daydreaming of my funeral
like who would show, bet no one would go
hey dad, would you show up for me now?
just to bury your little boy in the ground
—
ashton's pov again
WARNING: some offensive language is used, and it is just for story purposes, i love, accept, and support everyone :-)
—
it was around 7 in the morning when i was woken up by a loud slam and yelling.
"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO LAST NI- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?"
there was luke's mom liz, the notorious homophobe.
"MOM! WHY ARE YOU YELLING???"
"BECAUSE YOU ARE CUDDLING A BOY IN YOUR BED LIKE A FAGGOT, AND YOU DISAPPEARED AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT WITHOUT TELLING ANY OF US YOU WERE LEAVING OR WHERE YOU WERE GOING."
"MOM! IT'S JUST ASHTON! i had to pick him up from a bar. he was having some problems so he called me asking if i could pick him up. you know him, we're okay."
"oh! ashton dear, i am so sorry. i just thought that luke maybe picked up some boy to have sex with, which will also never happen." out of the corner of my eye i just saw luke roll his eyes in response to her.
"mom, i know we have school today, but can ashton and i stay home? he probably has a massive headache and hangover, and i'm tired. please?"
"of course honey. you know you can just always ask. i'll be back with some meds for ashton, and then you guys can go right back to sleep. i'll also call you both out when i get to work." such a shame that such a sweet lady can have such ugly thoughts about amazing people.
after his mom walked out and came back a minute later with my pills and water, she was out the door again to work. luke just walked back over to bed, got back in, and pulled me closer to him without saying anything. i laid my head on his chest, and slowly began to fall asleep again.
"thank you." i felt him move his head since i was on his chest. he never responded, but he knew what i meant.
-
i woke up for the second time to the sun coming through the curtains, the smell of bacon, and an empty bed. i sat up and stretched before reaching over to grab my phone. i checked the time realizing it was 10:45, and put it on the charger seeing that it was also at 2%. i didn't want to get out of the warm bed, especially since it smelled like my crush, but i eventually forced myself to.
when i got to the kitchen, i was met with the sight of luke's shirtless back. instead of staring at my old best friend, (still) crush, and the person who was a complete piece of shit to me over my sexuality.
"ahEM." luke jumped and turned around with a hand over his heart accompanied by wide eyes.
"jeez ash. you can't do that."
"no, yOu can't do that."
"do what?"
"you can't act like nothing happened between us. you threw me away! just because i want to love someone else. what the hell is that? it doesn't affect you in any way and yet you still walked away from me! i was already struggling with myself, my mom, my fucking sexuality, and you just added on. you were one of my reasons! and then turned into an opposite one for crying out loud! if that's how things are going to stay, then thank you for breakfast, i'm leaving now. bye."
as i was walking out, luke sped-walked over to me and grabbed my wrist before i could get very far.
"ash. please listen to me. i have to explain some things to you." i quickly ripped my wrist from his grasp and slapped him across the face. yeah, it might've not been necessary, but i had a lot of pent up anger from him.
he let go of me and held his hand to his face. "okay, i deserved that."
"yeah. i know. and what. what could you possibly say to me that will make me not hate you." he sighed and walked over to the kitchen table. he sat down and then looked at me with a dumb expression.
"i didn't just want to sit down, we're talking." i slowly walked over and took a seat across from him and crossed my arms. he looked at me a little worried, but i kept a blank face.
"i'd start talking if i were you." he finally stopped staring and started talking.
"i am so so so sorry, for everything." i rolled my eyes at him, which made him frown.
"i mean it. i am so very sorry ash. it's just, i couldn't be friends with you because if my mom, dad, or brothers found out, they would kill me."
"found out what?" luke's oldest brother ben walked in. out of all of him family, i liked ben the most, he was always so cool and would never join in on the degrading of the lgbtq community. luke on the other hand, freaked out, and jumped up from his chair.
"NOTHING!" i face-palmed as ben started laughing.
"that is probably the most suspicious reaction and answer i have ever heard in my life. anyways. ash, how ya been? you haven't been over recently." he frowned a little, but still came to the table and sat next to luke across from me.
"i've been going through some stuff. just a little hard. been trying to find someone, no luck." i saw luke make a face out of the corner of my eye, but i didn't say anything about it. ben just sighed and leaned in his elbow with his cheek on his palm.
"tell me about it. no cute guys around here. really annoying." my eyes widened, as well as luke's while ben burst out laughing.
"oh yeah, forgot to mention, i'm gay, and ash, i could tell you were gay since you were 10. so what actually happened between you two." i started smiling, and then just looked towards luke. he looked a little uncomfortable, but started talking nonetheless.
and damn, i have never heard ben yell at luke that much ever.
—
YOU ARE READING
lonely ~ lashton
Fanfiction"so sick and tired of being alone. so long farewell i'm on my own." ashton's alone. he doesn't want to let anyone in. that means that luke will try to push himself in.
