Enter, You

Perspective of Admittance

A few hours passed of the two of them simply enjoying each other's company, paying no mind to any overly curious onlookers and the noisy background. They were just there together, unconsciously falling into a cycle of teasing, touching, and laughter. The rain finally let up, the rays of light seemed to break through the clouds just to get a closer look at Seokjin. He took notice of the sudden brightness and looked outside the window.

"We can finally head outside!"

Abandoning their drinks, Seokjin lead Namjoon outside to the beach. The wind was slowing down in speed, only brushing their hair gently as they walked onto the shoreline. The colors of the sky seemed to blend together in tune with the waves crashing onto the sand, only to slow down and barely reach their feet. Taking in just a moment to enjoy the view to its full extent, Seokjin didn't notice Namjoon's gaze upon him. Of all the things he would've given to see this moment, life handed it to him for free. Pulling out his phone from his back pocket, he carefully took a picture of the other in order to savor this time forever. Lowering his phone, he somehow couldn't notice that the subject had moved.

"What's more beautiful, the scenery or me?"

Namjoon was startled, falling onto the moist sand and almost dropping his phone into the ocean. Seokjin was still directly above him sporting a grin. Despite the limited distance between them, Seokjin was only inches away from hearing exactly how much of an impact he made on Namjoon as his heart rate accelerated. "You. Hands down." Seokjin smiled with satisfaction as he leaned back up and held out his hand.

"Of course! There was no other possible option."

Namjoon took Seokjin's hand and pulled himself up, applying as little force on Seokjin as to not impose on him. It was impossible to cling onto the other with such little exertion, which was made clear when both of them fell onto the sand. Namjoon quickly darted his eyes over to Seokjin, expecting hints of anger, but all he seemed to express was happiness.

How exactly did he get here? In which point in life did he want to stop following the other and walk alongside him? His head flooded with questions as he laid before him. Middle school was nothing but an awkward period of self-doubt and curiosity, but Seokjin maintained as the constant that kept him going. Given the time back then, Namjoon brushed off any feelings he couldn't directly explain. But, he could explain this. His almost attraction to his best friend of several years. The years have treated them well, highlighting any aspects of themselves and learning to accept any faults. Heading into high school with Seokjin lead him to try to piece together how those off-years could've turned someone into such a marvel to behold. Where did it go so right? Even with his perfection, Namjoon was the only one that's stayed long enough to see his flaws. As someone so sought after, Namjoon's watched Seokjin throw away numbers of love letters, his rejections always quick and almost harsh. If Namjoon tried anything, he would've surely been rejected the same way. That's the way these kinds of love always worked. He'd be left alone with no one but himself and countless sleepless nights of recounting of where it went wrong. But even with those nights to look forward to, he knew for certain that he wouldn't be left with any regrets.

Seokjin's attention turned to crabs scuttling over sideways along the beach, heading around any humans and obstacles along the way. Unexpectedly, his younger's face didn't seem to glow by their sudden appearance. His thoughts seemed to be somewhere else, possibly ignoring Seokjin completely. Yawning without covering his mouth (something he only did around friends), he drowsily laid his head on Namjoon's shoulder. That seemed to get his attention. Namjoon tilted his head to the side to take in how close he was to his proximity. Ticking off all the boxes and questions in his head, he could only reach one reasonable solution. Confess his love and bury the hatchet before he could waste more hours thinking of the possibilities. Maybe in an alternate universe, he could spend his life with Seokjin. Maybe in an alternate universe, he'd be able to wake up to Seokjin's still sleeping body and be able to kiss him goodbye. Swallowing the spit that was collecting in his throat, he prepared himself to do what he figured to be unimaginable. Taking his best friend's hand and looking at him directly he could see Seokjin awaken at Namjoon's actions.

"I think I'm in love with you, Seokjin."

He was surprised he didn't just mutter.

"I mean, I firmly think I'm in love with you."

Namjoon was turning red as he mustered out the rest of his poorly prepared confession.

"I mean.. You could have anyone in the world. I wish that you'd choose me as your lover."

Seokjin gave a patient smile and put his other hand over Namjoon's.

"Are you asking me out?"

Namjoon turned his head from Seokjin's gaze. It's never felt this intense before, the pressure just to say a few words.

"I.. know I can't. I'm just your best friend. And I can't lose you."

Seokjin almost looked disappointed. Namjoon's confession reminded himself of a schoolgirl's just before getting rejected.

"I don't want to lose you. I'll just follow by your side."

Now, he was just confused. Seokjin had words to say, but Namjoon couldn't bear to hear the outcome.

"I'm sorry. I don't want you to remember me like this."

Namjoon stood up, the feeling of doubt and unrest sinking in. Seokjin could see it, even if he hasn't said anything. Namjoon rejected all notions and beliefs in front of him before he could give a proper response. He looked unfathomably hurt and Seokjin couldn't handle seeing him like that.

"Why do you feel like this?"

Seokjin stood up as well, taking Namjoon by the chin and forcing their eyes to meet. Namjoon could only give an uneasy smile.

"I'm sorry. Just wait until I confess to you properly before you decide to take me or not."

Seokjin hesitantly nodded to his terms but still gripped Namjoon's hand.

That was the right choice, wasn't it? His thoughts just grew noisier by the second. Why did he still hold his hand like that? Namjoon searched Seokjin's face for any hints of disgust but there was only patience. He shouldn't have tried anything. He should've just stayed following Seokjin until the end of his days. When did he grow so selfish? Everyone else got a chance at him. Why couldn't he? Even with his inner contradictions and back and forth, he forced himself to snap out of it. There was no evidence on either side that could've calmed him down. Maybe he could push for a response, a simple reaction. His heart alerted him that he was about to do something terribly stupid but he would've settled for anything to call him down. The reaction he was looking for was right in front of him. Leaning forward and holding Seokjin still, he kissed Seokjin directly.

"Wait until I can express my feelings properly."

Seokjin gave a simple smile with no real complications beneath it.

"I think you already have."