In Uncharted Waters

Chapter Seven

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Do not swear by the moon, for she changes constantly

JJ's POV

I had just gotten to school. I wasn't going to go, but Pope insisted that I at least make an appearance. John B usually kept him company, so I felt obligated to step up. I slung the backpack over my shoulder and was about to walk in, but something unusual caught my eye. A second bike was parked in the lot. A bike that looked all too familiar. Rafe. I scanned around to see if this was some sick prank. No sign of him, but who would've done this? Barry? Topper? Rafe was in jail, it couldn't be him. I turned back towards the school doors, just as the first bell rang and there he was.

"Long time, no see, JJ," he said. His eyes were cold. He looked straight at me, but it feel like he was looking through me. I felt my blood boil in rage. "You've caused me a lot of problems. Money loss, family loss, prison time, and you're going to pay for it all."

"How are you even here?" I asked. He just laughed at me.

"Your girl could tell you, but she's hanging with Topper now," he said snidely. "Savannah looks pretty hot as a kook. Maybe I'll try to hit that after her face heals up."

My blood boiled. I saw red for a moment as I grabbed him by the shirt and was ready to rip him apart. How dare he talk about her like that? How dare he even say her name? Then it clicked. She was hurt. I shoved him away from me and told him if he ever showed up in front of me and my friends again, I would kill him. He gave me a look before leaving.

I looked back at the school and knew I couldn't go in now. My mind was racing with all the possibilities of what could be wrong with Savannah. Immense guilt washed over me as I remembered her face the last time we talked. I still couldn't figure out why I said it. I couldn't understand why I didn't go after her. Nothing made sense anymore. I hadn't been eating much or sleeping. Everytime I lay in bed, I miss having her next to me. No one told you that when you break up, you can't sleep on their side of the bed. I had to see her. I had to make sure she was okay. I had to let her know I was sorry, that I still loved her.

I got on my bike and took off towards the Kook Academy. I parked in the lot, but it was morning and I knew she wouldn't be out until after school. I paced back and forth trying to find the right words to say to her when I saw her. How do you say your sorry after something like this?

Hours went by and finally she walked out the door. She looked beautiful, but uncomfortable. I could see the anxiety on her face. She had cuts all over her arms and one gash on her face. When I saw her I couldn't hold back. I pulled her into my arms and held her against me. She smelled like lavender as always. I missed her...

Savannah's POV

After the first day of school, I found myself wishing that I could go back to how it used to be. People paid attention to me now. They all stared at me because of Top. They stared at me and whispered. It felt like I was thirteen again. The whispering was almost triggering for me, but I walked through it. I dealt with the whispers and I pretended it didn't bother me. I just wanted to go back to being invisible though. It was so much easier.

I opened my locker at the end of the day and looked at myself in the mirror. My skin was pale and the gash on my face was so noticeable. I looked awful. I would whisper about me too. I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder. I looked for Topper, but he was busy with Kelse. I didn't want to intrude. I decided I would see him later and I should just go home for now. I walked calmly to the front door of the school. I walked past Kie who was still getting her stuff together and said nothing. I just pushed the doors open and was blinded by light. I walked out and stopped for a second, allowing my eyes to adjust to the sunlight. Then I felt someone grab my arm. I was pulled into a body. A familiar scent filled my nostrils.

"Thank god," he breathed out. I could control my emotions. His hand grazed my cheek and at first I was too shocked to react. "Are you okay? I'm so-"

"Get off me," I said, voice shaking. I pushed at him, but he wouldn't give up that easily. I shoved him some more and finally looked at his face. He looked worse than I did. "I said get off me!"

He let go. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. He looked at me and it killed me. I was crying and hugging myself as he took a step back. Then, Topper was between us. He was protecting me, but it wasn't making me feel better. I began to walk to my car, needing to just get away from JJ. He ran after me though. He caught my arm and I pulled it away. I didn't want him touching me right now. I didn't want him looking at me with those baby blue eyes of his. I didn't want to melt back into him when he hasn't been here for me.

"I just had to make sure you were okay," he said. "Rafe's back and I had to see you."

"I already saw him," I said, glancing over my shoulder. He looked at me nervously. I shook my head. "Trust me JJ, he can't hurt me any more than you did."

I wiped my tears and walked to my car. I sat in the driver seat and cried into my steering wheel. I was falling apart, just like I thought I would if I saw him. I knew I needed to talk to him, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I wiped my tears and realized I had to figure out something bigger than Rafe Cameron and JJ. Right now, I just needed to figure out what I was going to do about my home life.

I drove home and reluctantly got out. When I got there, my mom's bags were packed. She looked at me and told me that she was going to stay in White Chapel with my aunt. She told me that I should visit on the weekends and see Jasper as well. She told me that I needed to stay at the Carrera's house. They were happy to let me stay with them and I wasn't to argue with her. I saw how upset she was and I couldn't bring myself to fight with her right now. She handed me the bags she had packed for me and sent me on my way.

I drove into the driveway and Kiara was home. I could see her long curly hair in the living room. I knocked on the door. She welcomed me in and showed me to the room I'd be staying in. I nodded, choosing not to say anything. I was emotionally drained at this point and I just couldn't. I put my suitcase on the bed and began to unpack, expecting her to leave, but she didn't. She just watched me unpack. I knew she wanted to ask me the real reasons I was here. I knew she wanted to know how bad it was at home, but she didn't say anything. I turned around to look at her.

"He drinks all the time," I said quietly. She moved into the room and closed the door, not saying a word. She sat at the vanity and looked at me. "He doesn't remember it in the morning, but he doesn't care. If he didn't think I was nothing before, now he does. When he drinks, he goes into this blackout rage. I wish he would just hit me. I wish he would because that means I'm at least worth getting up and hitting."

"Savannah-" she tried to say. I knew there was no emotion on my face as I stared at the wall in front of me. I stared into the mirror on the way and hated what I saw.

"Instead, he shatters glass," I said. "He throws bottles and glasses, anything he could get his hands on. My mom just watched and begged him to stop. She never did anything to help me."

"Sav," she said. I closed my eyes just in case any tears were to form.

"It's not fair for you to think I wasn't suffering," I said. "We all gave things up to help John and Sarah and just because I didn't know them as well, does not mean I didn't suffer too."

There was a long pause as we just stared at each other. She looked guilty and I knew there was no point torturing her anymore. I only had one more thing to say before I dropped my hostile attitude. We needed to be on good terms if I was going to stay here for the unforeseeable future.

"The whole time I was going through this I only had one thought," I said, choking up for the first time in this conversation. "I just wanted my friends by my side."

I felt the dam break and tears flooded down my face. I felt her arms around me and I cried into her shoulder. She whispered apologies and together we cried. We cried tears of regret and guilt, but we also mended something that had been broken for too long.