What we become

16. Watermelon sugar

I drove home first, changed and spent some time with my family. I wasn't sure how to break the news to them, but I was sure they could pick up on my nerves. After about an hour of being there, I got up the courage to broach the topic with them.

"So, I have figured out what I'm going to do next year. I'm going to travel through Europe." I blurted out; so much for gently working my way up to it. I watched as the expression on their faces changed from smiling and excited to surprised and confused. "I haven't figured out all of the details yet, but I want to go. Also, I'm 18 now," I said quickly, reminding them that not only was I legally an adult, but it was also my birthday and not shatter my dreams.

"It's not safe to travel Europe alone, El." Dad started.

"I won't be alone." I told them and took a big breath. "I met someone. Well, not just someone. I met Harry Styles."

"Oh," mum sighed, but she seemed disappointed. "You're going to follow him around as he tours?"

"Well yes," I said, smiling that she got it.

"With Jess?" Mum asked. Okay, maybe she didn't quite get it.

"No, with Harry." I said, then added "and the rest of One Direction. Plus, his tour managers and everyone else on the team will obviously be there."

"I understand you may want a year off to find yourself Ella, but I will admit, I had higher expectations for you. Is that what you really want? You and hundreds of other girls to follow them around wherever they go, like super fans? Like a groupie?" Mum asked. Okay, she really, really didn't get it.

"No," I exclaimed so loudly it startled them. "As his girlfriend," I clarified, in a quieter, even tone, trying to regain my dignity. But the word girlfriend just of hung in the air. Was I really his girlfriend? We hadn't had that talk yet. Honestly, I was afraid to have that conversation.

"Wait... what?" Mum asked, unable to keep up.

I sighed and started from the start, omitting the pieces that weren't PG-friendly or necessary for my parent's ears.

When Harry joined us for lunch, he was exactly how I imagined he would be around my parents; energetic, charismatic, goofy, and funny. He also knew when to pull it all in and show them his mature side. He was so normal, he could have been any boy I was bringing home to meet my parents, but he wasn't. He was a member of arguably the world's biggest, most popular boy band. Watching Harry so at ease with my parents made me wonder what I would be like when meeting his mother and stepfather. I would probably be awkward and shy, the complete opposite to this born entertainer in front of me.

Mum and dad were watching him, their eyes alight with life and laughter as he spoke of the tour he had just been on. I hoped dad was thinking 'wow, what a professional, mature young man' as he listened to Harry's stories with an enthusiastic nod. But I knew mum was thinking 'what a catch!' by the way she looked at me and winked. Even my mother was under Harry's charming spell.

"We don't travel alone; we have our stylists, the support act, the crew, our manager- Paul- he is sort of like our tour dad." Harry continued, launching into a story of how Paul was forever trying to keep the boys aware of the time. I could picture it as he spoke. 'Five minutes to nine' Paul would warn as the boys goofed around on skateboards until the last minute, before they took their places on stage and the curtains rose to the roar of screaming fans. 

"Anyway," Harry concluded. "We may be just teenage boys, but we're also still professionals. It's all a bit of give and take. You've got to maintain some form of balance."

"That's right," dad launched into a big speech on the importance of balance, managing stress and expectation, and staying true to yourself. Harry nodded along, the two of them engrossed in another huge discussion. I was completely enamoured with the way Harry gave dad his undivided attention. He was just so normal, so down to earth.

We spent the rest of the day with my parents, Harry being a perfect gentleman in front of them, as maddening as that was. I could hardly wait to feel him inside of me again.

After dinner, mum pulled me aside, a worried look on her face. "I'm not sure about this Ella," she said.

"Why not, mum?" I asked, ready to defend myself. "I'm old enough to make this decision. I don't have any work or commitment keeping me here. I'll stay in touch and talk to you every day. I'll be surrounded by professional adults."

"No, Ella, darling." She placed her hand on mine and squeezed it tight. "I see the way you watch him. You react so automatically to him. You smile when he talks, your eyes light up when he enters the room. You even move when he moves, like a mirror image. You seem to revolve around Harry." 

Because he is the sun. 

Then I realised why she was saying this. She thought he was going to dump me; leave me all alone in the big foreign world of Europe. She had no faith it was going to work out.

"I know what I'm doing mum. If nothing else, this is a once in a lifetime adventure. I have to take it."

To my surprise, she nodded slowly. "I still want you to think about what life will look like after this gap year," she said cautiously. "I want you to really think hard about what it is that you want for yourself, for your future."

Harry, I thought. I want a future with Harry. I nodded and wrapped my arms around her in a big hug, thankful that she understood, even if she did still nag me about university and life after this year.

~

Finally, when we were back in the hotel, I tore at his clothes and pushed him down on the bed. I straddled him and we made love, sitting there on the edge of the bed, our bodies moving rhythmically together; the way they seemed to instinctively know. 

Afterwards, I showered and cleaned my teeth. When I came out, Harry was sitting in the living room, a guitar in hand and humming a melody; one I hadn't heard before.

"What is that?" I asked him.

"Something new," he replied and gently kissed me in the hollow under my earlobe.

"Sing it to me?"

"I haven't figured it all out," he admitted.

I turned to look at him and waited of him to continue. Then, he started to strum the guitar and shortly afterwards, he started to sing and I was mesmerised by his clear, sultry voice.

"Tastes like strawberries, on a summer evenin'... and it sounds just like a song. I want more berries and that summer feelin'... it's so wonderful and warm. Breathe me in, breathe me out, I don't know if I could ever go without. I'm just thinkin' out loud, I don't know if I could ever go without."

He looked at me, his eyes clear and vulnerable. "That's all I've go, so far."

"It's incredible." I whispered, in shock. 

He put the guitar down and walked towards me slowly, picking back up where had left off.

"Watermelon sugar high... watermelon sugar high." He sang as he approached me. I fell backwards onto the bed and he crawled over me slowly. 

"Watermelon sugar?" I asked, my eyebrows raised. I knew what he was singing about.

"Watermelon sugar," he nodded with a cheeky grin and disappeared underneath the sheets.

I felt his soft mouth on my stomach, then on the inside of my thigh. "I don't think that's 'PG' enough for One Direction."

Harry laughed and it sent shivers up my spine. Then I got lost in the moment.