In Uncharted Waters

Chapter One

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I defy you, stars

I was out of the hospital after a couple days and back at home. It didn't feel right though. Everyone went on with their lives like nothing had happened, but how could we do that? The Pogues visited me in the hospital and JJ technically never left, but other than that, we had all taken time apart to process. Pope used his time to mend things with his parents. Kie took this time to evaluate her new relationship. JJ used this time to relieve his guilt. Then there was me.

I sat in my living room with Jasper and tried to ignore my father who was in the kitchen, adjacent to where we sat. He didn't visit me at all. He didn't even acknowledge me when I got home. Maybe he didn't know what to say to me. Maybe he didn't care.

"I'm heading out," I told Jasp. He looked at me worried, but he didn't stop me. My mom wasn't home and she was the only one stopping me from leaving most days. I was dressed nicely and had my hair pulled back into a high ponytail. I got into my car and drove over to JJ's house. I prayed he was here because if he wasn't I didn't know where he was. I knocked on the door and looked around. I looked in the window and knocked one more time. Finally, the door opened.

"Hello?" Luke stood in front of me and I wondered if he would recognize me from the time we met. He looked at me carefully. "You're JJ's friend."

"Girlfriend," I said with a smile. "Is he home?"

"Left two days ago, haven't been back," his dad said. "You can come in and wait a while, but I wouldn't hold your breath."

"Do you know where he might be?" Luke just shook his head at me and apologized. I thanked him and got back in the car. I drove to the only other place I thought he could be. Sure enough, his bike was in the driveway of the chateau. I knocked lightly and walked in. "JJ?"

"In here!" he yelled. I opened up the spare bedroom and there he was laying on the bed. "Hey Sav."

His shirt was off and patches of bruises were speckled across his chest. I tried not to show any emotion because I knew he hated it. I just slid into bed next to him and kissed his neck. He hummed in response.

"You're awfully affectionate today," he mumbled as he turned and cupped my face with his hands. He kissed me passionately and I felt his hands gently roam my body. He pulled away, leaving me wanting more.

"Why are you here?" I asked. I looked around the room and saw some of his things scattered around.

"My dad," he said. He reached down and grabbed a shirt off the floor. He slipped it over his head, but I stopped him. I traced the bruises carefully and he just grabbed my hand. "No need to get emotional."

"Come stay on my boat," I said. "It will be like before. Plus, I worried about you staying here alone."

He stared at me, knowing what I was thinking. Him being here just kept reminding him. He needed a break. He needed to heal. I needed him to realize it wasn't his fault.

"Can't be any worse than staying here," he said, agreeing. I smiled and slipped my arms around him. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I said. It had only been two days without seeing him, but I did miss him terribly during it. I didn't want to go a day without seeing JJ.

We spent all day in bed. Just being by his side was enough to make me happy. He knew I couldn't do much yet and he was being patient with me. Somewhere in the midafternoon, I must've fallen asleep. When I woke up it was around 6pm. I reached around for JJ, but he wasn't there. He was sitting on the porch in front and holding a bandana in his hand. I caught his attention and he looked at me, shoving the bandana in his pocket.

"Let's go see Kie," he said. "It's dinner time and we can eat at The Wreck."

I decided not to acknowledge the bandana and agreed to dinner. We drove over and got out. I wasn't going to lie to myself, I was nervous to see Kie and Pope. We walked in and my anxiety spiked for a moment. However, as soon as Kie saw us, she ran over and hugged me.

"I'm so happy to see you," she said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," I said with a huge smile. "I missed you."

Pope joined us and told us it was nice to see us. It was nice to be welcomed with open arms. I smiled as we all sat down. Kie worked hard to make us some food to eat. I smiled as I ate and enjoyed my time together. We laughed and for a moment everything felt like normal. I smiled and remembered that I forgot my wallet in my car. I ran out to grab it.

"Savannah?" I heard a voice behind me while I was at my car. I turned around and saw Topper in front of me.

"Hey..." I said.

"How are you?" he said. He looked uncomfortable. I told him I was doing alright and he rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I remember your brother saying you were in the hospital and I just wanted to check in on you."

"I'm okay," I said. "Thanks for checking up."

I turned around to walk back inside, but he grabbed my arm.

"I came to say sorry," he said. I turned and stared at him. He looked at me awkwardly. "Sarah before she... before she died, told me about that time..."

"Topper, you don't have to beat yourself up over something that happened years ago," I said. I heard the front door open and then another person grabbed my other arm. JJ pulled me towards him and stared daggers at Topper.

"Let go of her," JJ said firmly. As soon as JJ showed up, Topper's soft demeanor turned cold.

"I'm okay," I said to him. "Let's go back in. Bye Topper."

I pulled JJ back in and he immediately demanded me to tell him what that was about. I thought about lying, but what good would that do? I stared at him and reassured him that I was fine.

"He came to apologize for everything," I said.

"But he only apologizes to you," he snickered, annoyed. I sighed and decided not to argue with him right now. What mattered right now was helping each other through the tough times. I clung to his arm and batted my eyes at him. He ruffled my hair and walked back to the others. I ran after him and smiled.

When it came time to leave, I told JJ I would meet him by the boat in an hour. I sped home and jumped in the shower. I threw on some comfy pjs and found Jasper. I begged him to cover for me. I pleaded with him until he agreed.

"You owe me," he said. I smiled at him and hugged him quickly. I snuck out to the boat and waited for JJ. He certainly took his time, but eventually he got there.

"Hello," he said, smirking. I greeted him as I stood up and placed my lips against his. He kissed back and I found myself pressed up against the wall. My hands were in his hair as he kissed down my neck. A soft moan slipped out of my lips and he stopped there. I stared at him with confusion, but took a few steps away from me. He didn't want to go on. I tried not to take offense to the clear rejection and led him downstairs. I sat on the bed as he went to take a shower. I sighed and tried to control my thoughts. JJ was known for never turning a girl down. He was a clear playboy before me. Then there was the whole Topper situation that was confusing as hell. Why apologize now for something that happened three years ago? I heard the shower turn off and quickly got under the covers. I closed my eyes and when he came in he asked if I was awake still.

"Barely," I lied. He laid down next to me and pulled me into his arms. I cuddled into him and we just laid there together. I couldn't sleep no matter what I did. He didn't seem to have any problem though. I watched him while soft snores escaped his mouth. Then a while later he began to move in his sleep. He mumbled something incohesive.

"I'm sorry John," he said. I frowned and shook him awake. He was sweating so much and panting when I finally got his eyes to open. I hugged him tightly and I told him over and over to stop blaming himself. He just held me against him and said nothing. How could I get through to him? None of this was his fault.