind constantly. I figured sleep would make me forget about his dreadful night. My nights leading up to seeing him again, or encountering Jane and her cult. He still had no idea about it. Telling him would worry him and I'd be stuck in a state of constant discipline. With that clouded my mind. I sighed again and looked back up at the ceiling. Until I finally drifted off to sleep.