What we become

8. Dazed and confused

The car ride to the party was very flirtatious. Every time we stopped at the traffic lights, Harry's eyes seemed to linger on me. The body language was undeniable; he was attracted to me tonight. I decided I would allow my mind to wander, just a little.

When we arrived at the party, it was 7.20pm and already in full blast. Jake's parents were rich and there was alcohol everywhere. Most of the people here were 18 already, but my birthday wasn't for another month. That wouldn't stop me from drinking tonight though. I wanted all the confidence I could get, because I was sure tonight would be the night we would finally kiss.

Jake's best-friend, Courtney, greeted us at the door. "Hey! Ella, you must drink on arrival! One compulsory shot!" Courtney giggled, waving her hand towards the copious amounts of alcohol on the bench and shot glasses lined up and ready to go. She pulled me in for a hug, then turned her attention to Harry. "Who is your- Holy shit!" I smiled at the look on her face when she saw Harry. Her jaw literally dropped.

"Oh, right." I said casually. "Courtney, this is Harry." Harry stepped forward to shake her hand. "Harry, this is Courtney."

"Pleasure," Harry said as Courtney shook his hand. Then she pulled him in and hugged him. He looked at me over her head and I knew what he was thinking. "You didn't tell anyone about me?" Harry whispered to me as Courtney let him go. I shook my head innocently. He was my secret after all. Up until now, obviously.

"I don't know whether to get you two a shot first or scream to everyone that Harry Styles is here." Courtney said, looking genuinely confused.

"Maybe a drink," I suggested, and Harry looked grateful.

Courtney led us over to the kitchen bench which was a makeshift bar and poured two shots. "Here's to a good night," I said, tapping my glass to Harry's. 

"Cheers," Harry replied as I tilted the shot glass to my lips. He watched me as I downed the liquid and he followed my lead, never taking his eyes off me. I placed the shot glass down on the table. The alcohol was strong and vile, but I swallowed it and tried not to shudder.

Jess bobbed up next to us and wrapped her arms around me.

"And I was like baby, baby, baby, ooh," she sang as she giggled to herself.

"That's no one of our songs," Harry laughed.

"Oh, I know." Jess said. "But you must get tired of everyone singing your songs to you. Where's Niall anyway?"

"On a plane," Harry replied.

"On his way?" Jess asked hopefully.

"To Sydney, yeah."

Jess looked devastated. "Harry, how does he know he's meant to marry me if he hasn't even met me properly yet?"

"Do you want me to tell him?" Harry asked, pulling his phone from his pocket.

"No, I will." Jess said and let go of her grip on me to take his phone. She looked at the photo on Harry's screen. It was my selfie at the beach, the photo I quickly snapped when I was flung over his shoulder. "What's your password?" She asked as she typed in 3552. It opened. "Oh my God, you two are so cute, I'm actually going to vomit."

Just then, Harry was swarmed by a bunch of girls from school and I decided to let them have their fun. Jake appeared beside me at the kitchen-bench-bar. 

"Hey, thanks for coming tonight," Jake said. I hadn't had much to do with him before, even though we had mutual friends at school. He was a quiet guy and usually kept to the 'boys club', except for Courtney and Sara. "Can I get you a drink?" he asked as he poured himself one. 

"Sure," I smiled.

"What's your poison?"

"Anything, really. I don't usually drink," I admitted, "so I don't really know."

"Well in that case, shall will go with a safe bet? Vodka raspberry," he said as he poured me a drink. 

"Here," he said passing me a red drink. "Matches your top." 

"Thanks," I laughed. I took a sip and looked up at Harry. The room was loud, and I couldn't hear what he was saying to the girls, but I loved watching him talk to them; he was so animated and charismatic. 

It took almost an hour for Harry to reach me. I had watched him the whole time, from the corner of my eye. I was aware of his every move and I could tell his eyes were almost always on me too. By that stage, Jess and I had mingled with most people at the party and we were both a few drinks in. I was feeling well and truly dazed and pleasantly confused from the alcohol.

