Corona VS Love

When She opened up

A week later, 20.December.2019
Friday, 9:37 PM
Since our reckless night together, I hadn't seen or heard anything from her, I went to the café and she wasn't there at all. Every night I sat on the same spot in her café, yet she was like a dream to me.
My expectations were very high reaching the sky and the worst of all was that I was lost without her.
I couldn't stop thinking about her and I missed her wild presence around me.
I didn't have her number, address or anything except this café.
That night, I decided to go home early. I went home, taking the stairs and opening the doors with putting the keys on the nearby table.
I headed to Lora's Room but she wasn't there, I shouted at her multiple times but no response back from her.
She must've gone out tonight..
I called her on the phone but she didn't answer either.
No need to worry! She would call you soon, I thought.
I opened my Mac, trying to distract my mind from thinking about Lora...and Abby!
Playing chess, no problem with that.
I'm a miserable person, I thought.
My phone beeped, looking at phone's screen, it said 'Liam Lancaster' my oldest dearest friend in high school.
"Liam Lancaster!! What a weird surprise?!"
"Hey, Samuel! What's app, Mann!? How's life treating ya?!"
"Well, if kicking my ass is a good thing, then I'm totally okay."
"Oh, man! Depression alarm here! Cheer up a little, hang out with friends and people, man."
"We all Tryin"
"Well! I know it's been along time since we spoke but I want to invite you to my wedding."
"Congratulations, Man! Who's the unlucky bride?!"
"Hahaha, very funny! It's Ava Mason from high school, do you remember her?"
"Yeah yeah, she was your girlfriend back then in high school and she's about to be Mrs, Lancaster! I'm happy for you, man! Truly"
"Thanks! The wedding will be held in Roma, from the 10th to 15th of January, I'd appreciate it if you came!"
"Ahh! I don't know if weddings are good for me, Liam."
"At least think about it."
"Okay."
"And you can bring your partner, her name is Maya, isn't it?"
"No! We broke up long time ago."
"Oh. Sorry to hear that."
"Whatever! I'm better off anyways! Just like the old times, free and not interested."
"Yeah. It was nice talking to you, Sam."
"You too, Liam"
By that I hang up, memories fetching my thoughts once again.
_______________________________
11.May.2011
Wednesday, Resonance High School,
"Samuel Awesome Louis Aaron! Every girl loves him yet he loves no one but himself." Liam shouted at me while we were in the middle of the hallway, I put my hand on his mouth, laughing, "shh! Man. You spoil the fun already! What's wrong with being free man!?"
"I'm having fun making fun of your weirdness."
Ava showed up from the open door in front of us, taking her away to Liam and kissing him on the cheek while he surrounded his hand around her waist, "hey, babe!"
"Hey, sweetheart!"
"Hey, Sam!" She said. I waved at her involuntarily.
"You know, Mia was asking about you today."
"Tell her I'm not"
"Not what?!"
"Interested." I said, smiling not giving much of a thought about the situation.
"Your loss."
"Yeah yeah."
________________
"Sam, Sam wake up." I opened my eyes, with Lora's hand on my shoulder.
I straightened up myself, "what?"
"You fell asleep on the couch."
"Where were you?"
"I was at Emma's, her daughter's birthday was today, remember? I told you that in the morning."
"Oh, yes! You told me. I totally forgot"
I stood up, making my way to the bathroom after looking at my watch. It was 11:53 PM with one missed called from unknown number.
All my thoughts combined together where I was sure by 90% this number was Abby's.
After finishing up in the bathroom, I went to the balcony where I could say Hi to the beautiful sea.
I missed you, i whispered to her.
I called the unknown number, waiting for an answer.
Every second passing I was losing hope until I heard her voice on the other side, "Hello, Sam!" Her voice was sleepy and broken.
"Hey! Did I wake you up?"
"I need to see you."
"Now?!"
"Yes."
"Where do you wanna meet?"
"Anywhere" her voice was intermittent, inside she was falling apart yet outside she was hard as stone.
"I'll send you the GPS on this number."
"Okay."
By that the conversation was ended but the one with Lora was about to begin. I went inside the apartment, "I'm going out."
"Now?"
"Yes, to meet someone."
_________________________
On my watch, it was 12:15 AM when I arrived to my favorite spot on the beach. It was an ancient wooden bench laying there on the sidewalk. The bench was eaten by humidity and salt water.
I approached it and seated myself in one corner. I come here at midnight when I want to be alone and think quietly.
There was no sound but the wind-blow and sea crushing to the shore.
Few houses were here too but there was no one outside right now, everything around me was quiet.
I was waiting for Abby to show up till I heard the engine soothed down behind me followed by footsteps of someone.
Seconds had passed then she appeared and seated herself in the other corner leaving a good distance between us.
I didn't mind that.
The wind was quieter today so was the sea, Abby was quiet too.
She was ignoring my presence, only looked up once to make sure that I was truly Sam, not kidnapper or raper. Other than that, she didn't look and her posture was towards the sea in front, She was staring at her and I was staring at Abby herself.
