Twilight: Blood Moon

Thoughts to Process

My fathers mood came over to be more strict. Impatient perhaps as he made his way to the front of the house. Esme,Carlisle, and aunt Rosalie followed after him. I followed,up until they came to him. I watched from a distance."I want you to just talk it out, no fights," Esme grabbed his hand pulling him back. "Trust me I'll talk to him" he said in a roughy tone.
"Good exactly he should get what's coming to em" aunt Rosalie rasped.
"Edward you don't hurt that boy, I thought you boys were in decent terms." Esme echoed out the house. My father shook his head "well deal with his mistake."Esme finished.

"Alice's avision was true, about Renesmee" Jacob said, walking toward my dad.
"Why the hell wasn't she with you" he now grabbed Jacob.
"Edward" Esme warned, but he didn't listen.
"I just went out for the night" Jacob happened to mutter. "I was coming-"
"For the night right" "then how come you show up the next day" he said pushing Jacob out his grasp.
He didn't say anything after that,but my father could hear his jumbled thoughts on what to say. He must've figured out what he did last night because he scoffed and stormed back into the house. Jacob followed after him.
"She with you then right?" He asked.
"Obviously, and your damn well luck shes alright" Rosalie scoffed. Jacob gave a nasty look back.
They all came rushing back into the house. I stepped out only to see Jacob rushing to hug me. Pulled me into a hug, I sat there Unsure of how to get him off me.
"I missed you so much" he called
"Why did you leave me" he called again.
"You know why" I replied.
"You've could've just talked to me about it" he said.
"Why" I asked.
"You'd try and convince me to stay,I know it"
He tried to speak,but I cut him off.
"barley even like my family, all bloodsuckers to you," I went off.
"No it's not" he tried again.
"Yes it's exactly like that, but I'd rather be around them ." "You did nothing wrong Jacob I just didn't feel okay knowing I'd be without them" I stuttered our.
Fortunately, he didn't argue back, so I walked up the stars and sat down. I needed a moment by myself.
He spoke to Esme about having a talk, and to meet them in the living room.His footsteps trailed off to the living room.
The rest of my family were in there when they started talking about me. I wish I would've covered my ears to not hear what was coming.

Edwards POV
We all meet each other in the living room.

"Edward, what are you gonna do about Renesemee being back?" Esme asked. "She's welcome to stay here if you not ready to-"

"I want her to stay with me, rather than going with him." I clarified, surprised by myself taking responsibility, Esme smiled at me. Glancing up at that mutt, and shifting my eyes, he spoke up, "You got to be kidding, she not safe without me," he asserted. "she'd be perfectly fine without you" Rosalie gritted through her teeth.

 His muttering words didn't sit well with me.

"he did take good care of her until" Esme's voice trailed off.

"Until she ran off, to Edward surprisingly." Rosalie added. "out of all of us," she grinned.

"she must've wanted to get finally get away from a mutt" I claimed. Jacob shook his head at me.

"not like you make any effort -" Rosalie tried, and I interrupted.

"I'm trying" I growled.

"you really consider that trying" she scolded.

Rosalie stood up, slamming her heal to the dark hardwood flooring.
"Rosalie" Esme warned.

"Here it starts," Emmett said, chuckling.

"No Esme, a month we've kept in silence about this whole situation and if no one gonna address it then I will"  she stated.

"Fine" Esme ended.
"You barley even look at her," Rosalie started.

"You know why It's hard for me" I retorted.
"Bella would not stand for your behavior towards her" she swore. Jacob turned his head away from Rosalie.
"Don't say her name, Rosalie!" Esme said looking down, at a daughter in law she missed dearly.
I truly look shaken up about the mention of her name. My rage from that night came back to me in a rush, I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"IM THE ONE WHO TRULY LOST HER, AND EVERY TIME I TRY AND LOOK AT HER I SEE WHAT I LOST" I snapped.

"You treat her like she doesn't even exist, like she not even important!" she bickered back at me.

"Enough!" Esme commanded, stepping in between us.

"Rosalie I hate this as much as you do believe me, how he's behaving around her, the dark looks he gives her, the neglected talks, and he's gonna fix that," Esme said, glancing at me now, she turned her head back to Rosalie.
"But you have to understand what's he's lost here"Esme reassured.
"Just imagine if you lost Emmet how you'd feel" she continued. 
She took a look back at Emmett, who had his eyebrows up in shock. She turned around with a smile.
She nodded with a frown, then a moment she shook her head after Esme step back.

"I'd felt the lost too, just maybe not as much as you did"  Rosalie pointed out.
"But you can't just neglect her, she's growing up too fast, and you're never there for her." she restated. "and your gonna regret that one day"

"You got what I always wanted," bewailed Rosalie, to my right ear.
"But you can't regret anything"  she finished, walking off, her heals clanking to the flooring. Emmett followed a bit after her, mentioning he would remember the mason jars to Esme, she nodded. Jasper and Alice held hands walking out, the look they both gave me was an unsure glance. Jacob followed up with saying, "you should be able to live with this" he chuckled, "be glad I didn't kill you immediately.

I sat back down in silence. The mention of her beautiful name, made me steam up with hatred shot towards myself. I did this to her. In a sense I killed her, yet she wanted it. I'm stuck with a child with a spitting image of her. Mine she was, I still felt an awful being for neglecting her in the way I did. How could I ever come to terms?

I just thought
I was helping
By distancing myself

Away from the only part of her, I had left.