The Bad Boy's Roommate || min yoongi ff !DISCONTINUED!

Part 12 - saudade

saudade (noun.) - a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or has been loved and then lost; "the love that remains"

I laced our finger together and rested my head on our interlocked hands and looked up at her pale face. 'Please be okay' i prayed and let myself drift into unconsciousness, by her side.

I woke up with a jolt. I looked up at y/n to see her small face with her eyes still closed. I can see her chest rising and falling slowly, indicating she's still in a deep sleep. I let go of the breath i didn't realise i was holding and sigh in relief. She's still okay.

The small monitor at her bedside beeps rhythmically in the background as i look around me. My eyes stop on the clock mounted high up on the wall. It reads 10:18 am.

I look down and notice that our hands are still intertwined and smile at that. I slowly begin trying to untangle our hands but as soon as i remove one of her fingers, a tiny, desperate whimper escapes her lips. My eyes widen. I feel her finger twitch once more, but this time it's stronger.

I take her finger and put it back to where it originally was. I guess she's not ready to let go.

Y/N POV

It feels like it's been years. I'm surrounded by this bright light and the only thing grounding me is that feeling of pressure and warmth on my hand, knowing who's on the other end of that.

Suddenly i feel the pressure begin fading slightly.

I panic and begin to scream out for Yoongi, begging him to not let me go. It's all i have to hold on to. I scream until i can no more and just like that, the feeling returns. I guess my screaming worked.

It comforts me knowing i'm not dead and that there is hope for me. I don't know when or how i'll escape this, but i do know that i won't give up. Not when i still have those 7 bubbly boys to take care of, they feel like family already and i'm forever in debt to them for helping me when they did. I owe them my life.

Yoongi POV

I look towards y/n and see a tear roll down her cheek. I panic for a second and check the monitor to make sure her vitals are okay and that she's not in any physical pain. Everything is normal on the monitor and i relax once more.

It bothers me though, that i can't see how she feels or figure out what she's thinking. I don't know if she's hurting emotionally and it's painful for me to think that if she is, there's nothing i can do to help her except be by her side. I wish she could tell me what's on her mind and relieve her at the minimum a fraction of that burden at least.
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After a few hours, the boys all arrived back again to visit and see how she was feeling. The boys all wanted a moment alone with her but i warned them all to keep a tight grip on her hand at all times.

Jungkook came in first and i looked at him softly before gently handing her over to him. He sits on the seat at her bedside and sighs. I make my way towards the door but pause in the doorway and look back at the two. Why do I feel worried? It's not like i'm her boyfriend, Jungkook will look after her; i know he will. I continue out the door and slide the door over quietly behind me.

Man, i'm hungry!

Jungkook POV

I sit in silence for a while with my head hung low. The guilt i feel in every inch of my body is excruciating. I can't look at her, knowing that maybe if i hadn't have dragged her through them fucking woods she wouldn't be have broken her ankle, therefore no crutches and no slipping on the step. I'm so angry with myself.

Without noticing, tears of frustration begin to flow down my face. I don't try to stop them either.

I finally look up at her face and reach out with my other hand to touch her cheek. "I'm sorry," I manage to choke out through my tears, "I'm sorry for everything."

"I'm sorry for taking you through those stupid woods; i'm sorry for causing you to have a broken ankle; i'm sorry for making you have crutches which caused your accident on the stairs which led to all of this. I'm a real idiot."

I pause and a strangled sob escapes my lips. "God, i'm such an idiot. It's all my fault. Y/n, will you ever be able to forgive me? You don't deserve any of this, it should be me."

I sniffle and wipe my nose before chuckling. "I'm a mess, but i deserve it after what i've done to you. I blame myself entirely. Y/n, i know we've only known each other for a while but everything about you is just so captivating and pulls me further and further into you. You're like a siren song; every part of you calls out to me and makes me want to get closer to you."

I take a deep breath and look down once again. Well, that was one way to get everything off my chest i suppose.

I sit still, head still down, gripping tightly to y/n's hand as i had been. Suddenly, i felt a tight squeeze on my hand. My head shoots up to look at her.

Her eyes are just about opened and she's looking at me. My eyes widen and she smiles at me.

"Dry those tears, Jungkookie. I hate to see you upset."

(hihihihiiiii!! Another chapter, who is she??? I've suddenly just got this burst of creativity and inspiration for this book so everything is just flowing! But wow, the support- i have no wordsssss y'all are fr too kind 😢 i'm overwhelmed this ff has gained over 200+ reads in only a day ??? what is going on, seriously i could cry. I'm so grateful to be welcomed back with open arms and i'm really trying my best to keep this all interesting! Once again, the MOST love to all of you who read this and comment and vote, it truly means the world and more. I just wanted to say that if any of you ever wanted to like idk be friends ? my messages are always open and i love talking to y'all 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 even commenting i love replying :) thank you for your continued support all of you lil cuties my heart swells with love for you all!! ~ author-nim <3)