this shit messes with my head
the only home i know is my bed
too lazy for suicide
i just watch the days pass hoping to die
—
during the follow day at lunch, calum and i kept looking at each other, catching the attention of everyone else.
luke and michael were both about to day something when calum spoke up before them. "i went over to ashton's yesterday, and we talked about a out of a stuff. i'm not saying that he should tell you guys everything, but" he turned to me with a pleading look on his face, "he should at least tell you guys something, just, something."
i let out a sigh before speaking. "fine. my insecurities are spiking, my mom got a shít boyfriend and she's not even talking to me, i felt like all of you guys were pushing me away from you, oh yeah, and i'm gay."
michael seemed disappointed and surprised, whereas luke looked sad and then mad. "ashton, i am so sorry that we didn't push you to tell us, and it seemed like we were ignoring you. we all-"
"don't care." everyone turned to luke with a questioning look. he just rolled his eyes and continued talking towards me. "we don't care. especially now that your gay. ugh, that's disgusting." we all kind of knew what luke would say, but it was still shocking to hear our loud. we all turned to him, hoping that he was joking. when we realized that he wasn't, sierra grabbed her hand from luke's and stood up.
"how dare you. your friend shares something really important with you, and that's how you react. ashton is amazing for being himself, you are disgusting for acting like this. and if you couldn't tell, we're over. and fyi, i'm bisexual, so that means i'm disgusting to you as well." my jaw was basically on the floor listening to her. i had never liked her more than in this moment. she finally turned to me, making me flinch...she was a little scary. "and ashton, congratulations for being yourself, i hope you fine someone that deserves you." she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, slapping luke in the face before walking away.
he sat there holding his cheek with his mouth wide open before he went to speak. when he did though, michael cut him off. "don't. just go."
his eyebrows furrowed together, and he went to speak again, and was cut off, again.
"luke, of course you didn't know, but calum and i are dating. and if that is how you truly feel about the lgbtq+ community, then you can just leave now, and never talk to any of us again." luke stood up, and threw his backpack over his shoulder angrily. when he was out of sight, i let out the tears i didn't know i was holding in.
i put my face in my hands to cover my face from anyone else. a minute later, i felt calum and michael on both of my sides. "ash, don't be upset over him, he's not worth it. if he can't except for loving someone, then he's not really your best friend." i let out more tears, and calmed down after a little.
"i k-know, but i thought that he would've at least accepted me. was i not his best friend anymore?" i could sense that michael and calum didn't know what to say, so i got up and left with a i'll see you guys later.
little did ashton know that luke was in the closest hallway, crying his eyes out.
—
YOU ARE READING
lonely ~ lashton
Fanfiction"so sick and tired of being alone. so long farewell i'm on my own." ashton's alone. he doesn't want to let anyone in. that means that luke will try to push himself in.
