She felt someone looking at her while she sat down, introducing herself to Mr and Mrs Thorton. It took a few moments for her to see the boy sitting across from her. They made eye contact that lasted longer than it should have. That was him. The boy who held the door for her on Monday morning, who interrupted her math class, and took the seat close to hers. It was him, and he was in her house. She didn't know if it should have been awkward, because it wasn't. Or if she was supposed to be pleasantly surprised, because she wasn't. Their moment had been obstructed when a bowl of salad was passed in her direction. Then it was over. She could almost feel him watching her, but it didn't bother her the way it should have. Her plate was still half empty once she had judged every food on the table, but that was fine with her. She knew Sophia would say nothing in the presence of their neighbours, perhaps, she would say nothing at all. Eating disorders weren't the norm for dinner conversation, and she had learned nothing from Rachael Ray about how to incorporate them, the way she did with seafood and spices with name's she couldn't pronounce There was a lot of polite dinner conversation, it was the kind you could expect from her mom. There was laughing, while her and Ben both stayed quiet, occasionally making eyes across the table. She yanked at the sleeves of her sweater while she was eating, her insecurities taking over her. If it weren't for the guests she would have been sitting cross-legged in her pyjamas. She thought for a second about lifting her knees, and crossing her feet under them, but then she thought better.
Her family always made sure they ate dinner together, on the exception of some nights where Craig worked crazy hours, and the odd time when Sophia actually stayed at work. It was the only time of day where all five of them were together and in the same room. Most nights she ate like this, only filling half of her plate. She ate slowly so no one would notice the lack of food she was consuming. There was an uncomfortable anxious that took over with their new dinner guests. She never liked people watching her eat, or watching her at all for that matter. She wanted to down a couple glasses of wine and call it a night.
She didn't drink much, or at all really. No one ever asked her to a party where she could find herself holding someone's hair back at two o'clock in the morning, and she didn't have friends to go out with. On occasion Sophia would let her have glasses of wine, and her lack of body-mass was unfriendly. On holidays she would have champagne, and she had the occasional cooler during summer barbecues that always left her sitting in her room alone by the end of the night, watching the fire and the cheerful people from the distance and safety of her bedroom window. She wished that she had someone to enjoy those things with, but only sometimes, and never for very long.
Sophia sparked a revetting conversation about their imported tile. She didn't understand what it was about fabulous mothers and their eye for expensive, posh furniture It didn't matter what the occasion was, but all women had a tendency to find a way to discuss come décor and how many shades of beige there were in the world. Just before she was going to ask to be excused Sophia began to push dessert.
'I'm full,' she smiled at mom, hoping she could get herself out of the situation and hide away in her room.
'Me too, thank you though.' She looked up at Ben sitting across from her, and tried not to stare. She stood up, playing with the hem of her sweater, adjusting it's length.
'Day, why don't you show Ben around?' Sophia offered, followed by an awkward pause. She thought she'd survived the dinner and she was hoping that now she could take her make-up off and spend the rest of the night in her room alone. She smiled, and ended the moment of uncanny silence with a sure. She didn't watch the way his face lit up, as she was avoiding eye contact, missing the show of his dimples at the sound of her voice. Sophia winked at her, as he followed her out of the room. The silence was uncomfortable as he followed her out into the hall. What was it that Sophia wanted her to show him? The vague command was not appreciated She may have been the single most awkward person, but she wasn't, he was. There was no idea to what was expected of her. It wasn't until they were at the top of the stairs, when the silence was broken.