I reapplied my strawberry coloured lipstick, which was slightly harder in my moderately intoxicated state, and poured another drink. I made my way over to him, through the crowd. "Hey," I said, passing him the drink and his phone, which I had swiped back from Jess some time ago.

"Hey," he said taking them from me, "and thanks." He lifted the cup to his lips, had a sip and almost choked. "Wow, Ella. This is strong."

"You have to catch-up," I said playfully. "Besides, it's only like two shots."

"Aren't I driving you home?" he asked.

"No, we can find a place here to crash or just catch an uber back home."

"Okay," he said and took a long drink from his cup.

"Skull, skull, skull," I joked as I sidled up closer to him, and he did. 

"Wow," I breathed once he had finished it. "That had like five shots in it," I confessed.

"Ella," he half scolded, half laughed. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"Maybe," I shrugged, and my voice sounded seductive even to me; my eyes lingering on his for a moment too long as a smile crept across my face. I turned and walked back to the bar, scooping my hair off my neck as I did so, baring my neck and scantily clad back to him. I poured another two drinks, being super generous with the alcohol and extra stingy with the mixer. Before I could pick mine up, he came up behind me and put his hands on either side of me, trapping me against the table, my back to his chest. He was so close; his body pushed against my back. I could feel his breath on the bare skin of my neck. I tilted my neck to the side and rested my head against his shoulder, enjoying the way his breath tickled my neck. The alcohol made me feel courageous. 

"Wait a second," he said, his voice low and sexy in my ear. He lifted one cup to his lips, taking a long sip before adding more soft drink to dilute the alcohol. He handed me the cup, then took the other one for himself.

I turned to face him, which was slightly difficult considering how close he was to me, and he didn't move. One of his arms still barred me in, the other held his drink in his hand. "You don't like my drinks," I pouted, holding my cup near my lips, not taking my eyes off him. I was sure his eyes were lingering on my lips.

"I just don't want you to get way too drunk," he said.

"Too late!" I giggled and skulled my drink. It was still strong, even after Harry had diluted it for me. For half a second, I felt like I might vomit, but the feeling passed. I knew I had to slow down if I was going to remember this night. I looked across the room where a few of the guys were crowded around, doing shots of tequila with Jess. 

"Oh, this looks fun!" I said and took Harry by the hand. It was warm and soft and felt natural in mine. I walked, or more likely stumbled, over to the group and Harry followed close behind, his hand still in mine.

Jess was holding a lemon in one hand, and salt was lined up along her other hand. One of the boys poured himself a shot, licked the salt off her hand and tipped the alcohol down his throat. Jess put the lemon wedge in his mouth and giggled gleefully.

"Ella!" She said, grabbing me by the arm and dragging me close to her which ripped Harry's hand from mine. "You're wearing the right clothes for this."

She swung me around, almost too suddenly and before I realised what had happened, I was lying on the table. Jess poured salt in a small, straight line over my toned stomach, then poured a shot of tequila and put it in Harry's hand.

"Open," she said, hovering a wedge of lemon over my mouth. I did as she asked and held it between my lips.

"Thank me later," she whispered quietly enough that only I could hear, and gave me a wink. 

Jess, you are the ultimate wing-woman, I thought to myself.

"You know what to do," she said to Harry. "Lick, sip, suck."

Harry raised his eyebrows at me, and I nodded slightly, wanting nothing more. Without a word, he stepped forward. He bent down, slowly licking the salt from my body, his eyes never breaking contact with mine. His tongue trailed along my stomach, slowly, seductively and I felt my hips want to lift in response, but I held back. It left a tingling spark of electricity behind as he lifted his head and let the alcohol slide down his throat, again keeping the same intense eye contact. Then his hands were on the table on either side of my head, and he slowly lowered his face to mine, his eyes smouldering with desire the way I had become familiar with.

He was so close, and if I wasn't so dazed and confused, I would have spat the lemon out at the last second, and let his lips finally touch mine.

He closed the gap between us and sucked the lemon from between my lips.