Numb

13. The Birds And The Bees

SEX TALK WARNINGGGGGG

KINKY SHIT

ALSO SHORT CHAPTER SORRY LUVS

Two months pass, and Dave just becomes sadder. Joel does too - he realises he's damaging his health with stress and stops uploading daily videos. He talks to Felix about the problems they share, like being drained from daily videos and trying to get their partners pregnant, and also said partners spending more time with each other than their respective jealous Swede. He speaks to his best friend about his other issues though - and no, while Dave is one of his best friends he can't speak to Dave about his love issues. So of course he talks to Jonas.

They meet up and go out to get junk food and sit in a park like some lame sad teenagers.

"He's becoming obsessed. It seems to be all he thinks about. I mean- it's keeping him out of a depressive slump, but I'm scared if he doesn't get pregnant he'll fall into a worse one. I don't know what to do." Jonas looks at Joel thoughtfully.

"You're really stressed about this, huh. Y'know that won't be helping."

"I know, I know. But when you're told stress is bad for the thing you're stressed about it makes you more stressed."

"I can see that being a problem. In what way is he obsessed, let's see if you can help stop it being his only fixation." Jonas smiles kindly.

"I don't know. It's like everything he does or says is 'for the baby.' I ask him what he's cooking - yeah, he's started cooking - and he'll be like 'oh, vegan lasagne. Full of good things for pregnancy!' 'What are you reading?' 'Research on babies.' I'll make a move on him and he's all like 'oh yes, baby, baby baby!' He can't do anything without making it about the baby! I'm fed up of sex because its so baby-centred for Dave! He doesn't even care about getting off, just that I cum in him. I'm sick of it!" he snaps his mcflurry spoon (God I miss Maccies) in frustration. Jonas looks disgusted and mildly traumatised.

"TMI Joel. Gross. I could've done without having to think about you dropping your load in Dave." Joel sobers up off his rant high and laughs.

"Damn sorry. That's gotta be nasty for you."

"You don't even know." Jonas shudders, with a pained expression. "Well let's get it over with. Sex-"

"Sorry Jonas, you're not my type." Joel giggles immaturely.

"Shut up. You weren't saying that when you fondled my boobs." Jonas teases. "What I was trying to say is what do you want from sex and what does Dave want - so you can find a middle ground." Jonas makes a face that screams 'I'm uncomfortable.' Joel looks at him in pity.

"You don't want to know."

"No, I'm your best friend, I'm here for your problems." Joel looks at him in disbelief, then shrugs.

"Fine. But you signed up for this." He warns. Jonas stays determined and undeterred. "What I want in sex is to make Dave feel good. And get off. But mainly the first. What Dave wants is to be impregnated."

"What do you mean 'make Dave feel good?'" Jonas regrets the question as soon as it's out of his mouth.

"I made him cum eight times in one night all in different ways, which I think answers your question." Joel turns rather red.

"Was that uh, Felix's wedding night by any chance?" Jonas looks disgusted, remembering Joel saying something about how good that night was.

"No, different night. That was good though. He made me swallow my jizz in a room full of people, so I had to punish him. I tied him up - sorry you really don't need to know." Jonas looks very close to bursting into flames, or being sick.