you broke my heart when you left me
was just waiting, was just waiting
i pop these pills to waste some time
as i'm faded, as i'm faded
—
ashton's pov
—
i am currently at school, trying to avoid luke. i have no idea what the fuck happened yesterday. ben had finished yelling at luke, and then we talked, and then.... it all happened.
"so, do you want to watch tv? a movie?"
"i just don't get it luke. i get it your family couldn't find out, but why did you push me away? you could've still been secret friends or something at least. but you treated me like shit and didn't care."
"ash, that's it, i told you. why can't you just accept it?!"
"because it's kind of hard to accept that the one person that always promised they would be there wasn't, and not only not there for me, but making my life a living hell, luke!" luke was covering his face and avoiding all eye contact with me, so I figured i would let it all out now.
"i'm not just gonna let that go. how do i know you're going to act fine with me at school now? how do i know that we're still best friends? i loved you luke, and you threw me away. threw me away just because i wanted to love others." after i said that, luke looked he was about to cry and scream at me at the same time.
"what?"
without another word, he lunged forward and kissed me.
it took me a minute to come to my sense, and push him away. i probably looked scared because luke instantly started apologizing.
"ashton, i am so sorry, i didn't mean to-" i cut him off before he could finish his bullshit excuse.
"didn't mean to what? to kiss me? because you can't take that back now, you fucking hypocrite. you treated me like shit for the very thing you just did!"
"let me explain-"
"NO! YOU DON'T GET TO TALK RIGHT-"
"ASHTON! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!"
i instantly stopped and just stood there with a shocked face. i couldn't take it, so i just ran. out of the house, to calum's.
i didn't know what had happened, so i told him everything. he had told me that he suspected the luke of being in love with me too. but after he saw how tired i was, we went to bed.
but in the midst of my freak out, i forgot my phone, wallet, and keys. so even though i want to be avoiding him, i need my stuff back.
i was walking through the halls when i saw him talking to michael. apparently they were on good terms now. he turned and saw me, proceeding to say bye to michael and walk over.
"ashton, i just wanted-"
"to give me my stuff back, that's it. no talking." he looked a little hurt, but still handed me all of my stuff back.
"thanks. bye." i turned, but he grabbed my wrist to stop me.
"ash please. please can we talk." i thought about it for a second, and i mean, i can at least let him explain.
"bathroom. and you only get 5 mins." he nodded, and quickly pulled me to the bathroom. when we made it, he let go, and turned before taking a deep breath.
"okay, so the reason i kissed you is because i'm in love with you, and i've been in love with you for i don't know how many years at this point. but i found out that my dad and jack beat up some guy and his boyfriend that they saw on the street. it scared me, so i started dating sierra, and that's when they were finally happy with me. they kept telling me, "thank god, we thought you were gay", or "if you would've been gay, we would've killed you." so i cut you out so that you wouldn't come over, so that they wouldn't hurt you. it was terrible how i treated you, but i just didn't know what to do, but that is absolutely no excuse and i am so sorry. it's okay if you don't forgive me."
it took me a second to let that all sink in, but when i did, i stepped forward and kissed him. i kissed like we were about to die. as if we were the only two on the planet. he responded quickly, pulling me in closer. we pulled away for breath, and put our foreheads against each other.
"i thought that you were one of them. that you hated me."
"no, never. i love you ashton." i pulled back, and stared into his ocean blue eyes. the ones i always loved.
"i love you luke." he looked taken back a little, but smiled nonetheless.
after a second of us standing there, i stepped back a little bit.
his smile faltered a little bit, and he looked concerned. "is something wrong?"
"everything just seems perfect. way too perfect. something bad is bound to happen." it didn't seem real.
"what if everything is just supposed to be perfect? can't we let it be?" he had a point.
"yeah. we can." he pulled me into a hug and whispered into my ear.
"it can be even more perfect."
"how?" he pulled away, and grabbed my face in between both of his hands.
"ashton irwin, will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?" i nodded, and kissed him. this all seemed so surreal. but maybe things were just starting to look up for me. maybe this was the start to being happy. happy with my love.
-
we told calum and michael at lunch. they obviously had some words for luke, but then we were back to how we all used to be...except for the fact that we were all dating each other.
maybe i won't be so lonely.
—
sorry this took so long :-(, and i'm sorry if it's bad. but i hope everyone had an amazing christmas, or anything else you celebrate, and wonderful new year. thanks loves <3
YOU ARE READING
lonely ~ lashton
Fiksi Penggemar"so sick and tired of being alone. so long farewell i'm on my own." ashton's alone. he doesn't want to let anyone in. that means that luke will try to push himself in.
