Patience & Love (title change: Breaking the Nerd)

Chapter Four

NOT EDITED

Chapter Four

Barrett's POV

Reaching into my closest I withdraw the wooden guitar carry it over to the end of my bed. I slide down onto the floor and place the instrument in my lap. Leaning my head back I begin strumming the strings on the instrument producing a beautiful melody. This is my attempt to take my focus off of the proposition that was presented to me today.

Part of me if curious of the girl. That same part wants to be a knight in shining armor and rescue her. Then, there is another part. The part of me that does not want to get involved. The part of me that does not want to expose myself and life to someone and risk getting hurt or hurting her. There is this feeling that I have battled for so long of not feeling worthy or good enough for others.

A knock pulls me from my thoughts, and I stop strumming the instrument, looking up at the door. In the doorway stands my baby sister, Grace. Her brown hair is in a messy bun on her head and her eyes are sparkling as she walks into my room in her pajama's, a oversized tshirt and plaid shorts. Grace jumps onto my bed laying on her stomach facing the end of the bed placing her head beside my own.

"Yes?" I question my sister in a curious tone. I lean my head back onto the bed.

"What's wrong?" she inquires propping her chin on her vertical wrist. I give her a questioning look. "You only play when something is bothering you," she states in a matter of fact tone. I heave a sigh of frustration.

She is right, I do have a habit of playing the guitar when something is on my mind. Do I have the bandwidth to even understand what is going on? I wish I had answers or knew something. I look into my sister's eye and see the adoration that she holds for me. Grace may be the youngest, but she is wise beyond her years. Of my siblings she is the closest to me and I would trust her with anything. "There is this girl," I say with a sigh and one of Grace's perfectly sculpted eyebrows shot up.

"Barrett, are you joking? A girl? You haven't..." she stammers off in confusion. I did not need her to finish her thought. I have spoke of or even really thought of girls since freshman year. I am surprised my family isn't wondering if I am gay. I'm not and since things changed for me, I have not allowed my self to open up to anyone including girls. It's not like I am a virgin in any sense. Instead I am just surrounded by many walls and protective measures to keep people away. I shake my head of these thoughts not wanting to remember the past.

"Yeah. She is way different though and I met her mother and she," Grace cuts me off.

"Wait, what? Start from the beginning, because I am so confused," She says running her hand down her face and I realize that I was not making any sense. So with a heavy sigh I lay my head back staring at the ceiling and start from the beginning.

I tell Grace everything, not sparing a single detail. Honestly this was easier then expected as it all came out like word vomit. Once I start I couldn't stop. God I sound like a fucking girl. I finish telling Grace and tear my eyes from the ceiling to her face.

"Shit. Wow." She says rolling over onto her back and looking at the ceiling.

"Grace," I groan. "That is not helpful," I reply simply.

"Well, I mean the whole things is weird. Like what? But I mean we do not need another great love story, just so you know, because mom and dad already hold the trophy," she says and I can image her rolling her eyes.