Her blonde hair was held up by a clip today, she was wearing her eyeglasses and flowery yellowish dress ended just beneath her knees, which was partially covered from above with black leather Jacket. Her feet was covered with her favorite black half-boot as well as wearing her flowerlike earrings.
She was gorgeous in every way. However her body language exposed her fears, insecurities and grieve.
She was in pain despite all the efforts she had done to cover it up.
"Wearing eyeglasses? I'm surprised." I said, enlightening the darkness she had felt inside, she nodded yet her gaze was still on the sea.
I remained silent, giving her the space she asked for with her silent eyes.
"Wanna know something weird?" She said.
"Sure."
"I couldn't stop thinking about you this week."
"You wanna know something weirder?" She waited for me to tell her, "I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole week too."
She laughed and I joined her afterwards.
"Are you okay now? You know..about your sister and all."
"Yes and no. Her funeral is next Sunday."
"You can talk about it if you want." Abby's eyes met mine for half a minute, her hazel wide eyes on mine with few tears running down her cheeks.
She sighed, breaking our eye contact, returning to the sea with her gaze and holding on to her leather jacket with her hands as if she were afraid to open up.
"Sandy and I weren't that close growing up but when we discovered her illness, it was like a sign for us to get closer and really be sisters and we became each other's best friend.....but I didn't know it would be the same reason for me to crush today." She stopped to exchange glances between me and the sea.
"Sandy was diagnosed with breast cancer. The doctors were preparing us for the worst but also giving us a hope, the odds were fifty fifty.. I don't know but I was ready to let her go truly I was! But when it happened I was in total disbelief like I was holding on to hope that she would be better. We were too late and the cancer was already spread all over her body and that's it."
I said nothing.
Really nothing, only listening to her.
"And Do you know what the craziest part was?!",I shrugged my shoulders.
"Being far away from you made the pain all worse." Then she added after pause, "I just wanted to know if your presence really changes my mood or it's just luck."
"Well I don't know about the last part but I do understand your grieve and what you're feeling right now." I said, words betraying me.
"You didn't show up in the café" I added then continued, "I didn't have your number or Address or anyway to reach you."
"I needed to be alone and think about stuff..also I wanted to make you miss me." She smiled briefly.
"You are evil."
"I know"
"Well! Not 100% evil, maybe 80% or sth."
We both laughed for awhile,
"But seriously I didn't miss you." I lied.
"Really?"
"Yeesss! Why would i miss you?! We met a couple of times only." She smirked as if she was telling me she accepted the game I was playing.
"I didn't miss you either." She lied, I knew that for a fact.
"Fair enough." We smiled nervously at each other for split of second.
"Abby"
"mmm"
"I want to comfort you but I don't know how."
"Staying here with me is all I need right now okay?" She gave me a warm grateful smile.
I wanted to hold her hands but I backed away from the thought.
She was a beautiful dream but I didn't know if I was ready to approach someone after Maya. The silence between us was building something inside me that I didn't want.. certain feelings were growing inside that I didn't want. It was such a weird vibe built between us, I didn't know if it was good or bad anyway.
I just wanted to be there for her not to be with her in addition to that, I didn't want to build up her expectations very high.
"I gotta go." I urged myself to stand up, heading towards my Corolla.
"You are leaving? Her eyes were speaking so many languages right now.  I didn't want her to see me as a bad heartless person
I let her down once.
She-of all people- was the one I didn't want to disappoint the most. Her hazel eyes were the ones that could control me and my action.
I closed my eyes, my back at her, letting go of my trapped breath. I opened the passenger seat door, taking out that portrait then the shut the door behind me.
"I'm not going anywhere." Then I added, "I brought you something..it might cheer you up."
The portrait was on my hand, on the other hand, her eyes were on mine and I could swear her eyes were smiling and enlightened when she saw the portrait,
Her freckles shining under her eyes and decorating her petite red nose.
I offered her the portrait to see its details, with that there was no distance between us anymore. Nervousness was building inside me and my heartbeats were high and rapid.
Her face roaming in such portrait, in which was the one I wanted to draw when we were together that night. It was her face in darkness yet there was small light coming from the moonlight above her and the sea behind her and her hair was everywhere around as an indicator for the strong wind, That was the portrait.
She would never know that I drew another one only showing her facial expressions and details and how her face looked like in my perspective. I wanted to leave that one with me for a while.
"Samuel." My whole name was soft upon her voice, her innocent pure -wet now- eyes staring at mine.
If I were honest with myself, this was the moment I knew I'd fallen down my knees for that woman, but I didn't admit it, not even to myself.
"Yes"
"This is the most beautiful thing anyone has done for me." For a moment she let down her walls, her eyes gave her away and I was sure mine gave me away too.
My heart was aching to the fact that we were very close, breathing the same air. I stepped away, putting a proper distance again, and she rested her head on my shoulder.
And I realized that I had never felt so safe and calm for a long time.