Sanscest Oneshots

First Impressions

Requested by Internet_stranger

MafiaLust

(Mafiatale sans x Underlust sans)

Word prompt: prostitution

Maybe Lust had to admit it was a terrible idea to start working in the multiverse. Though, it wasn't like he had much of a choice.

Decent, well paying jobs within his own universe were far and few between, so he had initially started taking jobs out of universe via offering the occasional "paid service" to those he found interested; he hadn't expected it to go so well. Sure there were quite a few who would choose to describe him as 'deplorable' but there were still those interested in the more savory things the multiverse had to offer. His name slowly made it around and he got propositioned more and more, so he decided what was keeping him from doing it full time?

With the amount of dangerous monsters in the multiverse of course there was a chance of running into the wrong universe, but much too small in Lust's mind for him to have thoroughly considered the idea of any danger.

Given a little push and a bit of his own self advertisement, his name and recommendations had gotten him quite a few well paying gigs. His brother had been a bit hesitant at first but had soon become comfortable with the idea with each day Lust came home unharmed. Granted, little bruised and perhaps bittened, but never in particularly bad shape.

Hell, it must have been safe enough work because in his time traveling and becoming acquainted with the multiverse, he'd met a few other Lustverse skeletons who had found it more profitable to work out of universe. Worked with a few of them, even.

So at the moment, this was Lust's justification for why he was standing on a street corner in a fairly nowhere universe. At least it was to him, seeing he hadn't yet been cultured in the workings of multiversal ongoings; but he hadn't heard of a universe by the name of "mafiatale" anytime lately.

It seemed pretty old timey looking for a surface AU, but Lust hardly minded as long as the night went by quickly.

His name had conveniently fallen into the lap of a sans he had heard paid very well and he was willing to waltz into a lesser known, and maybe even sketchy universe if the rumor held true.

As he waited on the fairly open street corner, Lust took amusement in how he was gawked at by humans and monsters alike for his more or less unsual style of dress. It was completely their problem and truly a shame if they had never seen a slut before.

Just on the verge of looking a tad too suspicious for standing on a corner idle for so long, a car rolled up to the curb.

Not being well versed in cars from his limited time on the surface in various AUs, the thing looked expensive enough in Lust's opinion, at least for the era the universe appeared to be set in. Assuming it was his ride, Lust approached the car slowly with an air of confidence as a window rolled down.

He was greeted with the thick smell of cigar smoke and costly liquor as he peered inside curiously, and a gravelly voice rumbled out.

"Would I be right to assume that yer Lust?"

Lust winked, trying not to feel intimidated by the way smooth, self assured eyes cut to him. "Right on the nose, darling. You know my prices right?"

"Of course, 600G a night in well yearned money."

"6000G," he corrected.

It was a bold faced lie, and one Lust frankly struggled to regret. In his defense, it was a pretty cheap rate- he'd heard of some who charged hundreds by the hour.  His usual prices were low, maybe shamefully so. So who was anyone to judge him if he raised his prices when approached by someone with so much money and who happened to be so desperate to share it?

He was no stranger to servicing men in nice fancy suits who purred to him, reeking of expensive cologne. He was well acquainted enough to know that they had little enough regard for money to make squeezing a few extra hundred out of them to be an easy job. Though this guy seemed like a nice person to have as a more long term customer- he didn't want to come off as overzealous.

"6000G a night?" He chuckled. "Well my friend must have lied to me."

Having his lie called out, Lust decided to drop the con, instead opting for a different strategy.

"Can't slick a can of oil, huh?" He leaned into the car, lowering his voice to a coy whisper. "But I still didn't take you as a cheapskate."

Azure eyelights looked him up and down, before ushering him back and opening the door. Lust didn't hesitate to climb onto leather seats beside him.

It was easier to see the sans in the dim light that filtered in through tinted windows now. He was pretty casually dressed for the time sporting a blue button down with a gray vest and slacks, but he still managed to come off as elegant and poised while he twirled a black fedora in his hands.

"6000G it is then, doll."

Plucking at their pride always worked like a charm.

"Doll?"  He wasn't surprised, it wasn't rare for people to confuse his gender. "I think you're gonna be disappointed to find out I'm a guy, sweetheart," but for the right price Lust could be anything he wanted.

"Well a cheap whore's still a cheap whore ain't it?"

"Hardly."

"Well if you don't mind me askin, if you aren't a cheap whore then what are you?

Lust pretended to ponder for a moment before turning cheeky eyes back to him. "An expensive one"

The sans snickered, and rolled up the window as the car began to roll.

"Call me Chief," he said, smiling a smug, shit-eating grin. "Me 'n you are gonna get along just fine."

A/N: Even though it's not all that shippy, it's still illegal how much fun I had writing this, I might continue a short story for these two. The dynamic is simply iconic. Chief's a smug bastard and Lust's a cheeky bastard. They're both silver tongued con artists when they need to be, though.