The fact that I was always so hostel towards him.
Knowing that one day he'd leave me
Yet he'd reassured me that he'd never leave me.
That i was his world
His happiness
His everything
Yet I kept my distance
Not wanting to get hurt
I kept a wall up to protect myself
Though I did tell him how I felt
Always honest
How he made me feel.
When I finally started taking my wall down one brick at a time.
I felt loved..
That didn't last long though
He left
I dont know what I did
Happy one day
The next heartbroken
I waited though
Waited till he came back.
After two months of not talking and him ignoring me
I knew it was over.
My chest hurt
Hurt for three months
Crying myself to sleep
I never believed the heartbroken girls that cryed over lost men.
Always thought it silly
Always called them stupid for taking their lives just because of a break up
I know now.
Losing him hurt.
It felt like he took the bricks from my wall and throw them at me. Killing me slowly.
Missing him
Always thinking of him. All his lovely words.
Words that now seem like lies.
And I figured. They were lies all along.
I'll tell you though
Now im okay.
Yes occasionally I think of him.
It doesn't hurt as much as 3months ago though
I can breath now.
Im forgetting him.
I dont need him now.
It's like breaking a bone. It slowly heals. And soon it'll be okay. All will be fine.
I promise.(trust me im getting there)
